Celebrating #14: The Clean Anniversary

ivory-soapThe 14th anniversary is the Ivory anniversary.  Cool.  This means we get a bar of soap?  The clean anniversary!  Or perhaps that means that we have to travel to Africa in search of an elephant’s tusk?  Or give the gift of pianos.

In case you haven’t figured it out, my husband and I have been married 14 years today.  Yeah that anniversary thing.  We had one of those last year too.

avengers lamps

These.kick.butt.

Our geekdom unites us.  Or perhaps it’s our weirdness.

Recently Evil Genius turned towards me and I saw something on his back.  It was just a sticker, but I got the giggles.
“HA HA.  When did you get a tattoo?”
EG:  “Friday night.”
EG:  “I really should do that sometime.”
Me:  “No.”
EG:  “Well then, I guess I’ll have to because nobody tells me what to do.”
Me:  “Ok fine, then no tattoos on your face.  Like a moustache tattoo.”
EG:  “Yeah… that would be bad.  I’d have to grow a moustache the rest of my life to hide my tattoo of a moustache.”
I barely heard him, because the mental image of someone with a handlebar moustache tattooed on their face was too much for my little brain to handle.  I almost hurt myself laughing.

Yep, some people are just meant to find each other.

I’m not saying it’s all fun all the time.  There are days when he is tired and grumpy and I am oversensitive about it.  I’m sure that he gets sick of my lack of housekeeping skills on a regular basis.  He understands my writing obsession about as much as I understand his gaming.

So it's not quite what he was hoping. He was hoping for the whole Iron Man experience...

Hey look, he’s Iron Man!

But somehow we just make it work.  We got some pretty darn cute kids out of the deal too.

We’re not big on the mushy stuff, though I do tell him every night I love him.  We’re not extravagant people either.  This year I’d be happy with dinner, a couple of drinks, and some sort of acknowledgement that he feels I’m worth keeping around all this time.

In honor of our special day, and Evil Genius’s twentieth class reunion, we’ll be taking some time off and leaving town this weekend.  We’ll have some time to be adults even.  Whaaaaat?  Yes this one we’re actually going to attend.  No sitting home and watching Ghost Rider 2 in my pajamas this year!  Because we are such awesome people, we’ll be killing the proverbial two birds with one stone.  Two celebrations at the same time.  Word.

This means me actually having to take some time away from the computer.  So starting tomorrow, instead of my randomness, you will be treated to a parade of insanely talented bloggers for a WHOLE WEEK!  Every weekday from Thursday through the following Friday a different person that I think is the bee’s knees will have a little something to share.  I picked each and every one of these bloggers because they are special to me in some way.

Grab some energy drinks!

Grab some energy drinks!

So get your beverage of choice and settle in to read some fabulousness the next few days!  Thursday leads off with Marcia from Menopausal Mother blogging about SQUIRRELS!

So now if you’ll excuse me, I have an anniversary to think about…

Theme Thursday: Where’s the Genie in My Bottle?

Theme ThursdayTheme Thursday.  It’s better than a litter of kittens, a box of wine, and McDonald’s french fries all put together!  Each week a theme is chosen via a very scientific method-most likely Jenn from Something Clever 2.0 pulling a piece of paper out of a hat.  Then we all get to work and come back with what we want to write about it.  No rules.  Ok, a few rules, but not TOO many for you rebels out there, because we like rebels.  This week’s theme is wishes. 

Does that sound like fun?  Why yes, it is.

When we were kids we always said that if we found a genie in a bottle we’d do the whole wishing thing the right way.  We’d wish for a million wishes instead of the three wishes that people always seemed to screw up in the stories we read!

And me with my problems with indecision, would definitely need more then three wishes!

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One of my husband’s coworkers brought this back from Italy. He went there because he is 100% born and raised Italian. I thought this was cool, it looks like something a genie would live in, does it not?

Needless to say, when I found out that this week’s theme was wishes, I was ready to jump right on that bandwagon.  I could use a few wishes.  Even more importantly, I could use a good genie!  Therefore, before the wishes, we must address the question:  What would my genie look like????

