The Canine-Feline Paradigm: Who Ate My Poop?


He’s not scared in this picture, but it’s darn cute (the kitten, not Evil Genius. Then again I guess he’s cute too…)

So we had this bright idea that we’d get a kitten.

Now before you start lecturing me about how the world is full of older cats that need a good home, keep in mind that I would LOVE to adopt another older kitty. However, we have a large dog that really wants a fellow animal that might tolerate him.  Not to mention that we already own one adult antisocial female kitty.

We’d been going to animal shelters for months trying to find a boy kitty that would coexist semi-peacefully with our pooch.  We sure didn’t have much luck.  Every time we went all of the young kitties were already gone, leaving us with a selection of very beautiful older female kitties.  Yes I wanted to take all of them home, but sadly I wasn’t allowed.  It was for their own safety-there was no way Rogue would let them live.

Recently we just happened to stop at the shelter at the right time.  They had many kittens to choose from, two whole litters as a matter of fact!  There was one kitten in particular that was quite a bit smaller then the rest.  Being one that watched Charlotte’s Web over and over again as a kid, I’m kind of partial to the runt of the litter.  His name was Percival, but of course since we are complete geeks we had to choose some sort of science fiction/superhero/fantasy name to go along with our cat Rogue and our dog Neo.

So that day he left the shelter as Percival, but he came home as James Tiberius Kat.  If you get the joke, then you are totally cool. The jokes are pretty much endless with this one.
For example:

The cat catches and kills a mouse, “He’s dead Jim.”


Yeah, I think we’ll keep this one.

Obviously we won’t be calling him Jim, we’ll be calling him Tiberius.  This little guy was 6 weeks old the day we brought him home.  He’s cute, he’s ornery, but is also a great cuddler, as you can see from the above picture. What he lacks in size he certainly makes up for in determination.  His favorite spot is on your lap or on your shoulder, because for some reason he thinks he’s a parrot.  He goes and goes like the Energizer bunny, until he drops right where he stops. He just can’t keep his eyes open and has to take a literal cat nap.


Only at our house a few hours and he was already driven to drink.

So how is it going between the canine and the feline?  I believe the following quote from Evil Genius pretty much sums it up:  “You’d think a 75 pound dog would be tougher than a 12 ounce cat.”

If nothing else, we are fully entertained.

Neo wants to play with Tiberius.  However he is fifty times bigger than the kitten is.  Therefore the wee one doesn’t want a whole lot to do with him yet.  There is a lot of sniffing from the dog and lots of hissing from the cat. The cat puts the dog in his place, the dog slinks off with his tail between his legs and those big sad eyes that seem to say “Nobody loves me.”

And there is fighting over me.  They both want to sit with me, which apparently is against some sort of law in the pet book.  At one point Tiberius sat next to me, looked at the dog who was across the room, and firmly planted one foot on top of my foot as if to say “Look, I’m touching her and you’re  not…”

Neo being stubborn and jealous of the cat will wedge himself in alongside me on the couch, with his back to Tiberius and his tail is literally smacking the crap out of him.  Tiberius thinks it’s a toy, but he’s not quite sure he’s ready to touch that dog.  While it is getting better, as in they can almost sit on the same piece of furniture, they’re not exactly buddies.

Dog meets cat.  Dog likes cat.  Cat does not care for dog.

Dog meets cat. Dog likes cat. Cat does not care for dog.

So instead of getting along as we had hoped,  the dog eats the kitten food and the kitten’s poop.  Now the kitty is taking matters into his own hands and is trying to eat the dog’s food. This was quite amusing, considering the dog food bowl is bigger than he is!

It’s seriously almost as funny as the time I caught Rogue playing with a mouse under the bed.  Normally she does not play.  As a matter of fact, she does not even want us to THINK that she plays.  One day I walked into the bedroom and caught her, paw out to bat at a catnip mousie.  She saw me, froze, and very slowly pulled her paw back.  “You never saw that.”

Speaking of, what does the antisocial kitty think of the kitten?

I hate you all so much right now...

I hate you all so much right now…

Do you have members of both species at your house?  Do they get along or do they want to kill each other in the middle of the night?  I’d love to hear all about it.  I’d also love to think that there is hope that these two might actually like each other someday!

I wrote about dogs and cats for Theme Thursday back at the beginning of the year, chronicling the whole phenomenon in our house…  The link to that is HERE.

