July Secret Subject Swap: If I Could Turn Back Ti-ime (Read it in Cher’s Voice)

Welcome to Take One of July’s Secret Subject Swaps. This week, twelve brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

 My prompt was:  If you could go back in time and relive any moment of your life, what would it be? 

It was submitted by: http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com

She makes the outfit work, I could never pull it off…

If I could “turn back time” and relive just one moment, minus those pants, what WOULD it be?

Or maybe I really need the pants.  They might be a time machine.

I recently wrote a post about do-overs for Theme Thursday, and really wanted to make sure I didn’t rehash the same thing.  I wouldn’t want to relive a moment just to change it, so I thought about a moment that I wouldn’t mind experiencing over and over again!

So just one moment?  Really?  Do we really want to have both a Cher reference AND a Whitney Houston reference in the same post?  Besides, anyone who knows me knows how gosh darn indecisive I can be!  So instead of one big event I’d rather be allowed to select a “highlight” reel from my life.  A top ten list, in order of occurrence.  That way when the mad scientists in my house perfect time travel, I can give them some direction you know!

Sarah’s Top Wonderful Life Moments List

I went to New York City as a kid. The future was so bright, I had to wear shades (and apparently a Hawaiian shirt).

1) Start spreading the news…The week I went to New York City with my family.  All right I’m breaking the rules of the rules right off the bat by choosing a whole week instead of a single moment. This was before digital cameras, so I do have some photographic memory of it, but not nearly as many pictures as I would have liked.  We did so many cool things that week!

2)  M-I-C-K-E-Y Any of the times I went to DisneyWorld as a kid.  We went five times because when we lived there, everyone who came to see us had to go.  I miss that.  We were so lucky to live in that area for two years!

3)  Supermoon+ocean  Night on the beach in Florida, the full moon shining on the water.  Many people have their happy place that they go to in their head.  This is mine.  I hope to get back there someday, but the way things are going I surely am not holding my breath!

4)  The Proposal The day my husband proposed to me on the playground of the daycare center where I worked at the time.  Never in my life have I been so surprised.  I had no idea it was coming!

5)  Going to the chapel and we’re gonna get married… My wedding day.  I know, I know, let’s be predictable here.

6)  Supermusical!  When I went to see Phantom of the Opera.  AMAZING!  People can poke fun all they want, I was blown away by it and would love to see another Broadway play.  Sadly I have no pictures of it, just vivid memories.

7) Happiness with no ouch The birth of my kids, minus the pain.

8)  SURPRISE!  When I went to surprise my friend Marcus who sings with the Texas Tenors.  The look on his face was absolutely priceless!

9)  Pour some sugar on me The time I went to see Def Leppard in concert.  I got rocked.  There is nothing that compares.

10)  Drivers and Danica start your engines The trip we took last year to see the NASCAR Sprint Cup race in Kansas City.

So there you have it.  These were all great times in my life.  Many of these things I will most likely never get to do again, but at least I can close my eyes and relive them in my head!

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Check them all out, pretty please with lots of sugar on top?

http://BakingInATornado.com                                   Baking In A Tornado

http://themomisodes.com/                                       The Momisodes

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/             Moore Organized Mayhem

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/                Stacy Sews and Schools

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                     Menopausal Mother

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                             The Insomniac’s Dream

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                       Searching For Sanity

www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                              Evil Joy Speaks

Songs From The Big Flake: If My Life Was a Song I’d Need Back Up Dancers

Recently I shared an oldie but a goodie, a post speculating about what my life would be like if it was a movie.  But then I got to thinking-what if my life were more like a song?  What songs would be most likely to describe me?  “People are Strange” by The Doors?  “Last Dollar” by Tim McGraw? “Livin’ in the Fridge” by Weird Al?

After a lot of thinking about this way too much, I decided I’d just write my own songs.  Writing your own ditty to the tune of other songs is not as easy as it sounds. My genetic condition enables me to make songs out of virtually anything, but not an entire song.  This was a challenge.  My hat is off to Weird Al!