The Aladdin genie, while very funny, doesn’t really do it for me.  Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie?  No thanks.  Kazaam?  Think I’ll pass. How about an Iron Genie?  Think about it…

Make me some coffee!

Make my wishes come true!

If I really did find a genie, I would have to make sure to ask the genie if the genie bra was really that magical…  And then I would make sure that instead of three wishes, that I would be granted infinite wishes.  It would be like having my very own fairy godparents, except BETTER (because you saw my genie, right?)

So what would I use my infinite wishes on?  Oh boy… so many possibilities.

Very first and foremost, I would wish for financial security for my family for the rest of our lives.  Not rich beyond our wildest dreams, just enough so that we wouldn’t have to (barely) live paycheck to paycheck.  This worrying constantly about whether we will have enough each pay period is for the birds.

I’d wish for some of those shirtless superheroes to come hang out at my house.  I can look, I just can’t touch, right?  And they would do all the things I need done, like clean my gutters and fix my appliances.

That's really, really nice.  Now fix my dishwasher.

That’s really, really nice. Now fix my dishwasher.

I would wish for success.  I’m not talking rich and famous success.  I mean being successful at something.  Like my writing to garner a bit more readership.  Perhaps get a book published… Or to just be able to go back to school without going bankrupt would be nice.  I know, I’ll keep dreaming…

A new laptop, with infinite memory, lightning fast internet browsing, and don’t forget the port to plug right into my brain, just like my friend Starr at The Insomniac’s Dream blogged about awhile back when we were doing “Useful Inventions” as our theme.  Oh yes, and no overheating issues, so I could actually be online for more than a little bit at a time!

I would wish for transporter technology so that we could go visit our friends and family in an instant.  Think about it-you’re getting married in Florida?  No big deal, I’ll just beam right down there.  Then I could meet Menopausal Mother for a drink in her backyard! Aw heck, I could do that every weekend!

Meno Mom backyard

Can’t you picture me having a pina colada here?

I’d wish for a better brain.  One that works regularly and doesn’t have holes in it like mine does.  Or maybe I just need to wish for some plugs for the holes!

I would wish for more empathy in the world.  And common sense.  Gosh, wouldn’t that be lovely?

How about a faucet that distributes a little bit of vino? Of course you’d think that if my genie came out of a wine bottle that would be a no-brainer…

I would wish for more talent in the kitchen.  Right now I can’t get an ounce of inventiveness (outside of what Amy at Funny is Family dishes up for her super duper Crockpot Thursdays there’s very little to add to my repertoire these days.)

cat cora

How I feel in the kitchen on a good day…

Bork bork bork!

What’s more realistic.  Bork bork bork!

I would wish for a cure, or at least a better understanding of autism.

Of course I’d wish for Calorie free desserts that taste like the real thing…

And a good night’s sleep, or two, or ten.  Heck it’s infinite wishes, right?

Most importantly, I’d wish for happiness for my children, for them to be able to attain their hopes and dreams, and eventual success.

Now dammit, it’s in my head and I have to play it…

Thought this looked like fun?  Want to participate in a future Theme Thursday?  The theme is listed for the following week in each week’s Theme Thursday post.  See what we’ve got going on, write to your little heart’s content, then come back and link er up.  In the meantime, please read some of this week’s posts to get some inspiration, because we are always inspiring, at least 92% of the time…

No I meant without the suits.  I mean they'd be wearing clothes.  I mean, oh never mind...

Oh boys, fighting over me are we?  This could happen, except they’d be without the suits. I mean they’d be wearing clothes. I mean, oh never mind…

FTSF: A Day in My So-Called Life

This is my first attempt to do Finish the Sentence Friday.  I always want to join in, but I end up being either already involved with something else or am just a day late and a dollar short.  Not this time.  I decided it was about time I got my act together and just DID IT!

Today’s sentence was “A Typical Day in my House looks like”:

There are not enough words to accurately describe what a normal day looks like in the Wiser-Genius household.  So instead let me take you on a pictoral journey of sorts…

legos

Watch your feet. Every day is lego armageddon here.

