Touring the World One Word At A Time

If I only could write something...

If I only could write something…

Struggling to write something amusing is tough when you’ve got the blues, yo.

I’ve been dealing with a major depressive episode for months.  It’s not going away, it’s not getting better, and there are some days when I pretty much hate myself.  And blah blah blah.

But enough about me.  I got a chance to tour the world, and I think it’s pretty cool.

Marcia from Menopausal Mother tagged me in this fun little blogging game.  So maybe I DO have to tell a little more about me.  I had to answer these four simple questions and then choose three bloggers I love who will hopefully jump in and also answer the four questions and tag three bloggers they love and things of that nature.

If you’re a blogger, you know that there is no such thing as four simple questions…

1.  What am I working on?

Trying to find material that is interesting, relevant, and does not simply contain the words fart, butt, pee, poop… you see where this is going.  I live with two elementary schoolers who think that stuff is to die for.  Kids, they’re funny creatures, except when they’re not.

Currently I am working on getting to bed before 2 am most nights.  So far I am not successful.  I also might get published in something sometime soon… stay tuned for that.

2.  How does my work differ from others of its genre?

I am a mom who blogs, but I don’t feel that I really fall under the mommy blogger category.  I have a child who has some special needs (ADD, sensory issues, other stuff that may never be diagnosed), but I don’t really belong in that category either.  I do believe that we geek moms who like NASCAR are a rather unique social subgroup, don’t you?

The Sadder But Wiser Girl as Tie-Dye Girl!  Saving the world from dullness, one color at a time.

Yeah I’m unique all right…

In other words, I don’t really belong anywhere, right?  Who’s with me?  Bloggers With No Niche, UNITE!

(I really like acronyms.  That’s totally a thing.)

3.  Why do I write what I do?

I originally started blogging as a way to write down my thoughts.  The thoughts weren’t so nice at first.  But as time went on I started writing with my own warped sense of humor.  And my humor is definitely not one size fits all, as I rediscover daily whenever I share something on Facebook.

Like this picture.  I was rolling, dying when I saw this.  I shared it on Facebook. Crickets. Do you get it?????

Like this picture. I was rolling, dying when I saw this. I shared it on Facebook. Crickets. Do you get it????? Source unknown

So when I actually do write, I do it because something motivated me to write, or because someone made me do it.  You know who you are.  😉  I really do hope to get to a point where I will be able to write regularly again.  Because no brains.

4.  How does your writing process work?

I get an idea.  I find my phone.  I put that idea on the notes on my phone.  I forget I have an app for that.  Then I remember I have an app for that, and I stare at something I wrote and cannot fathom for the life of me what that was.

So my process isn’t exactly yielding a lot of product right now.  Maybe someday…

sweet baboo

Who do I love?

Three bloggers that I love… This part was so hard because there are so many blogs that I love.  I wanted to choose three from that long list that are not as well known writers that I think deserve some extra attention from all of the famous people that I’m sure are going to come read this.

All The Everydays (the blog formerly known as Mama Schmama).  Jean and I share a similar sense of humor, not to mention that she is one of the nicest people on the planet.  I do really think that we are long lost sisters.  She claims that she is a stay-at-home mom and a former teacher in the about section of her blog,but I can tell you that as a mom you are also a teacher all day long every day.  She’s not fooling anyone!  🙂  Please go over and check her out!

Sarah’s Brand New Chapter The one and only Miss Sarah Balding is a fellow Sarah, librarian, and geek.  She is definitely on the list of bloggers I want to meet someday!  I love her writing and feel that if we lived closer to each other, we’d hang out regularly.  Maybe even at the library.  Stop over, say hi, and read some of her awesomeness!

The Regular Guy NYC I don’t live anywhere near NYC, but I can live vicariously through Phil.  He visits some great places to eat, and he always posts stuff that makes me giggle.  If you live in the area, or even if you don’t, he deserves a peek or two!

So that’s all she wrote.  Really, that’s all I wrote!

 

It’s Spandex Time!

Those of you who know me well know that Menopausal Mother and I are blogging buddies.  A couple of weeks ago I took over her blog in quite villainous fashion.  In the past she and I have done guest posts for each other.  And quite often we stay up later than we should chatting on Facebook into the wee hours of the morning.