So get ready.  I’m breaking out the autoharp (because I’m not talented enough to sing and play the flute at the same time).  My backup dancers are prepared to go at a moment’s notice  Here’s my life these days summed up in not one, but three songs:

Brain (To the tune of Girl by Beck)

I saw them yeah I saw them
I think I left them on the back of the toilet
Or maybe out by the vending machines
Or on the top of the underwear rack
With my phone I can try to call
My husband but he’s playing video games
So I’m walking through the aisles of Target
Waiting for someone to turn in my keys

Oh I think I’m gonna need a ride
Because my keys are lost and gone
Oh I know I’m gonna need a ride
Nothing that I could have done
Oh please give me a ride
Nothing that I could have tried

Hey, my fuzzy brain
Hey, my fuzzy brain

Then I dropped it, yeah I dropped it
Dropped my phone while I was using the bathroom
Didn’t flush it, didn’t flush it
Thirty seconds later and I can’t use the speaker
Fell out my pocket, my pants pocket
I’m pretty sure the toilet has a tractor beam
Gotta fix it, can’t replace it
Didn’t get insurance with US Cellular

Yeah I think I’m gonna need some rice
To try to dry out my phone
Brown, basmati, jasmine or white
I’ve never felt so alone
I’d better put it in some rice
Guess it’s really worth a try

Hey, my fuzzy brain
Hey, my fuzzy brain

*************************************************************************************

Mean Mom  (To the tune of Mean by Taylor Swift)

You, with your genius brains
And your facts and your ‘tude that you use against me
You, have forgotten what I’ve said again(It’s like I never said anything)
You, you’re standing on your head in the chair
With the tv on watching Big Bang Theory
You just knocked stuff on the floor again

Well I can yell real loud
With just one single “NO”
But you won’t hear, no you won’t hear me

Someday, you’ll be thinking up a brand new theory
And I’ll all ever be to you is mean
Someday you’ll be making scientific history
And all I’ll ever be to you is mean
All I ever am is mean

You, with your unbrushed hair and your blankie and your fits and your bad constipation
You’ve pooped in your underwear again
(I really didn’t need this)
I fill you full of fiber
Trying to get it all out so you won’t be miserable
I just want you to feel ok again.

You think I push you around
Because I want you to go
In the potty instead of your pants
You really don’t think so
Then you don’t go, yeah you don’t go

Someday, you’ll be taking over some big country
And all I’ll ever be to you is mean
Someday you’ll be in the animal rights industry
And all I’ll ever be to you is mean
Why I gotta be so mean?

You’ll appreciate it years from now
All the pasta I made you try
When I told you to go and play
And all you did was cry
Only some TV and gave you chores and all those bizarre things
Grumbling on about how we don’t help keep the household clean…

But mom is just so mean
Oh she is so mean
But I love her, she’s my mommy, she gives me chocolate
And she’s mean, and mean, and mean…

Someday you’ll see eating vegetables doesn’t cause injury
And mom won’t really seem all that mean, YEAH
Someday we’ll be better people because of mom’s scrutiny
And she won’t really seem all that mean
Why’s she gotta be so?
Someday she’ll be old and living in a cardboard box you see
And she won’t really seem all that mean…
Why’d she have to be so mean?

How They Remind Me  (To the tune of How You Remind Me by Nickelback)

Never made it as a salesgirl
Couldn’t cut it as a music teacher
Tired of applying for the same old jobs
I’m sick of being this pathetic creature

And this is how they remind me
How broke I really am
This is how they remind me
That I should not buy ham

It’s not like I’m not trying
To make a living off of all this writing
This time I’m mistaken
Bout all the money that I thought I’d be makin
And I’ve been mad, I’ve been down
Bout all the rules that I’m supposed to follow
These six words in my head
Scream “Have I found a job yet?”
No, no, no, no no.