I love this picture and I want to use it everywhere...

There is dress up, but not in the way you’re thinking…

Yes, he built it himself, because that's what he does.

Superhero suits are being developed and built.  Yes, he built it himself, because that’s what he does.

The Professor showing me some of the cool stuff in the "Lego Star Wars Visual Dictionary".

Books are read.  Many, many books.

We cook, usually healthier fare than this but I don't always take good pictures.

We cook, usually healthier fare than this but I don’t always take good pictures.

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There is always a need to extricate the dog from something at some point during the day.

Occasionally we have some ideas.

Occasionally we even have some ideas.

Elaborate crafts are created (this is a homemade zamboni.)

Elaborate crafts are created (this is a homemade zamboni.)

We have fun just hanging out.

We have fun just hanging out.

There is a lot of love.

And there is always a lot of love.

My family may seem a little unusual compared to others, but the basic elements of a good family are all there.  And that is what matters most.  I hope you enjoyed the tour through a typical day at my house.  Don’t be scared, please come back!

Now don’t walk, RUN to Can I Get A Bottle of Whine With My Morning Quiet Time? and/or Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyholic and/or Dawn’s Disaster  and/or Mommy for Real (isn’t it great to have choices?) to read all of the other posts about days in blogger’s lives!

Also, since you’re running anyway, go on over to Baking in a Tornado and see what the swappers have come up with for the April Secret Subject Swap Take 1.  It all goes live at 9 am Eastern time.  I’ll be in on the swap next week!

Theme Thursday: Dear Self At Sixteen-Get A Life!

Theme ThursdayTheme Thursday is a time for people to rejoice.  It is that special time of the week where the heavens open up and angels sing because the most awesome writers in the world get together and write about a common theme.   Today’s topic is “Write a letter to your sixteen year old self.” 

Four out of five dentists recommend Theme Thursday.

Oops, wrong letter.

Oops, wrong letter.

Dear Self at Sixteen:

First of all, congratulations.  If you are reading this then you have survived to adulthood, and into your late 30s even.  I’m writing to offer you some advice.  Listen up, I’m not as nice now as I was when I was your age.  I mean I’m still pretty nice, I’m just a little wiser.  Someday you’ll have a blog with that word in the title.  Don’t get too excited, it’s not like it sounds.

So you’ve recently moved to Iowa.  You left the sunny coast of Florida, and you feel like you left your whole life behind.  Believe it or not your life is not over.  The weather (and maybe some of the people) may be much nicer down there but there are some things that are way better here.  For example, no hurricanes.  It’s all good.  You won’t realize how nice the Midwest is until you are much older, and then you’ll learn to appreciate it.

That hair.  My what big hair you have.  Big hair does not equate coolness.  Wait until the Twenty Teens, you’ll look back on that hair and wonder what the hell you were thinking.  Get some bangs cut, pull it back and get it out of your face.  Speaking of your appearance, you are not fat, and certainly not close to being fluffy (except maybe the hair).  The sad thing is that the ideal that our society idolizes is only going to get much more unrealistic.  Do what feels right-walk, do some exercise, but don’t take it to extremes.  You’re only setting yourself up-come to find out no matter how thin you get you won’t think it’s thin enough.  It’s called body dysmorphia, and guess what-you have it.

Oh my, what big hair you have.

They told me I’d have hair like Jon Bon Jovi.  Why did I listen????

While we’re on the subject of appearance, quit acting stupid.  Stop pretending to be normal.  You’re not, and that’s ok.  You can recite The Empire Strikes Back word for word, can read a whole book in one day, and have an undying love for all things geeky.  Don’t stop being yourself just because you’ve moved to corn country and feel you have to act a certain way to fit in.  The normal people are not the people you want to hang out with anyway.  You will find friends who appreciate the same kinds of things that you do, just give it time.