And now she’s going to rock the publishing world!

That’s right, my friend Marcia is going to have her very own book!  I am all verklempt, I feel like a proud auntie or something.  And I know that you will want to get your hot little hands on a copy all your own!  For more details about the book “Who Stole My Spandex? Midlife Musings From A Middle-Aged MILF” you can visit her author site http://www.marciakesterdoyle.com and sign up for news of the official release here: http://bit.ly/1hPWQsO

And of course you can always visit her blog at http://www.menopausalmom.com

Flyer4Who Stole My Spandex? Midlife Musings from a Middle-Aged MILF…is a humorous collection of stories based on Marcia Kester Doyle’s hilariously popular blog, Menopausal Mother. Take a ride on the midlife wild side with a wacky journey through menopausal pitfalls, raising a family in a madhouse, maintaining a spandex-worthy booty, and all points in between! Nothing is off limits!

The collection includes laugh-out-loud brain candy, such as “9 Signs You Might Be a MILF,” “How to Annoy Your Children,” “You Might Be Menopausal If…,” and “Menopausal Cuckoo,” along with some of her newer tales of midlife mayhem. With a dash of wit and a heavy dose of humor, this is the greatest therapy ever offered in book form…and cheaper than any therapist’s bill!
So hie thee over to Marcia’s page and say hello and congratulations!  😀

I’m Taking Over

MWAH HA HA…

In case you didn’t know, that was my evil laugh.

I’ve been a bit obsessed over superheroes and supervillains lately due to my recent venture out of my own little world to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  Which was nothing less than AMAZING.

Keep in mind that I don’t get out much, so there’s that…

Also, in my spare time, I stole a plane and flew down to Florida so I could hijack my friend’s blog.  Oh yes, in true supervillain fashion I’m holding Menopausal Mother hostage and I’m not giving it back until she asks me really, really nicely.  And maybe sends me some rum cake.  I hear she makes the best rum cake in the world.

I know supervillains don’t ask politely, just consider me a very friendly one.  Please come over and say hi, and check out some of Marcia’s writing while you’re there!

To come over and read my guest post, click HERE.

Fear me, I have minions... and I command thee to visit me at MENOPAUSAL MOTHER!!!!!

Fear me, I have minions… and I command thee to visit me at MENOPAUSAL MOTHER!!!!!

 

 

Weekly Wrap-Up: The Lack of Funny Search Terms Edition

chex catWhere was I this week?  NOT in a box of Chex!  HA HA!

Monday The Road to Hell Is Paved With Sharpened #2 Pencils  My first post in awhile at The Epistolarians where I rant about school supply lists.  One major error occurred here-I have the wrong address in the pic I made!  Oops!

Tuesday  Twisted Mixtape Tuesday:  Movie Music  Do you know a song or two or more that you can’t help but associate with the movie?  I know a bit about that!

Wednesday  Go Ahead, Roll It Over  I guest posted at Menopausal Mother for her Wacky Wednesday Writers series.

Thursday  Priceless Mom Moments:  It’s Okay to Surrender to Big Sparkly Shoes  I’m never sure if my moments are more priceless or worthless.  Click on the link to see what the heck I’m talking about!

Friday  The Totally Tubular Story of Tie-Dye Girl and Her Amazing Rubber Chicken It’s that Secret Subject Swap again.  Hmmm… Sooner or later they are going to have to learn how to keep me out of this!

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

I am sad to report that there really aren’t any that aren’t more funny than they are disturbing.  It’s a sad day!

Next Week

Make sure you go to Moms Who Write and Blog to see the link to our Laugh Til You Pee Your Pants Halloween Party! 

Monday-I make my debut on Raised on the Radio!

Tuesday-Twisted Mixtape Tuesday:  Uncomfortable songs.  I’m so sad I can’t find the clip of JD from Scrubs when he says “Uncomfortable”.  It would be so perfect for this!

Wednesday and/or Thursday-I hope to share my story of the week I went away!

Friday-Fly on the Wall.  Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

It’s another week of madness at the library (lots of programming stuff going on), so anything I post will be extra special!  I hope your week is filled with nothing but goodness and fun!

Mmmmmm.... leg...