Weekly Wrap-Up: The Brain Dead Edition

my brainWhere have all of my ideas gone?  Where are my brains?  Why can’t I write anything funny and/or coherent? This is seriously bringing me down!  It’s a good thing it’s summer and people are busy doing things like being outside-maybe no one will notice.

However, I learned some things this week.  1)  Listening to that Sarah McLachlan song from the abused animal commercials will make you extremely depressed if you listen to it over and over.  2)  Do NOT look for “funny fireworks” on Google Image Search unless you are prepared to see things that you cannot ever unsee (what the hell is funny about burned butts anyway????)

I also came away with some questions, mainly this one:  Why is it that very few towns in Iowa actually have fireworks ON the 4th of July?  When the place you live has the fireworks on the 3rd it’s a bit anticlimactic.  Why would they choose to have them on July 5th?  Having fireworks on days that aren’t the 4th just makes that day seem like JUST ANOTHER DAY!

I also did stuff this week too, believe it or not!

Monday  Ding Dong, The Flake Is Back…  If you are a blogger then I’m sure you can relate.  Awards are so nice, but if you lose track and they pile up, well…

Tuesday Humor Me Blog Hop Number Five (AKA The Who’s Johnny Edition) Never agree to cohost on a week that there is some sort of holiday.  Even though we did very little, I had very little time to read posts.  Here it is Saturday and I’m still not through reading them all.  What I have read is very, very funny!

Then I went the extra mile and posted this, because I would have never forgiven myself if I hadn’t done this week’s decade:

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday Bathtub Time Machine: The 80s, This List Goes to 11  Everyone seemed to like this list except my husband.  He still hasn’t accepted my challenge to get his blog out of the starting gate and outdo me.

Wednesday  Wordless Wednesday: Little Firecrackers  Aren’t they cuuuuuuuute?  I also had to plug the latest participant in the Character Assassination Carousel, because she is insanely cool and hilariously funny.  After the fact I found this cartoon that I had to post on her wall on Facebook because it was just too much fun!

waldo 2Thursday  Happy 4th!  Where else can you associate tampons with firecrackers?  Funny 4th of July stuff, Theme Thursday-Reruns, and another plug for my friend Amy at Funny is Family and her crockpot recipes, and not just because I was included this time!

Friday  There was no post, because we were busy with this:

IMG_2105This is James Tiberius Cat.  He is six weeks old and so teeny tiny!  He is beyond cute. We’re calling him Tiberius, except when he catches a mouse.  That’s when we’ll seize opportunity and say “He’s dead, Jim.”  We’re having a lot of fun with the little guy. I hope that I can still get things done with this kind of orneriness in the house!

kitteh tweetAs you can see he’s already tweeting and everything.  He’s already a more entertaining writer than I am and he’s only been here a day!

Stuff I Really Liked This Week

BlogHer Voices of the Year announced the winners.  I entered this, but felt silly doing so considering at the time I hadn’t even been blogging for a year.  Naturally I didn’t win but a few people I know did.  How exciting is it that bloggers that I interact with every day have been chosen for this.  That is huge!  Here is a list of all of my peeps that made it:

Erin and Ellen of Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
Julie of Julie DeNeen 2.0
Katia of I Am The Milk
Kathy of Kissing the Frog
Kim  from Let Me Start By Saying (for a post that she wrote for In the Powder Room)
Leslie of The Bearded Iris
Michelle of They Call Me Mummy

Congratulations to everyone who was selected!  The link with the complete list and links to all of the selected writing is below.

Announcing the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year!

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

Just to make all of those people who keep finding my blog happy by googling this...

Just to make all of those people who keep finding my blog happy by googling this… You’re welcome.

Will Ferrell USA thong  See above

bra made out of red solo cups  Red solo cup, you lift me up…

how to fart glitter  If you can fart glitter then I really don’t want you giving me any homemade cards.  Just saying…

why don’t you hang out with ellen she’s not a flake  Ellen who?

And then there was this conversation with Sarah from Sarah’s Brand New Chapter that made me giggle:

creepy terms

This next week

Monday:  Surprise me.  Oh wait, I should be the one surprising YOU!  Dang it.

Tuesday:  Twisted Mixtape Tuesday the 80s Part II.  I do ear worms and eye worms.  Scared?  You should be…

Wednesday:  This post is TBD…

Thursday: Theme Thursday’s topic is superheroes.  If I don’t write it, my kid will.

Friday:  July Secret Subject Swap Take One

dry-sense-of-humor-lolcatHave a great weekend and I hope you are able to be more creative than I am at the moment!  🙂