And speaking of being stupid, ditch the boyfriend.  Cultivate your friendships instead.  The friendships will last, the boyfriend will not.  There are far far worse things than being alone, and the friends will not go away.  Besides, the boyfriend is just a stupid guy who has a lot of growing up to do, as are all teenage guys.  Trust me on this one.  You’ll know love on down the road, this is not it.  You’ll have your heart broken more than once, and even when you find the one, it will not be perfect.

Almond kids

THIS is love.

Don’t listen to or waste time on toxic people.  They don’t know anything.  Don’t let others pee on your dreams.  Take some time to figure out what you want to do.  Don’t settle for anything less.  Do you want to write?  Then write.  Do you want to teach in early childhood?  Don’t let other people try to discourage you, especially those who tell you things like “You can’t ever teach kids, you don’t hold your pencil right.”  The last time I checked, holding your pencil one way or another does not dictate where you will go in life.  Do you want to take French AND Spanish your Senior year?  Don’t let that guidance counselor sell you short by telling you that you’ll get confused and get talked into taking Foods.  Do you want to go to the college that won’t offer huge scholarships and grants to you?  Figure out some way to get there.  Find ways to succeed.  Don’t let other people try to stop you.

Quit being afraid in general.  The world does not need more Camerons.  They need more Ferrises.  They also need more people that can tell you what the plural of Ferris actually is.  He’s right you know-Life does move pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you might miss it.  When you are in your 30s and have kids, you’ll know what I’m referring to.  You’ll even write a blog post about it.

Life is not easy.  It’s also not fair.  There’s no perfect.  Even people who seem perfect or have the perfect relationship, trust me, it’s all a lie.  Things will be good and things will be bad.  Often there will not be an in between.  Life should resemble a roller coaster more than it should seem like a sidewalk.  And you know what?  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Sincerely,

Your 38 and almost 11/12ths year old self

Not too shabby for approaching 40...

Not too shabby for approaching 40…

Don’t hesitate to take a look at what other people wrote to themselves.  Join us at the link up on Something Clever 2.0 for the other Theme Thursday posts. And don’t forget to brush your teeth (as recommended by those four dentists…duh).

Wordless Wednesday: LOVE

LOVE

LOVE

Here’s another blast from my past.  The Professor and The Princess when he was littler and she was just teeny.  It’s hard to believe that she was this little!  What I love most about this picture is how she is looking at her big brother like he is the coolest person on the planet.  She still thinks he is pretty neat, but mainly because he’ll do pretty much whatever she tells him!

I Am “Loded”

This post brought to you late by HP.  The Printers that forget stuff.

I am loved.  Every day I am lavished with gifts.  Not just any gifts, handmade gifts.  Like this one:

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It’s a vase of flowers.  Sparkly pipe cleaners with tiny little flower paper punches that she punched out of construction paper.  I should have been suspicious when she asked me punch holes in the middle of the flower punches.  She then snuck away and returned with this mug that she stole from me.  First she asked me to close me eyes, and then she yelled “SURPRISE!”  Then she told me where I needed to display it.  The whole world needs to see her art, you know.

My daughter could probably open her own Etsy shop.  The kid’s got skills.  At the rate I’m going, she may have to open one to help support us.

She creates non stop many days.  She does art from the time she is done cuddling with me on the couch until I tell her “That’s enough art for the day!”

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This one cracks me up.  It makes me think of a Radiohead performance on SNL.  The band is playing and there’s a guy sticking wires in a little box.  Similar?  I think so.  And it’s all mine, sitting right next to my spot on the couch.

She reminds me all the time of why she makes these things for me.  She sings the song from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood “Making something is one way to say… I love you.”  She also tells me-all the time, and constantly asks for hugs and kisses.

And there are pictures.  I wrote awhile back about how there is no more room in my house for all of the things that she makes.  She used to draw two tiny pictures on a piece of paper and present it to me.  “Oh I love it, but can’t you add more?”  She would get mad at me and stomp off.  Apparently I was messing with her creativity.  It must have gotten through, because she’s drawing much more on her pictures now.  I would display some, but as usual, my printer thinks it’s missing something.  Today is the scanner.  Who knows what tomorrow?