Sometimes I smell so bad
There’s some days when I just don’t get clean
I could so use a nap
My two children have almost killed me

This is how they remind me
How old I really am
This is how they remind me
I’m not a miss I’m a ma’am

I’m not like you I’m so boring
Always here trying to write a story
This meal that I’m makin’
Won’t have any meat or bacon
And I’ve been starved, I’ve been down
Down to the bottom of a jar of nutella
These four words that you’ve said
“IS IT SUPPERTIME YET?”
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no no…

**************************************************************************************

So what do you think?  Do I have it in me to be a rock star? Does my life make an almost interesting song?  Would you like to be one of my backup dancers?  What would the songs describing YOUR life be like?

Proof that you can rock out with an autoharp.

If My Life Were A Movie, I’d Hire Better Writers

Recent events have had me thinking about this post that I wrote awhile back and reblogged once before..  Naturally, WordPress won’t let you reblog something more than once.  So I have copied and pasted it all into a nice shiny new post!  So think of it as a rerun that you didn’t see the first time if it’s new to you.

If my life were a movie… there’d be great refreshments at reasonable prices.

I keep thinking lately that if my life were a movie we should almost be at the point where something wonderful happens.  You know, things just seem like they are so bad and then that great thing happens that miraculously turns things around.  It of course results in a happy ending.  The “It’s always darkest before the dawn” type thing.

So obviously this is real life and although I’m sure there’s a plan for me somewhere, I don’t see it happening.  But this brought up a very good bunch of stuff for my blog.  What IF my life WERE like a movie?  What would happen?

I’d get some sort of anonymous donor all of a sudden paying to send me to school.  Then I could follow my dreams.  If this were a movie, I’d know what those dreams were…

I’d get to go back to school with really smart fun people…

I’d have a trainer preparing me for my first triathlon using ordinary things.  I’d be weightlifting family sized cans of vegetable beef soup and full containers of cat litter. I’d be running through an obstacle course made of hula hoops, carefully arranged dog poop, empty Cheerios boxes, and leftover siding.  I’d be pulling a wagon loaded with all of the uneaten food from my house, which would be REALLY heavy (great training potential).  I’d be forced to run up and down the playground equipment at the park over and over.

Just as I’d just given up forever on finding a job and threw myself into something else (most likely the chest high mountain of laundry on the back porch), the dream job would happen to come up on the job website.  I’d decide to apply for one last job and get an interview.  They wouldn’t offer me the job at first, but something miraculous would happen and I would end up getting an even better job because I impressed someone there… because they would think I’m awesome.

We’d break out into song at the most interesting moments.  My daughter going poop in the potty would rate a huge song and dance number.  I would finally get a job interview, and there would be dancers following me as I sang all the way there about how I was going to change my life.  Dinnertime-you bet there’d be some sort of production.  And everyone would like and eat the food too.

“Myyyyyyy husband mowed the laaaaaawn!” Everything would be cause for a musical number if my life were a movie.

Somehow my schedule would miraculously allow me to do all kinds of work to prove the naysayers wrong.  I’d be out there, pounding the pavement, doing something to make everyone who ever doubted me have faith in me again.  Not sure what that would be, but I’d be proving them wrong.

My husband would be very romantic. You know, random flowers and stuff like that.  I bet he’d be conscious too, unless it was a comedy relief type of thing, because unconsciousness can be very funny.

I’d have a better wardrobe (does the HD camera also add ten pounds?)  And better hair.  Much better hair.

I have pretty cute children anyway.  I suppose they would be just as cute, and would say much of the same stuff they say in real life.  Except my daughter wouldn’t poop her pants at the most inopportune moments, and my son wouldn’t eat his boogers.

I’d be giving up my blog just about the time a famous editor would read it.  He would make great strides to try to find me and hire me to come to work for his company.  Also, my fans would rally around my house begging me to return to what inspired their life:  My blog.  Oh yes, and I would have a lot of fans.

