What I’m Really Still Doing Here Besides Staring At My Laptop

This week’s sentence for Finish the Sentence Friday is “My blogging goals for this year are…”

Goals? Where we’re going we don’t need goals…

Goals?  Perhaps one of them should be to include a Back To The Future reference in EVERY SINGLE POST THIS YEAR!

(Or to not use so many capitals.  And parentheses).

I could aim to use not so many references to bodily functions, but what fun would that be?

Last year I thought I might be on my way to making a living writing.  How’s that working out for me these days?  Not like I had expected.  While it has provided some very unique opportunities for me, now it’s something I do when I can do it.  Which sometimes is nearly impossible with two young kids, a husband, a house to maintain, and oh yes the paying job.  The job which just increased my hours and is about to give me a raise, because I’m almost off of probation, yo!

(That is the probationary period when you start a job, not as in ankle bracelet check in with your parole officer type of probation.  Hey look, more parentheses!)

And to be a “blogger” these days one is expected to maintain all sorts of crazy online presence giving and sharing on various forms of social media.  Some of that like Facebook that would rather show my stuff to one person than the almost 800 people who have signed up to follow it.  Frustrating…

So what the hell am I still doing here?

1)  Connecting  Because the online community is fabulous with a capital “F”.  This past month was definitely evidence that you don’t necessarily need to hang out with someone face to face every day to have a great support network.

2)  Venting  Because I certainly need that.  Even if I have to speak in clever code that no one but me understands.

3)  Creativity However weird it may turn out, I need a way to get that creativity out of me and into something tangible.

4)  Sharing  Because if I can share the weirdness that makes my family unique and make someone laugh in the process, it’s worth it.

So while I don’t have any goals, I think it’s good to have some concrete reasons as to why I keep hanging round these parts when I can.  As long as you are willing to read my crazy randomness occasionally and maybe get a laugh or two out of it, then I guess my job here is done.

This has been a Finish The Sentence Friday post, hosted by the delightful ladies of the FTSF universe-

Kristi of Finding Ninee

Kate of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine With My Quiet Time?

Stephanie of Mommy, For Real

Janine from Janine’s of Confessions of a Mommyholic

New Years Resolutions or Lack Thereof

My husband and I resolved early in our marriage to never do the same thing twice on New Years Eve.  While Christmas and other holidays in our family tend to be somewhat rooted in tradition, we have tried to keep this particular one tradition free.  Later on we expanded it to not making New Years Resolutions.  We used to make them.  One year I recall  putting them on paper in an envelope so that we could see if we actually kept them.  Now that I think about it, I bet we never even found the envelopes.

The idea behind the resolutions is a good one.  The idea of a new year is a fresh start.  Who wouldn’t want to start off with a clean slate?  I myself could really use a fresh start.  In years past when I have attempted said resolutions, the year got underway and by February those resolutions went by the wayside.

I’m not changing my mind about it.  It’s not that I don’t plan on making some changes.  Rather than resolutions I have instead set some goals.  Is that the same thing?  Perhaps, but by not calling the resolutions I may be more apt to stick with them.  And these are things that I have already started.  No sense in waiting for a new year to kick in.

Eat Healthier-I’ve been to the edge and back, baby.  With depression comes some crazy comfort food.  But one can only subsist on dark chocolate and sugar for so long.  What I really need is a spell.  I need to go all Harry Potter and somehow cast a spell upon myself that the health food I once consumed regularly is the best thing for me.  This week I have consumed more vegetables.  I always eat whole grains, that is a no brainer.  But this love affair with sweeteners both natural and artificial has to be put to a stop.  More veggies, more fresh fruit, less diet pop, less junk.  Consuming less of everything-it should be simple, right?

Move-As in getting moving, not as in moving to another town (though that would be nice).  Fatigue, cold weather, frustration with schedules, complaining children, and an uncooperative canine has made this not a priority to me.  I don’t have to do this to excess, simply getting back into walking some every day would be peachy.  I’ve done some yoga the last two days.  I’ve attempted to lift weights.  Last night my husband walked in the door and I walked out-not because I hate him, but because I needed to take a walk alone.  It’s less about losing the coffee cake top, more about just taking care of moi.

Attitude-The longer I’m unemployed, the more “losery” I feel.  Supposedly the state I live in has a great unemployment rate-and them proclaiming this just makes me feel that much worse.  Thanks, so glad everyone else is finding a job.  I have a feeling those numbers are greatly skewed.  I need to snap out of it and try to just feel better.  Whether or not I have a job shouldn’t define who I am.  What I do as a mom and wife should be more important.  I know, it’s all about that damn forest through the trees!  It’s hard to feel good when you’ve sent out over a hundred job applications and have had one interview, and then they took over a month to get back to you in an email.  For a cashier job.  At Lowes.