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The dry erase board helped a little with the art pile up, but we’re never allowed to erase it.  I take pictures from time to time.  This particular one is an oldie but a goodie from this past summer.

For Christmas Grandma presented both kids with a big box of stuff.  The Professor received a box of science stuff so he can get to work on solving our world energy crisis.  She received an art box full of art products in addition to a big bag of recycled materials to use it with.  She was thrilled.  She’s a funny girl.

One of her recent creations was made partly with stickers from the box, partly from a picture frame kit that I had picked up at Goodwill.  Oh, and scotch tape.  She was giddy when she presented this to me along with two others.

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Me:  “You ‘lode’ me?”
Princess Artistic:  “No I LOVE you.  I don’t have any ‘v’s.”

Alright, I’ll take it.  That way in a few years when she starts to loathe me I have this among many other reminders of that sweet messy haired girl who used to “lode” me.

I’ve Been Married 4745 Days: How Did We Do That?

TV relationship most like ours. But my husband is much smarter than Tim Taylor.

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.” -Albert Einstein

We’ve been together awhile.  Every so often I want my husband to know that I still like him.  I actually wrote him an appreciation letter the other day.  It wasn’t a love letter, though I did tell him I loved him a few times in it.  It was just more me letting him know how much I appreciate him.

Evil Genius and I will be married for thirteen years today.  As I’ve said before, according to tradition it’s the lace anniversary.  Whatever.  I don’t need doilies.  We’re still happily married.  I’m not saying it’s been easy.  The last few years have been particularly challenging for us due to all kinds of weird work situations, his return to school and subsequent graduation, and difficult children.  Lately he has become an excellent zombie due to working long hours, two hours a day on the road for work in addition to those long hours, and a brain full of information and ideas that he can’t ignore.  Meanwhile, I am climbing the walls because I’m home all day and sleep until 7 am.  Nonetheless, I still love him to pieces.  Supposedly he loves me, but it’s hard to show it when you are too tired to move or disseminate information.

How will we be celebrating our anniversary?  We went out for a bit the other night.  Just the two of us without any children.  He’s working today, tonight we’ll probably cook something for dinner and hang out.  And hopefully he’ll be able to stay conscious.

Just in a show of appreciation for us, I think the dog tried to chew a red rubbermaid lid in the shape of a heart.  I’m going with that and ignoring the 17 other things he chewed up.

I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to write today.  In honor of our anniversary, here’s some random thoughts about our relationship:

You really CAN meet someone at a bar.  Believe me, I tried other venues.

If we didn’t have each other, I’d never know where I’d seen an actor/actress before and he would never know what their name is.

We’re both ADD, but man does it manifest itself in very different ways.

We’re an interesting couple. Here’s another one of our favorite TV couples. Who doesn’t love Monica and Chandler. They’re dysfunctional like us, I think that’s why I like them.

We both think the same things when we see something, but he usually says it first, and better than I thought it.  I tell him to stop.

Opposites can attract, but you have to some similar interests and values.  Our personalities are quite different, but we both have an outrageous sense of humor, love movies and music, and appreciate good food.  We don’t always want to watch the same movies, or eat the same kind of food, but we try to be flexible.

We’re not perfect.  Noooooooooooooo….  I wish he would not be so distracted and he wishes I would relax a little.  Ok, a lot.

He reacts to emotional moments in movies.  I’m dead inside when it comes to that, but I cry easily at real life…

“You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky, without you, I dwell in darkness…” Are you puking yet? Don’t worry, our relationship is NOT like that.

I wish football would go on strike.  He wishes it was year round.

We both think chocolate is one of the food groups.

He thinks pain is weakness leaving the body, I am a complete and total wuss.  Once he had to hold me down and pull a giant splinter out of me because I was too weenieish to take it out myself.

I guess I’m still a romantic at heart. I love watching these two in the Iron Man movies. It works for them, probably because these two people are so full of themselves in real life…

So Happy Anniversary to my husband.  I hope he keeps me around for another one.

“All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” -Charles M Schulz