Mmmmmm…. leg…

What Day Is It? Wacky Wednesday of Course!

As I continue to play hopscotch around the internet, please join me for Wacky Wednesday Writers at Menopausal Mother!  Do you ever keep score when it comes to marriage?  Do you or your husband hope to acquire niceness points that can be turned in at a future time?  Then this post may be for you!

just roll it overAnd pssssst… want a little giggle?  You can also see what song lyrics I heard incorrectly over at Raised on the Radio.  Go ahead and laugh at me after reading this.  Keep in mind that I was three or four at the time.  I just never realized it until I was an adult…  Click on the image below to get there.

lighthouse

Theme Thursday: Where’s the Genie in My Bottle?

Theme ThursdayTheme Thursday.  It’s better than a litter of kittens, a box of wine, and McDonald’s french fries all put together!  Each week a theme is chosen via a very scientific method-most likely Jenn from Something Clever 2.0 pulling a piece of paper out of a hat.  Then we all get to work and come back with what we want to write about it.  No rules.  Ok, a few rules, but not TOO many for you rebels out there, because we like rebels.  This week’s theme is wishes. 

Does that sound like fun?  Why yes, it is.

When we were kids we always said that if we found a genie in a bottle we’d do the whole wishing thing the right way.  We’d wish for a million wishes instead of the three wishes that people always seemed to screw up in the stories we read!

And me with my problems with indecision, would definitely need more then three wishes!

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One of my husband’s coworkers brought this back from Italy. He went there because he is 100% born and raised Italian. I thought this was cool, it looks like something a genie would live in, does it not?

Needless to say, when I found out that this week’s theme was wishes, I was ready to jump right on that bandwagon.  I could use a few wishes.  Even more importantly, I could use a good genie!  Therefore, before the wishes, we must address the question:  What would my genie look like????

The Aladdin genie, while very funny, doesn’t really do it for me.  Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie?  No thanks.  Kazaam?  Think I’ll pass. How about an Iron Genie?  Think about it…

Make me some coffee!

Make my wishes come true!

If I really did find a genie, I would have to make sure to ask the genie if the genie bra was really that magical…  And then I would make sure that instead of three wishes, that I would be granted infinite wishes.  It would be like having my very own fairy godparents, except BETTER (because you saw my genie, right?)

So what would I use my infinite wishes on?  Oh boy… so many possibilities.

Very first and foremost, I would wish for financial security for my family for the rest of our lives.  Not rich beyond our wildest dreams, just enough so that we wouldn’t have to (barely) live paycheck to paycheck.  This worrying constantly about whether we will have enough each pay period is for the birds.

I’d wish for some of those shirtless superheroes to come hang out at my house.  I can look, I just can’t touch, right?  And they would do all the things I need done, like clean my gutters and fix my appliances.

That's really, really nice.  Now fix my dishwasher.

That’s really, really nice. Now fix my dishwasher.

I would wish for success.  I’m not talking rich and famous success.  I mean being successful at something.  Like my writing to garner a bit more readership.  Perhaps get a book published… Or to just be able to go back to school without going bankrupt would be nice.  I know, I’ll keep dreaming…

A new laptop, with infinite memory, lightning fast internet browsing, and don’t forget the port to plug right into my brain, just like my friend Starr at The Insomniac’s Dream blogged about awhile back when we were doing “Useful Inventions” as our theme.  Oh yes, and no overheating issues, so I could actually be online for more than a little bit at a time!

I would wish for transporter technology so that we could go visit our friends and family in an instant.  Think about it-you’re getting married in Florida?  No big deal, I’ll just beam right down there.  Then I could meet Menopausal Mother for a drink in her backyard! Aw heck, I could do that every weekend!

Meno Mom backyard

Can’t you picture me having a pina colada here?

I’d wish for a better brain.  One that works regularly and doesn’t have holes in it like mine does.  Or maybe I just need to wish for some plugs for the holes!

I would wish for more empathy in the world.  And common sense.  Gosh, wouldn’t that be lovely?

