Weekly Wrap-Up: The Hurry Up and Get It Done So I Can Travel Edition

Funny-Happy-Saturday-GraphicI have company at the moment (my teenaged nephew has come up for a few days), and am trying to get packed to leave for a few days… so this is short and sweet.  Here’s what I did this last week.

Monday  Character Assassination Carousel: Bears on Wheels  Ever dislike a book that your kids LOVE!  Hence the Character Assassination Carousel, where folks take down books that they love to not love.  I had my turn this week.

Tuesday  Twisted Mixtape Tuesday Bathtub Time Machine:  The 70s!  My favorite tunes from the decade.

Wednesday  Wordless Wednesday: Imagination, Terry Cloth Style  My kids+towels=good imaginative fun.

Thursday  Theme Thursday:  I Wanna Rock (But Sadly Have Had Few Opportunities To Do So)  I’ve been to very few concerts in my day because I’m not cool.

Friday June 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Neck Boob Edition  Do you know what neck boobs are?  Apparently I have them…

Neck boobs.  You saw them here first.

Neck boobs. You saw them here first.

Things I Loved This Week

Interview Your Kids, Part I and Interview Your Kids, Part IIParenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures My friend Jenn, the Theme Thursday Jenn, was crappified for the whole world to see on part I.  I love it when parents interview kids-their answers are so funny!  I did the interview in part II, however my kids’ answers weren’t all that funny, except that The Princess said the meaning of life was flowers.  She should remind Evil Genius of that when he wants to do something nice for me…

Oh, and this happened on Twitter.  I about peed my pants.

Crappy Pictures

I think it’s one of the best things ever-Crappy Pictures is following me! (And Keith is pretty cool too, I don’t want him to feel left out…)

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

Ursula Sea Witch Cupcakes I’m not sure what would be scarier, these or the zombie batman cupcakes from last week’s search terms!

Monte Python have fun storming the castle  1) MonTY Python 2) That’s from The Princess Bride, people!

Buy fake fireplace without fire  It’s easier to carry that way because you won’t burn your hands.

blogs about peeing pants  Because that’s apparently ALL my blog is about.

cats washing machine Are the cats washing the machine or is it a machine that washes cats?

Eating chocolate makes me have to poop  Are you sure you’re eating chocolate and not chocolate ex-lax?  Just sayin…

Next Week

So yes it’s true- I’m going to be out of town.  Not a vacation per se, just a few days away from my home visiting my family, and a lot of being in the car.  Evil Genius will be left to his own devices.  I’m  a little bit scared about that.  I bet he eats all the cheese.  I also be he’ll enjoy the quiet!

It was all a bit last minute, and because of that I didn’t really get a chance to get much lined up.  I can say with certainty that I have a post all ready to go for Twisted Mixtape Tuesday.  If I find a picture to use for Wednesday you may see a Wordless Wednesday.  Thursday I shall be reblogging what may be the longest post I have ever written for the theme of road trips.  I’m pretty sure two people read it the last time, so it will be almost brand new.  Kind of like something you’d find at a consignment shop-we’ll call it a “gently read post”.

So here’s hoping your weekend is all you hoped it would be, and have a great next week!  I’m hoping to be back with a brand new post on Friday!

I'll be hearing this a million times...

I’ll be hearing this a million times…

This Mom’s Birthday List

bday 20001_edited-1On May 1st I will turn the ripe old age of 39.  I know, don’t I look young for my age?

I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I believe I will go the extra mile and think really hard about what I want for my birthday.  I know it’s not about the gifts, but I’ve been extra good this year.  I have even kept my house clean for almost a week straight.  I am kind beyond belief, even when I want to strangle other people that I live with.  I bathe the dog.  I spend hours planning out and then executing my plan of attack for grocery shopping to maximize what we get for the money.  I make lunch AND coffee every morning for my husband.  I send him thoughtful messages.  Although I am not a fabulous cook, I don’t let my family starve.  Did I mention I have two children???

1) Permission To Be An Adult  A night out where we have a sitter and my husband is not on the verge of falling asleep, where there is a movie on that we actually WANT to see and enough funds to catch dinner somewhere beforehand (a place where we could make *gasp* reservations??  Do they DO that in Iowa?) Not having to rush home, and maybe even some grown up fun when we GET home.  Hmmmm…I don’t ask for much, do I?

2)  BOOKS.  Not just any books.  Books by my favorite people.

