The Snowmaggedon That Wasn’t, and Other Unfortunate Events

They told us to expect feet of snow...

They told us to expect feet of snow…

They called it “Snowmaggedon”.  They told us to batten down the hatches.  We were going to get feet of snow.  Travel would be impossible.  We were all going to die.  For someone like me who only appreciates the first snow of the year and the potential to reenact Calvin and Hobbes “Snowman House of Horrors” when we have large amount of snow, I wasn’t looking forward to it.  Not only was I not gleefully anticipating the snow, I was fretting about the fact that this was the first year that I’ve had to drive to make it to work in snow AND figure out childcare arrangements for a kid in a long time.

But let’s back up a minute to what happened BEFORE the storm.  A storm of a different kind.  We had a series of unfortunate events that made me look like a total blithering idiot.

We had a snafu with my phone the day before the alleged storm.  Two days in a row, the sitter had tried to contact me and strange things had happened.  The first day I had not plugged the charger into the portal on my phone in all the way, so it shut off.  I discovered this that morning as I was getting ready to leave.  I grabbed it and plugged it into my car and let it charge, figuring I’d turn it on after it had a little juice, because it was deader than a doornail.  When we arrived, she asked me if we had got her message.  I felt so bad.  It was nothing at the time-her son had been sick and she was on alert just in case she had to cancel (like if he spiked a fever or got worse).  I went to work, and turned on the phone with a partial charge to see her message-she had texted me.  I meant to text her back and tell her that it had been an isolated weird thing, that I almost always get texts and that was the best way to reach me.  I must have started the message three times when I was on my break, but kept getting interrupted by phone calls.

The next morning, the day of the supposed superstorm, we arrived at her house and there was no one there.

(To clarify things, this time my phone was on…)

So here we were, 40 minutes before I had to be at work a half hour away, with two confused kids.  The Professor was freaking out-no so much because his routine had changed, but because he didn’t get to eat a second breakfast at the sitter’s house.  Princess Difficult was mad because we were in the car and not going anywhere.  After all, it was her fourth day of being the Shining Star at school and she was missing out on important time where everyone is focused on her!  There was whining and complaining and crying.  I pulled back into my driveway, turned around and told them sternly:  “No one is getting out of the car.  Everyone is going to be quiet while I try to FIGURE THIS OUT!!!!!”

And then there was silence.  Thank you.

I began the work as only an expert in miscommunication can do effectively:  1)  I texted my husband and asked him if she said anything the night before.  No.  2) I scrolled through my missed calls and found out that I was never informed by my phone of this missed call or message.  Stupid phone.  I am still not 100% sure of what happened, but obviously her son was pretty sick.  3)  I called work, explained what happened, and told them I would be in as soon as possible.  4) I emailed the school, and let them know that my son would be coming to and fro on a different bus.  5)  I texted the sitter, telling her I hoped everything was ok with her poor kid, and that texting really is the best way to get a hold of me.  FINALLY, I went in, got both of the kids a waffle, and we got to the school, parked,  and waited until The Professor could be dropped off.

Meanwhile, while I was panicking over this, everyone else was panicking over the giant storm coming to kill us all.

Ohhhhh nooooo... they're coming for us...

Ohhhhh nooooo… they’re coming for us…

The Professor went to the middle school to wait for his bus at 8 am sharp, the earliest time he could be dropped off.  The Princess and I went to preschool.  We were there a whole 3 and a half hours.  This was because the monster storm scared every school into closing early.  Our school, one that rarely closes early, rarely delays,  and rarely cancels decided to let the kids out at 1:15.  Since I have to take a break anyway and have to be home not long after that, I left at noon.  Besides, I’m scared of driving in snow.  When you drive a car into a ravine when you are young and total it in snowy weather, you tend to be a BIT leery of such weather.  But that’s another future post…

So we rushed home.  Princess Difficult was OBVIOUSLY in need of a nap-she was pretty impossible to deal with. I made her lay down on the couch and she slept for a very long time.  The Professor came home and is even quiet for a change (whispering is not one of his strong suits.)

Meanwhile, I kept looking outside the living room window, waiting for this massive snowfall to start.  It was supposed to come so fast and so suddenly that people would be stranded and not able to go anywhere.  I worried about Evil Genius getting home.  I worried about losing power.  I worried about having enough caffeine to get me through the next few days that we would be stranded.

There was not a flake.  I was getting mad at the weather.

Or something like that...

Or something like that…

Evil Genius came home around 4 pm.  Still no snow.  I kept checking.  Finally at almost 6 pm a gentle little snow shower started.  Not too terrible, just some snow.  Really?  You got us all worked up for this?  Surely some schools around the area are feeling REALLY stupid.

I should have listened to the meteorologist.  One of the children in the preschool has a father that works for the National Weather Service.  He had told me earlier in the week that he thought it wasn’t the big deal they were making out of it…  That night on the news, the weather guy seemed almost disappointed.  Crestfallen, he says “We have some light snow falling around the metro area.”

Yet the schools continued to be fooled.  They all delayed the next morning, compounding things for everyone.  Maybe it was a little tricky, but it really wasn’t what the soothsayers had foretold.

I’m not a big fan of winter, but COME ON!  Don’t tease us with tales of killer snow.

Another kind of killer...

Another kind of killer…