Fly on the Wall June 2014: The Pants Party Edition

Fly on the Wall

Some flies have all the fun… welcome to the June edition of Fly on the Wall, where you can spend time spying on us and hearing all those little conversations we’re having in our house that sometimes are even amusing. 

Each month I partake in this special group event.  All of the participants write their posts and they all go live at the same time!  It’s like a marathon of your favorite TV show just much, much better!

For those of you who know how prolific a writer I used to be, thanks to a busy schedule and a major depressive episode that has now dragged on for far too long I have not been able to write much of anything.  This is the one thing that I have been able to stay active in as a blogger, and I just wanted to give a shout out to Karen of Baking in a Tornado for being understanding and not telling me to go away.  Will I ever get back to writing on a regular basis?  Will I ever feel funny again?  That remains to be seen…

Now, read the nonsense and foolishness that goes on in my house and then be sure to see what goes on in my friend’s houses by clicking on the links at the bottom of the post!

 

We have entered the dreaded stage of childhood in my house where everything inappropriate is funny.  It does not matter, if it contains the word underwear or toilet in it, it is HILARIOUS to my children.  I’m talking rolling on the floor laughing because a song had underwear in it.  So the cuteness doesn’t exactly abound in my house because my children are too busy trying to make each other laugh by saying inappropriate words:  poop, butt, fart, you name it.

As a humor writer whose most famous posts involve peeing my own pants and being a poop detective, yeahhhh… not so funny.

I am easily amused by brand names.  I truly think this is one of the best names ever.  Now I must decide if I want a regular or an overnight party in my pants...

I am easily amused by brand names. I truly think this is one of the best names ever. Now I must decide if I want a regular or an overnight party in my pants…

Evil Genius: “FINALLY! I got turned into a vampire. Now all I have to do is make my imaginary friend real and turn him into a werewolf so I can marry him and get on with what I’ve been trying to do.”
He’s been playing the Sims.  What did you think he was talking about?

From the living room I can hear what sounds like screams of torture from the backyard.  I go outside to see both kids sitting on the swings, screaming at the top of their lungs.
“HEY!  Knock that off!”  I yell.
“But mom, we’re doing burps!”
I might want to rethink what kind of food I’m serving my family…

Evil Genius:  “Leave some milk for morning. I eat my Fruity Pebbles like a MAN! With milk!”

I told the kids for every minute that they played outside this afternoon, they could play Minecraft. It was tough, but they stuck it out and played for a whole HOUR in the great outdoors.  Guess what?  They didn’t die!

This is part of what I do for my paid job.  These are marshmallows, each plate microwaved at a different time interval.  All in the name of science, right?

This is part of what I do for my paid job. These are marshmallows, each plate microwaved at a different time interval. All in the name of science, right?

Evil Genius:  “I hope we have enough sugar.”
Me:  “I just bought you a new thing of sugar, it’s sitting on the counter!”
Evil Genius:  “Yeah, but it’s only five pounds, and I’m making a cheesecake.”

Memorial Day weekend:  There was racing on all day and we were making fried food.  According to The Professor it was the best day ever.

Evil Genius:  “By the way, there’s an egg in the butter.”
The Professor: “Why is there an egg in the butter?”
Me: “Didn’t you know, it’s reproducing. Butter lays eggs.”
Just a little normal dinnertime conversation in our house…

The Princess of Pink Perfection at the Park.  Priceless.

The Princess of Pink Perfection at the Park. Priceless.

Take any noun and insert it in the blanks:

“Why did the guy put the _________ in the refrigerator?”
“Because he wanted a cool_________.”

Now, repeat 700,000 times in a row, inserting a different noun EVERY time you tell it. Make sure to laugh hysterically EVERY time.

My children. That’s right, they will never be comedians.

The Professor tries out tennis this summer, and looked very cool doing it.

The Professor tried out tennis this summer, and looked very cool doing it.

I almost missed going to the gym because my husband was out shopping for shoes.  Then he came home and made a cheesecake… backwards?

Did you know I’m famous?  Good things happen when you share recipes with friends.  I’m sharing this on here, because my friend Amy is awesome and so is this recipe!  http://funnyisfamily.com/2014/06/crock-pot-chicken-and-noodles.html

Don’t forget to visit these other homes and buzz around a bit!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                  Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://dinoheromommy.com/                               Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                      Juicebox Confession

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                     Someone Else’s Genius

www.theblacksheepmom.blogspot.com                         Black Sheep Mom

http://www.gomamao.com                                Go Mama O

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                            Battered Hope

http://themomisodes.com                                      The Momisodes

http://elleroywashere.com                                      elleroy was here

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