I told a huge lie.  I didn’t mean to.  I told Amber Dusick that I had just bought her book. Technically I had.  It was sitting in my cart on Amazon. I was GOING to buy it.  Twice.  I wanted the free bookplate, because she’s my hero. And I said ‘penis’ on her blog comments.  Therefore it was the least I could do, right?  But then real life intervened and decided that groceries and gasoline were more important than me getting to read her book.  Sigh… For those of you living under a rock, I’m talking about the Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures book.  I’d also take any of the books from the Life Well Blogged series, because I like to support other fellow bloggers!

3)  Complaint Free Shopping. A shopping day alone or with a willing companion (who is not four years old).  I’m no shop-a-holic.  I do, however, like to have time to actually browse in stores that don’t have a toy or a dollar section.

It’s fun to go to stores without an eight year old declaring that it is the worst day of his life because I made him put the DS down and get out of the car.  To leave the house just once without Evil Genius declaring “Let’s get this over with before I vomit!” To go eat at a place that doesn’t have fries or chicken nuggets on the menu.  To be able to try on clothes without a child licking the mirror.  To go to a scrapbook store without a time limit or a little one dismembering a whole rack of stickers.  To not have to scramble to get back home to make supper.  To go to any place that sells anything without a little voice begging “Can I have that, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease????”  (For the record, Evil Genius does that too-he still won’t forgive me for telling him he couldn’t have a Lego Death Star). To have a highly caffeinated beverage without someone pouting.

Evil Genius at the Lego Store at the Mall of America.  He dreams of a Lego Death Star.  His mean wife keeps telling him no.

Evil Genius at the Lego Store at the Mall of America. He dreams of a Lego Death Star. His mean wife keeps telling him no.

(Truth:  I love my family, but sometimes I just need a day away.)

4)  Recharge  A massage or something relaxing…HA HA HA!  I DID actually get a certificate for a massage once.  It was very, very nice.

For the record, my husband has informed me multiple times that he does NOT do subtle.  I have to flat out tell him or smack him.  So honey, here’s my list…  I want to see Iron Man 3 and Star Trek: Into Darkness, for when you take me out.  Maybe we can even hold hands in public or something.  Ooooooooooooooo…

I’d be happy with a bottle of wine and a nice homecooked dinner, but let’s pretend for a minute that I could have those other things I want, k?

Today I also dumped my purse out for Kelley’s Breakroom on her Facebook page.  My husband thought that was really weird, but I thought it was kind of fun!  So come over and check it out!  Tomorrow catch me over at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, where I’ll be rambling about that special place where people understand me.  Also, don’t forget if you have a crazy question for Evil Genius, send it to me at thesadderbutwisergirlisme at gmail dot com with “Dear Dr Genius” in the subject line. 

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge: Blogs I Visit

I am participating in the Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge sponsored by A Little Unhinged.

13)  Three blogs you visit enthusiastically

Ooooo… this is hard.  Since I’ve started doing more reaching out and participating in more stuff it’s really hard to play favorites.  I don’t want anyone to be upset that I didn’t say that I love their blog.  Truth be known I follow well over 50 blogs!  I follow mainly funny blogs, Mommy blogs, food blogs, and a few others. I really enjoy them all! I’ve thought this over very very carefully.  Here are some I have been reading since before I started really seriously blogging.

1.  Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures– This was the first blog I ever read.  I never paid much attention to blogs before that.  It was the Target post that a friend shared on her wall on Facebook that got me started (any time I refer to the hypnotic eye, that’s what I’m talking about!).  After seeing this post I sat down and read THE ENTIRE BLOG.  I laughed and laughed, and have followed religiously ever since.  This blog got me started blogging.  I love how she tells her stories. I have a lot of stories to tell!

See? Funny?

2.  Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva-OMG!  This is a seriously funny blog.  Love it love it love it!

Some families have an Elf On A Shelf. She has a Troll in the Hole!

3.  (A Tie) 100 Days of Real Food and Super Healthy Kids– I consult these blogs almost constantly for ideas. I’m not saying I follow a lot of them, but I try.  100 Days focuses on living on food that is unprocessed.  She has a lot of great ideas that we use in our recipes.  The whole wheat biscuit recipe in there is awesome!  Super Healthy Kids focuses on making food that is fun and healthy, and how to get the most nutrition out of different recipes.  I have a list of things that I want to try this next month.