How about a faucet that distributes a little bit of vino? Of course you’d think that if my genie came out of a wine bottle that would be a no-brainer…

I would wish for more talent in the kitchen.  Right now I can’t get an ounce of inventiveness (outside of what Amy at Funny is Family dishes up for her super duper Crockpot Thursdays there’s very little to add to my repertoire these days.)

cat cora

How I feel in the kitchen on a good day…

Bork bork bork!

What’s more realistic.  Bork bork bork!

I would wish for a cure, or at least a better understanding of autism.

Of course I’d wish for Calorie free desserts that taste like the real thing…

And a good night’s sleep, or two, or ten.  Heck it’s infinite wishes, right?

Most importantly, I’d wish for happiness for my children, for them to be able to attain their hopes and dreams, and eventual success.

Now dammit, it’s in my head and I have to play it…

Thought this looked like fun?  Want to participate in a future Theme Thursday?  The theme is listed for the following week in each week’s Theme Thursday post.  See what we’ve got going on, write to your little heart’s content, then come back and link er up.  In the meantime, please read some of this week’s posts to get some inspiration, because we are always inspiring, at least 92% of the time…

No I meant without the suits.  I mean they'd be wearing clothes.  I mean, oh never mind...

Oh boys, fighting over me are we?  This could happen, except they’d be without the suits. I mean they’d be wearing clothes. I mean, oh never mind…

Cleavage and Kilts

Welcome to my Wonderful Week of Guest Bloggers!  I needed some well deserved time off from blogging to recharge my brain and deal with some issues that have come up.  I wanted to reserve the very first spot for Menopausal Mother.  She is one of my very favorite bloggers and we are also good friends!  Facebook actually decided that it would send friend requests on behalf of people, and apparently the powers that be have excellent judgement in thinking we could be great friends!  Anyone who would happen to witness some of our Facebook chat conversations would probably either shake their head in disbelief, laugh hysterically, or call the mental health professionals to take us away to the funny farm!  If we ever got together in real life, the world may very well never be the same!  Marcia Doyle blogs under the pseudonym Menopausal Mother.  Here is a little bit about her blog:Menopausal Mother’s blog is the musings on the good, the bad and the ugly side of menopausal mayhem. She feels like a thirty-something woman trapped inside the body of a middle-aged, menopausal mama. Laughter is her best defense against the aging process. If you like off-the-wall humor, then be sure to visit this hostess of the nut house at  http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com

    I’ll admit it. I’m a renaissance geek. When the Ren-Fest comes to town every year, I don my diva princess gown and dust off the pirate costumes and kilts. The Hubs is not as enthusiastic about going, but after several yards of ale, he gets right into character and joins the pub sing. If you’ve ever wanted to step into a time travel machine and be transported back to the renaissance era, this is the festival for you. If you like cleavage and kilts, drinking and debauchery, you’ll want to pack your corset and bloomers and move right into their encampment.
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Diva princess enjoying a naughty libation.
    There is nothing more entertaining to me than seeing the Hubs in a manly pirate costume, smuggling his bottle of rum in a Hello Kitty backpack when he enters the festival.
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Who wants rum? Meow!
   There’s never a dull moment at these yearly events, because you never know what to expect. First of all, you have to prepare yourself for the privies, because you may encounter this:
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Not a fun place to be at the end of the day when it’s 80 degrees outside.

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Poop ladies on patrol!
     After seeing THAT, you’ll need a libation.
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Did they really have frozen mojitos back in the renaissance days?
     After drinking a few of those, you might start seeing this:
MM Guest Blog Pix
There’s plenty of things to see and do at the renaissance festival: jousting, mud shows, ax throwing, fairies, men in tights, armored warriors, toothless people performing comedy acts and more fairy-dusted cleavage than a Playboy magazine.
     If you are calorie conscious, you’d better skip the Ren-Fest and stick to your treadmill. It wouldn’t be a renaissance festival without the traditional turkey legs, corn on the cob and deep fried EVERYTHING.
    When the sun starts to set on the land of Lords and Ladies, the tipsier patrons stumble out of the festival, discard their alter egos and return to 2013. I’m always a little sad when the troupe packs up their tents and leaves town after their six week stint.
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This guy REALLY stepped out of his time warp comfort zone!
     If a renaissance festival ever comes to your town, dust off that Halloween princess dress, show off some cleavage and enjoy a bit of debauchery. Huzzah!