Theme Thursday was created by Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 to bring peace and harmony to the blogging world on Thursdays… and a place for a few of us to complain. This week’s theme is Parenting. To read other people’s takes on parenting, stay tuned immediately following this program. OR click on the link at the end of this post. Something Clever 2.0 assumes full responsibility if you are entertained by this post.
Last week’s theme was O.P.K.: Other People’s Kids. This week the theme is parenting. You don’t know how badly I wanted to entitle this post O.P.P.-Other People’s Parents. But no, instead I decided to blog about me and what an awesome *cough* parent I am.
That’s a lie. I am most likely classified among the World’s Worst Parents. The WWP, it’s kind of like WWE without all of the chair smashing. It’s because I miss stuff. Not big stuff, like forgetting an important meeting. I usually get to those. I’m talking about the little things. Little things like noticing that The Professor has claws instead of fingernails. He probably doesn’t tell me they need to be clipped because he’s hoping that he’ll turn into Wolverine, so I can’t totally take the blame for that one.
I’ve got plenty more examples to support my point, take yesterday morning for instance. I hit the snooze one too many times, spent too long on the computer looking at stuff, got in the shower late, got The Professor in the shower late, yet actually got in the car on time, got The Professor off to the sitter’s house just a little off schedule, and then drove the half hour to work. As I pulled into town I caught a glimpse of Princess Tantrum in the rearview mirror.
Oh-I had forgotten to brush her hair. And here I was congratulating myself on the fact that I got her out of the house in clothes that matched without a fight. This isn’t unusual, she hates to have her hair brushed and will find any way she can to try to get out of it, but I usually catch it before I leave the house. So I brushed her hair in the car before we went into the building. Shockingly, I had a brush in my purse. This IS unusual-I usually have all kinds of interesting stuff in there, but rarely something useful like that. I am the person who has to buy extra deodorant in case I forget to put it on or has to go buy a box of maxi pads because I don’t have any on me when Aunt Flo comes to visit.
For those who are maybe just starting to read my blog, it’s not because I’m working. It’s not because I have too many irons in the fire. It’s because I’m ADD. I have been all of my life. I also happen to be the parent of an ADD child as well as married to an ADD adult.
I’m sure my son’s teacher is ready to throw me under the school bus. She sends me little notes that I sometimes get, and sometimes I don’t get. Again, I know about the important stuff, it’s those little things. When I bring The Professor home, we have a little routine that we follow (partly for him, more for me.) He puts his coat away and then brings me his take home folder with all of his papers in it. When Dad picks up it doesn’t work as well. Yes he get the stuff out, but by the time I get home it’s spread all over the living room. Last week I found a note about having the kids bring in a little snack to eat during ITBS tests. These were three weeks ago. I also unearthed a note about bringing stamps for pen pals. I vaguely remember her mentioning something at his last IEP meeting. I guess I forgot.
Keep in mind that trying to get to our post office within the ten minute window it is open each day is challenging even when you do stay home all of the time. Now that I am working in a different town and trying to get to a place that sells stamps when I remember it is even more challenging. I even sent the teacher an email about said stamps, asking how many he needed and adding that I might be able to stop on my way to work during one of the many two hour delays we’ve had. I didn’t make it. Today I got her reply, and I told her I didn’t make it, but would try to get over to HyVee after work and get some.
After work I went to HyVee. I bought pop. I also purchased pasta. As I got on the interstate to go home I realized that I had forgotten the stamps. I wasn’t going back.
She also mentioned his glasses. Oh dear, dear *Mrs Saint-please don’t ask about the glasses. Oh the glasses…
The Professor has owned two different pairs of glasses. Add in the times that they have been completely replaced and it is more like four or five pairs. The glasses he originally had were made of porcelain or something else like it that broke when someone spoke too loudly. These are the kinds of things you get while you are on Medicaid. You can’t afford a nice pair of glasses? We’ll give you the cheapest pair ever for free and actually spend the amount of a nice pair of glasses fixing them. Grandma stepped in after the 1,927 times I had to go get either the frames replaced completely, the glasses bent back into shape, the lenses replaced because they fell out, the earpieces replaced because they had fallen off or snapped… She helped us buy a very nice supposedly indestructable pair. He broke them three times. He even had them replaced completely at one point because they were still under warranty and shouldn’t have been broken like that. Never underestimate the power of an ADD boy.
The good pair snapped in half completely the week after the warranty expired, so he resumed wearing the crappy glasses. These glasses actually have earpieces that are two different colors because that was the only way they could fix them the last time they broke.
I noticed him pushing the glasses into his face as he usually does (because apparently that is how you wear them when you are eight?) His nose looked really irritated on one side. This is because the nosepad was missing completely on that side. The next week I went to the eye doctor on my break and had the nosepad replaced as well as the glasses unbent as much as possible.
And now? We have no idea where they are. I brought them home. I brought them into the house. Where they went after that is a mystery. I can’t even blame him this time. So now my son has no glasses. Doesn’t that make me look like such a FABULOUS mom?
(Valuable Info that I need you to know: My son can see without his glasses, he has lazy eye in one eye. And yes, I will not let him go too long without them. If they don’t show up soon I’ll fork over the dough to get a new pair-when insurance permits us to do so…)
To add to all of this great parenting glory, I got a call on my phone from the school yesterday from the school. It turns out that although I had received the letter about kindergarten roundup for Princess Tantrum, I had neglected to sign her up. Luckily, they know me pretty well there by now…
While I may receive no awards for my fabulous parenting akin to a zombie (except that I don’t eat human flesh or brains-former vegetarian you know) I think I should at least be considered for a Miss Congeniality of Parenting. I’m nice, I try, and I don’t judge other people’s parenting. If nothing else, I probably make other parents feel REALLY good about their parenting.
So what kind of parent do you think you are? Are you a member of WWP like me or do you fall closer to the PPs-Pinterest Parents? Pinterest Parents are the great ones who actually do all of that crap they find on Pinterest as well as remember to brush their children’s hair before they leave the house. I merely have good intentions. To make myself feel better, I just call them PPs. Get it? PeePees? See? World’s Worst Parent!
For other tales of my fabulous parenting, read And The Mother of the Year Award Goes To…Not Me!
*Names have been changed to protect people that probably don’t want to ever be associated with me.
Go ahead, don’t be shy. Don’t walk, RUN over to Something Clever 2.0 and embrace the insanity. Tell them I sent you. On second thought, forget I said that!