What kid wouldn’t want to eat these cuties? Oh yeah, my son.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I like funny Mom blogs and healthy food blogs. You’d think that I’d be happier and healthier…

So there are all of those other blogs-I love you, I read your posts regularly, sometimes I get a little behind but I do try to keep up. You are all special to me and I am going to start making a weekly list of my favorite blog posts, just like another friend of mine does.  It’s nice to recognize everyone who works so hard to get their writing read!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite… Blogs

Do you have the song stuck in your head?  Yes you’re welcome.

Today I wanted to take a break from my Idea Diarrhea a bit and share some of the stuff that I really like (not things I love so much I want to marry them, that’s a different post).  I read a LOT of blogs every day.  I guess I have to consider it research.  I just love to read, and give me a good story with a good laugh or two and I’m hooked.  I’m a Mom, so most of the blogs I follow are Mommy blogs, though looking at my list there are a few that are not.

So here are 15 of my fave blogs.  If I had an award to give, I would.  I’m kind of broke but I’m sure I could come up with something.  A trophy made out of homemade playdough?  A sculpture made out of old Cheerios?  A year’s supply of dryer lint?  Hurry and get yours today before the dog eats it.

Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures-I have said it before and I’ll say it again, she is so funny!  I love the illustrations she draws-it’s certainly unique.  This is the blog that more or less started it all for me.  Her sense of humor inspired me to use mine.  It’s good when funny people use their powers for good and not evil, don’t you think?

Scary Mommy-I love this site!  You will feel better that you are in good company of the not so perfect Mommies if you visit this site.  Read the Confessions IF YOU DARE!  You may very well feel much better about your parenting skills.

Attack of The Redneck Mommy– Here is one lady I really admire-she’s not afraid to be her own funny, original self.  She’s raising two teens and a child with special needs, all the while maintaining a wicked sense of humor.

Motherhood is an Art-An inside look at Motherhood to three adorable children.  Lots of good storytelling.  I can certainly relate to her!

The Domestic Goddess-Fellow redheads unite!  Marj Hatzell deals with life with the best sense of humor.  I found it by accident one night and have been a loyal follower ever since.  She’s awesome, you should read it sometime.

Dumb Little Man As it says, it’s tips for life.  It is.  Good useful stuff.

Adrea in Wonderland– Ever read one of those blogs where you think, wow, I wish this person was my friend in real life because she’s cool?

Lady Or Not…Here I Come-This one is not for the faint of heart or the easily offended by stuff that is a little, um, naughty.  She is , however, one of the best humor bloggers out there!

stark.raving.mad.mommy– I follow her on Facebook.  She posts on a lot of different sites. Good stuff!

Rants From MommylandI just recently started following this blog.  She will make you ROFLMAO.

Super Healthy Kids– I started following this blog trying to find healthy lunch ideas for my son.  I’ve had not so great luck with him, but have found some winning dishes for the other little eater in the house.  I love fun, healthy food!

Girl On The Contrary-I found this blog through the comments on a WordPress forum about humor, I believe.  I love her perspective and her observations about, well, everything.

dirtyrottenparenting– Another blog I found through a forum, and so glad I did.  Funny stuff!

Aiming Low– This is a humor blog that is a collection of a lot of different stuff from different people.  I’m hoping to be published on here sometime soon.

My Brain on Kids–  Another great funny blog about parenting (and Adam Levine)!

I hope you maybe find a new blog to love by clicking on these links!  Is there a blog that I should be reading but am not? Let me know!  Do I follow you and you follow me and you’re sad because you’re not on my list?  I love all the blogs I follow, but I don’t have room to list them all on here!   So I picked the ones I a) comment on the most b) post frequently and c) I’ve followed for more than a month.   🙂  I don’t want anyone sad (or burning down my house).   Maybe you’ll make my next list. *wink*

Facebook Envy (Like Penis Envy, Except Different)

Due to my indecisiveness, I missed entering the Crappy Pictures Contest!  All I had to do was leave a short story about my kids as a comment on her blog, but I couldn’t decide which one was best.  My kids are funny, they say and do funny things, right?  I wanted to have my story CRAPPIFIED!   I am very sad.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

For those of you who don’t know, Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures is a blog by a very funny lady.  She draws pictures using some sort of fancy schmancy computer thingie that I don’t actually know anything about.  She has two children, and they say and do some pretty funny things, as most children do because they are children.  I have a link on here if you want to view it-it makes me LOL quite frequently.  I’d add a link on this post, but I can’t quite figure out how to do that.