I’d have a lightsaber.  I’d also have some sort of superpowers.  And I’d be able to do that slow motion floating and turning in the air thing like on The Matrix movies.  There’d be some sort of epic battle in my backyard.  I’d win.

It would have an awesome, though eclectic, soundtrack.

Yes my life is definitely not a movie.  If you’re willing to buy my story, however, we’ll talk.

Would my life story have all the elements of a Nicholas Cage movie? Would he wonder why he wasn’t in the movie? I’m sure all of the dialogue probably would be whispered or screamed.

FTSF: A Day in My So-Called Life

This is my first attempt to do Finish the Sentence Friday.  I always want to join in, but I end up being either already involved with something else or am just a day late and a dollar short.  Not this time.  I decided it was about time I got my act together and just DID IT!

Today’s sentence was “A Typical Day in my House looks like”:

There are not enough words to accurately describe what a normal day looks like in the Wiser-Genius household.  So instead let me take you on a pictoral journey of sorts…

Watch your feet. Every day is lego armageddon here.

There is dress up, but not in the way you’re thinking…

Superhero suits are being developed and built.  Yes, he built it himself, because that’s what he does.

Books are read.  Many, many books.

We cook, usually healthier fare than this but I don’t always take good pictures.

There is always a need to extricate the dog from something at some point during the day.

Occasionally we even have some ideas.

Elaborate crafts are created (this is a homemade zamboni.)

We have fun just hanging out.

And there is always a lot of love.

My family may seem a little unusual compared to others, but the basic elements of a good family are all there.  And that is what matters most.  I hope you enjoyed the tour through a typical day at my house.  Don’t be scared, please come back!

Now don’t walk, RUN to Can I Get A Bottle of Whine With My Morning Quiet Time? and/or Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyholic and/or Dawn’s Disaster  and/or Mommy for Real (isn’t it great to have choices?) to read all of the other posts about days in blogger’s lives!

Also, since you’re running anyway, go on over to Baking in a Tornado and see what the swappers have come up with for the April Secret Subject Swap Take 1.  It all goes live at 9 am Eastern time.  I’ll be in on the swap next week!

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge: Goals

I’m participating in The Getting to Know The Blogger Challenge hosted by A Little Unhinged.  I took a day off for Thanksgiving, but now today I am talking about my goals.

9)  What are your goals?

Oh look, this is me. How fitting!

A while back, a friend of mine was going through a very tough time in her life.  When addressing what was going on, she simply said this:  “I want to get back to enjoying my life, not just simply existing in it.”  How very well said.  This is something that I put in the back of my mind as I have been on my journey.  As we continue to try to build our lives back after years of school and unemployment, I’m hoping I’ll get there eventually.

I think that sometimes we need to make our own sunbeams.

My goal is to find something that I can feel good about and be successful at.  For now I’m pursuing writing and blogging.  I hope that maybe the road will lead to something that I can do for a living.  I would love to help support my family again, but maybe in a way that I find fulfilling.  Maybe someday it will be possible for me to go back to school, but for now I’m not so sure it’s in the cards for me.

I want to raise my kids to see that people who work hard and stick to it can achieve anything.  My husband has proved that this is true, but I’m still struggling with that concept.  I want them to find their niche in life that I can’t seem to find for myself.  I just want them to be happy, feel safe, and secure.  Isn’t that what we all want for our kids?

Previous Blogger Challenge Posts-This Could Be Fun:  I’m Doing The 15 Day Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge, Where I Grew Up, Favorite Childhood Memories, School, Work, Life, Friends, Family

REBLOG: If My Life Were A Movie, I’d Hire Better Writers

This is my second REBLOG weekend. This is one of my better posts. Not too old but not too new. Just right, as baby bear would say.

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

I keep thinking lately that if my life were a movie we should almost be at the point where something wonderful happens.  You know, things just seem like they are so bad and then that great thing happens that miraculously turns things around.  It of course results in a happy ending.  The “It’s always darkest before the dawn” type thing.