Honestly, is finding a part time job going to make me happy?  No, but being financially secure would be nice.  Can I make a job fall out of the sky?  No.  But I can try to control my attitude about it.  Take care of myself (you know, like showering and stuff).  Embrace the free time.  Appreciate what I have.  Play more with my kids.  Write more.  All the stuff I should have been doing all along.

So that’s what I’m working on, even if I don’t call them resolutions.  Be sure to laugh at me six months from now.

I’ve seen several alternatives to making resolutions online.  My favorite is a jar with little slips of paper.  Every time you find something good, write it down on a slip of paper and put it in the jar.  At the end of the year, wouldn’t that be great to open up and read all of the good things that happened? This of course would require effort and thinking on my part.  So it’s probably not going to happen…

I’ll wrap this up with my husband’s whole take on the resolution thing.  I know he wants to try to get back into shape as well, but I’m not sure if he’s really calling it a resolution.  We were talking about me writing this post last night.  He said “My resolution is to have a good looking wife and two kids and a dog.”  Hey, he called me good looking.  I’m willing to support that.

This post was written in part because I am a follower and want to be liked, or something like that.  Actually, I wanted to start participating in Theme Thursday over on Something Clever 2.0.  Jenn was nice enough to actually write about my blog this week.  She even was kind enough to point out how much I use poop and pee in my posts.  Please come on over there and read what other folks have to say on the matter, or other matters, and read Jenn’s blog too.  It’s a win win, no matter what you do.  Good stuff, Maynard.

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge-Blogging:The Why and the What

I’m participating in the Getting to Know the Blogger Challenge sponsored by A Little Unhinged.

10)  Why did you start blogging and what is your blog about?

Not quite like that, but I sure love this cartoon.

It was pretty simple.  I started blogging because my brain was full.  I started a blog as a way to put all of the stuff in my head down on paper.  With all of the crappy stuff that was going on job wise, I was really depressed and dealing with severe anxiety.  My out of control ADD didn’t help matters.  I felt like my life was out of control.  I was dealing with one child with lots of issues including behavior problems and my other who was extremely strong willed.  My husband had just been hired on full-time after graduating from engineering school the past December.  Here he was following his dreams and being successful at it, and I felt like I had no hope and no future because I had made school and career choices that didn’t work out.  I felt like my life was over while his was just beginning.  When I started writing it started out as a diary of whatever stuff was coming out of my addled brain.  When my husband started receiving his insurance benefits for his job, I went on anti-anxiety medication because I couldn’t face another day feeling like I was on the verge of a panic attack every minute of the day.  I wasn’t proud of this, but it had to be done so I could be functional.  I did it for my kids.

When this occurred, something happened.  A part of me that I knew existed but had been gone for so long came out, and I started writing humorous stuff.  As I gained more confidence, I started using social media and all of a sudden I had followers.  In total I have over 100 followers now, as opposed to just a handful when I started truly promoting my blog.  Considering I started it back in June, I think that’s not too shabby.

I blog about “STUFF”.  Mom stuff, ADD stuff, family stuff, Anxiety stuff, finding myself stuff, life stuff.  I hate to put myself into any sort of category, because I tend to be all over the place some weeks.  I just put down what is in my head.  I try to be funny, but sometimes I just have to be serious.  Just like life.

(It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t put that in there!  You should have seen that coming!)

Previous Blogger Challenge Posts-This Could Be Fun:  I’m Doing The 15 Day Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge, Where I Grew Up, Favorite Childhood Memories, School, Work, Life, Friends, Family

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge: Goals

I’m participating in The Getting to Know The Blogger Challenge hosted by A Little Unhinged.  I took a day off for Thanksgiving, but now today I am talking about my goals.

9)  What are your goals?

Oh look, this is me. How fitting!

A while back, a friend of mine was going through a very tough time in her life.  When addressing what was going on, she simply said this:  “I want to get back to enjoying my life, not just simply existing in it.”  How very well said.  This is something that I put in the back of my mind as I have been on my journey.  As we continue to try to build our lives back after years of school and unemployment, I’m hoping I’ll get there eventually.

I think that sometimes we need to make our own sunbeams.

My goal is to find something that I can feel good about and be successful at.  For now I’m pursuing writing and blogging.  I hope that maybe the road will lead to something that I can do for a living.  I would love to help support my family again, but maybe in a way that I find fulfilling.  Maybe someday it will be possible for me to go back to school, but for now I’m not so sure it’s in the cards for me.

I want to raise my kids to see that people who work hard and stick to it can achieve anything.  My husband has proved that this is true, but I’m still struggling with that concept.  I want them to find their niche in life that I can’t seem to find for myself.  I just want them to be happy, feel safe, and secure.  Isn’t that what we all want for our kids?

Previous Blogger Challenge Posts-This Could Be Fun:  I’m Doing The 15 Day Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge, Where I Grew Up, Favorite Childhood Memories, School, Work, Life, Friends, Family