I was introduced to this blog through Facebook, of course.  It started with the hypnotic eye of Target. Why yes, that is a perfectly plausible explanation as to why you buy so much crap there.  I liked it.  And then it started showing up on my Facebook feed, like magic.  I love the fact that you can like something on there and it will keep coming back for you.  I wish chocolate would do that…

Facebook has changed the way I do a lot of things.  My mom convinced me to sign up for it when my daughter was a wee baby.  I was skeptical.  Then I realized it was like the bulletin boards we used to use in college to communicate with other college students, only much much better.  You know, on one of those huge computers we had back in the early 90s.  Part of the lure of Lord Valdemort College was the fact that we all got a brand new computer in our rooms that we could take with us when we graduated.  You couldn’t actually see pictures on it or anything, but you could get on Telnet and talk to people.  I thought I was the coolest…

I was cool. I had one of these in college.

I have friends all over the place due to moving frequently.  As time went on Facebook, I was able to connect with most of my friends from Florida.  That was very neat.  I’ve also been able to catch up with friends from high school and college.  And of course my family is quite spread out, so I talk to them too.  As a matter of fact, I get in trouble if I don’t post many pictures of my kids-they yell at me.

Ah Facebook, and the internet.  Now that I have a lot of time on my hands, I spend waaaaaaaaay too much time on there.

Things have changed a lot in the last few years.  I remember when we actually had to pick up a phone and call each individual person when we got some good news.  Now you can just post it on Facebook.  Or if you’re one of those people who “Tweet” you can do that to all of your friends.  Or send a mass text message.  Everything is instantaneous.  There have been several times recently when my husband and I have had something happen that was funny, and we have said, “There’s my next Facebook status!”  And then opened up the laptop and shared it.

If you wanted to share something in the “olden days”, you had to actually “dial” the phone numbers on a DIAL! Talk about time consuming! Sharing news with multiple people would take forever!

(Speaking of a phone with a cord, I got out my old red pushbutton phone that I bought at Kmart years ago.  It matched my bedspread.  The kids thought it was one of the coolest things in the house to play with.)

Facebook can be good, and it can be bad.  I must admit that I have succumbed to a case of “Facebook Envy” many times in the last couple of years.  What is Facebook Envy, you ask?  It’s when you beat yourself up about how other people’s lives seem way cooler than yours.  Although I thought I coined the term, I looked it up and found it on Google, so I guess it’s a real thing.  Darn it.

That’s the thing about Facebook.  Unlike reality tv, you choose what people see.  There’s no camera following you into the bathroom or bedroom or anyplace else unless YOU choose it to.  So you can make your life look as awesome as possible and people like me  go, “Wow, I must REALLY suck!”

So I have seen people move to beautiful houses, go on lovely vacations to exotic destinations, successfully lose weight, run marathons, go back to school, get great jobs, get promotions, have babies, yada, yada, yada.  I have lost two jobs, gained weight, can’t afford a vacation, and would like to move so my husband doesn’t have to drive so much.  I saw people at my 20th class reunion, only I wasn’t there.  I saw the pictures later.  I stayed home and watched Ghost Rider.  I guess I just didn’t want to spend a night comparing myself to everyone else and what they have accomplished.

What I have to tell myself is that what I am not seeing on there is all of the other stuff that people are probably smart enough not to share.  Stuff like the case of herpes contracted while on that wonderful vacation, that it takes major diet pills to lose all that weight, or the fact that the job looks great but it’s one of three jobs just to afford that luxurious car.  I myself didn’t always have that sense, and still don’t sometimes.  I have gotten myself in trouble a few times with Evil Genius for sharing too much.  Sometimes you just gotta vent.  Other times you just want people to know how stupid you are, like when I was viciously attacked by my basement steps.  Sometimes you just need an opinion-and I’m figuring out that when you ask for other people’s opinions you’re often going to get stuff offered that you don’t want to hear.  Like how many times now have I been told I need to do childcare in my home, and how many times I have politely reminded people that I DON’T HAVE ROOM IN MY LITTLE HOUSE (adding on is not an option, nor is using the death trap we call the garage).  I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut when I have to, and then there have been a few times when I’ve posted something and then gone back and deleted it.  I can’t even say it was anything too exciting.  No wild naked parties in my life, not that I’m wanting that…

Well said…

Have I stopped getting on Facebook?  No.  But I do have to stop and think a lot.  Remind myself that there is always going to be someone luckier, cooler, taller, thinner, funnier, and more messed up than I ever will be.