So obviously this is real life and although I’m sure there’s a plan for me somewhere, I don’t see it happening.  But this brought up a very good bunch of stuff for my blog.  What IF my life WERE like a movie?  What would happen?

I’d get some sort of anonymous donor all of a sudden paying to send me to school.  Then I could follow my dreams.  If this were a movie, I’d know what those dreams were…

I’d have a trainer preparing me for my first triathlon using…

View original post 524 more words

If My Life Were A Movie, I’d Hire Better Writers

If my life were a movie… there’d be great refreshments at reasonable prices.

I keep thinking lately that if my life were a movie we should almost be at the point where something wonderful happens.  You know, things just seem like they are so bad and then that great thing happens that miraculously turns things around.  It of course results in a happy ending.  The “It’s always darkest before the dawn” type thing.

So obviously this is real life and although I’m sure there’s a plan for me somewhere, I don’t see it happening.  But this brought up a very good bunch of stuff for my blog.  What IF my life WERE like a movie?  What would happen?

I’d get some sort of anonymous donor all of a sudden paying to send me to school.  Then I could follow my dreams.  If this were a movie, I’d know what those dreams were…

I’d get to go back to school with really smart fun people…

I’d have a trainer preparing me for my first triathlon using ordinary things.  I’d be weightlifting family sized cans of vegetable beef soup and full containers of cat litter. I’d be running through an obstacle course made of hula hoops, carefully arranged dog poop, empty Cheerios boxes, and leftover siding.  I’d be pulling a wagon loaded with all of the uneaten food from my house, which would be REALLY heavy (great training potential).  I’d be forced to run up and down the playground equipment at the park over and over.

Just as I’d just given up forever on finding a job and threw myself into something else (most likely the chest high mountain of laundry on the back porch), the dream job would happen to come up on the job website.  I’d decide to apply for one last job and get an interview.  They wouldn’t offer me the job at first, but something miraculous would happen and I would end up getting an even better job because I impressed someone there… because they would think I’m awesome.

We’d break out into song at the most interesting moments.  My daughter going poop in the potty would rate a huge song and dance number.  I would finally get a job interview, and there would be dancers following me as I sang all the way there about how I was going to change my life.  Dinnertime-you bet there’d be some sort of production.  And everyone would like and eat the food too.

“Myyyyyyy husband mowed the laaaaaawn!” Everything would be cause for a musical number if my life were a movie.

Somehow my schedule would miraculously allow me to do all kinds of work to prove the naysayers wrong.  I’d be out there, pounding the pavement, doing something to make everyone who ever doubted me have faith in me again.  Not sure what that would be, but I’d be proving them wrong.

My husband would be very romantic. You know, random flowers and stuff like that.  I bet he’d be conscious too, unless it was a comedy relief type of thing, because unconsciousness can be very funny.

I’d have a better wardrobe (does the HD camera also add ten pounds?)  And better hair.  Much better hair.

I have pretty cute children anyway.  I suppose they would be just as cute, and would say much of the same stuff they say in real life.  Except my daughter wouldn’t poop her pants at the most inopportune moments, and my son wouldn’t eat his boogers.

I’d be giving up my blog just about the time a famous editor would read it.  He would make great strides to try to find me and hire me to come to work for his company.  Also, my fans would rally around my house begging me to return to what inspired their life:  My blog.  Oh yes, and I would have a lot of fans.

I’d have a lightsaber.  I’d also have some sort of superpowers.  And I’d be able to do that slow motion floating and turning in the air thing like on The Matrix movies.  There’d be some sort of epic battle in my backyard.  I’d win.

It would have an awesome, though eclectic, soundtrack.

Yes my life is definitely not a movie.  If you’re willing to buy my story, however, we’ll talk.

Would my life story have the elements that Nicholas Cage looks for in a movie? Would he wonder how he wasn’t in my movie? I’m sure that 1) all of the dialogue probably would be whispered or screamed and 2) food would be served in the movie.