I’m Thankful for Turkey From A Bucket, Not Mansicles

It was two days of family togetherness that started with ice and ended with mansicles.

I’ve mentioned the amazing turkey recipe by Alton Brown that my husband was dying to try out on other people.  His cooking skills really go unappreciated much of the time.  And this was an awesome turkey.  The one off putting thing about this recipe may be the preparation.  The first step after removing the giblets is to put it in a bucket with ice and a lovely brine. Yes a bucket of turkey is NOT like a bucket of chicken from KFC.  I made the mistake of sharing this secret with the rest of the world.  I posted this picture on Facebook, encouraging people to guess what was in it:

There’s turkey in that thar bucket.

(Please ignore the grossness of my back porch.  It’s called a mudroom for a reason…)

This made my mother a little nervous.  She didn’t realize that this involved turkeys in buckets.  She wanted to know if it was safe.  Um… we’re all still alive after last year.  I’m not sure if this was really that reassuring to her.

They still came, despite fears of being poisoned.  Which was good considering they were the only ones who accepted our invitations.  We’re unpopular and stuff.  We don’t really have places to put sleeping people in our little house.  No beautiful guest rooms here.  Just a couch, a love seat, and a mouse contaminated air mattress.  However, if you really want to sleep in an actual bed or bedroom you can hang out with one of my kids who pee the bed.  Oh yeah, have we got a place for you!

Since the turkey was not put in the refrigerator early enough (um, forgotten in the freezer by the turkey chef) my husband had wrestled with it in a sink running cold water for over a half hour trying to get the giblets out.  This was quite humorous.  I really, really should have taken pictures.  Did you know that a wrench can get that stuff out?  POP!  Out came some sort of meshy thing.  As it turned out, he quite didn’t get it all.  What he thought were the giblets were something else, I guess?  I did not conduct an inspection, therefore I cannot offer an opinion.  After dinner my mother happened to notice the little bag of guts still in there.  I guess it’s a good thing it was in paper.  House fire avoided-you can’t make this stuff up!

Thanksgiving. Check out that beautiful green bean casserole.

I’ll be very surprised if anyone comes to my house to eat anything after reading this.

Dinner turned out quite well, despite the turkey troubles.  The turkey was delicious, as was the taters.  My loving husband forgot to make the gravy.  Therefore we decided on that yummy prepackaged chicken gravy.  That was ok with me, I hate turkey gravy.  The green bean casserole was AWESOME.  My one contribution to the meal was green bean casserole.  YEAH.  It’s famous.  I cannot divulge my secret.  If it weren’t for my taco soup and my green bean casserole, I’d have no awesome recipes.

My parents stayed over because Evil Genius had tickets to the game the next afternoon.  My husband was very excited about this because he could actually go to the game with someone who didn’t ask things like “What’s the pink upside down exclamation mark over there?” (that was me that asked that by the way).  My Dad appreciates football almost as much as Evil Genius.  I was excited about this because I could hang out with my Mom a little more.  Even with the kids along this can be fun.

When my parents arrived the weather was in the mid 60s and beautiful.  The next day it was 27 with wind chills in the teens.  My Dad wore his long johns, my husband wore his usual sweatshirt and kind of wintery coat.  Evil Genius thinks he has to laugh at the cold or something.  He has some sort of thing against wearing hats that actually protect his ears and head.   He scoffed at the convertible gloves/mittens that I told him to take.  I am so nice.  I changed my plans to take them over to the stadium so they didn’t have to walk the usual half hour over and back like we usually do (we don’t pay $20 for parking).  As it turns out, these two die hard football fans did not last the entire game.  I had to go back and get them early, like at half-time.  Weenies.  I dropped off two guys but picked up two Mansicles.  You know like icicles but human.  They were a tad bit cold.  Evil Genius had the heater in the car going full blast.  I was sweating so much that I had to take a shower after we got home.  I still don’t think he thawed completely for quite a while after we got home.

From a previous game where the temperature was pleasant. Why does my son look so scared in this picture?  My daughter does not always have a moustache.

I think they had fun, but Evil Genius was bummed that the weather didn’t cooperate so he and my dad could fully appreciate the game.  Like he controls the weather!  That’s my job-my children have actually accused me of making the weather work against them.  Next year they can go together and experience what a game is when it isn’t so darn cold.  No more mansicles, please.