Necessity is the Mother of Invention, and Maybe His Grandma Too

It was a time of dread…

A darkness had fallen across the household.  Evil Genius retreated to his dark cave to hide from the world.  Children were bored and sad.  Mom was slowly losing her mind because she could not remember where she had put it.  All of this because… we had no satellite…

This would not be so bad, except that the rabbit ears were being, well, very very bad.  We could not move, we could breathe lest the station go out.  We were down to two stations that would actually come in, and even those were extremely touchy.  This is not something that I would care about very much, except that nothing else seemed to be working right to try to help the situation.  I needed PBS back for my hour of sanity per day.  The kids wanted PBS back.  Evil Genius wanted his football.

Finally Evil Genius tired of all this foolishness, and went about a solution.  I didn’t hear much of the scientific explanation as to why all of this was happening. There was something to do with water and electromagnetic something or others in our body that would affect the signal.  I’m sure there was some sort of coefficient in there too.  He set to work, and in a matter of a short time he came up with a very sound solution:

Well looky there. A nail solved the problem.

That was easy.  Jeff Foxworthy would be proud.  Everything comes in plus we gained a station.  No ABC, but I think we can live with that.  At least there is one thing in my life I sort of have control over.

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One Mom Dragged Into the 21st Century

I’m wondering if I will have this conversation with my kids someday?

I guess I could say I’ve come a long way the last few years.  In this past year you could say that I almost am current with technology. ALMOST.  I will probably still be one of those parents whose kids understand the stuff better than I do.

I’ve had this blog set up for awhile to post on Twitter.  That’s all I’ve done with it, because I tend to shun whatever everyone else is doing.  I don’t necessarily desire to be like everyone else (not to mention I didn’t really understand it).  Like I watched Desperate Housewives until everyone else was raving about it, then I lost interest.  I don’t watch Reality TV, or anything that normal people really like.  I never even really texted until my I figured out it was the only way I could get anything through to my husband (because EVENTUALLY he would look at his phone).  Honestly I didn’t have a smartphone or a laptop for quite some time.  The most advanced thing I did for years was pay bills online.

However, I succumbed to peer pressure this weekend from The Bearded Iris, a very funny lady who writes a very funny blog.  She wrote a blog about PMS, and I shared my somewhat witty post with her.  She told me I had to “Use the Twittah”.  So I gave her my handle.  Not only did she hook me up, she even gave me a shout out on Twitter.  How nice!  In addition she referred me to  “Some Twitter Truths You Need To Know” on her blog, which is actually pretty handy. ADD me is going to have to print it out and use a highlighter to figure it all out, because that’s how I roll.  I know, how ironic is that?  People who use paper, funny, right?

So I went forward with it, made a few comments and posted a few tweets of my own.  I am now a proud member of the PMS Club.  I’m not sure what the membership cards will look like, but it’s nice to have someone to commiserate with.  I also found some new blogs to follow, as well gained a bunch of followers myself.  That’s cool!  Welcome to all the new followers, I hope I’m entertaining enough to keep people coming back, and more coming to take a look.

While I am busy not trying to get too attached to technology, The Professor is using an Ipad at school.  The school got a pretty cool technology grant, and I believe they have enough Ipads so that there is one available for each student to use in the classroom.  That’s all I have hear about are these Ipads.  I am sure they are cool, but no, we are not getting one any time soon.  I’d rather spend my money on more important stuff like, oh I don’t know, my utility bill?  He and the Princess are stuck playing games and visiting websites on the ancient Dell laptop that got me started actually doing stuff on the internets.  I bought the laptop after getting tired of fighting my husband to use the desktop computer, since I had extra money coming in at the time with my preschool music classes.  This is the computer that I swear caused the economic downturn-I ordered it off of Dell and the day it arrived my husband’s workplace announced they were shutting their doors.  Nice timing, Sarah.  I shouldn’t have been surprised that right after I got my smartphone the place I worked decided that my employed decided to downsize my job.  I should have recognized the pattern by now, I buy something for myself, bad things happen!  I really need to stop that.

I now have my husband’s refurbished laptop, while he got the laptop that would supposedly take over the world.  You have to have that stuff when you’re an Evil Genius you know.  Having a computer that actually can do stuff has been great.  That was what helped me finally get into blogging.  I actually watch stuff on YouTube.  I spend way too much time on it, but then again, I don’t have a lot else to do these days.  I’ve done a few other things with it that haven’t quite come to fruition.  Like getting Photoshop Elements when it was really cheap.  It’s great, if you know how to use it!  Instead, I continue to use Picasa.  The Grocery IQ program?  Working better than I had intended, but it’s not foolproof-if your phone doesn’t get charged like it should and it dies on you, you have no grocery list to look at.  That didn’t work so well…

While I’m raving about my new feats and good intentions in technology, the rabbit ears are revolting on us.  I publicly fired PBS on Twitter this past week for no longer coming in on the TV, even if we sat perfectly still.  How dare they!  I’m not sure if conditions have to be perfect or what.  Princess Tantrum was most unhappy, and I realized just how much I get done when she has her couple of favorite shows to watch.  I tried turning on their laptop and letting her watch her shows on the website.  She didn’t like that.  She would watch a little, play a game, and then shut the laptop off after a few minutes.  Then she would tell me she wasn’t done, and we’d start all over.  We’d have to turn it back on, wait for it to boot up, etc, etc.  Remember my great idea that we could just hook up the laptop to the TV and watch our shows?  If I could only get him to relinquish the thing for a little while, this might just happen.  Damn you, Bejeweled Blitz!

So we’re about halfway there, but I doubt we’re ever going to be the most current ones on the block.  How up are you on technology?  Do you think you could live without it?  I’m sure I probably could, but I definitely would miss it!

Well that’s certainly one way to look at it!

A Day in the Life of Me: Why I Never Get Anything Done

No one wants to pick up their toys. Or art. Or mousies.

Oh boy, it’s one of those days.

I had plans.  Not BIG plans, mind you, but stuff I really wanted to get done.  Like baking.  And getting my fall clothes out.  I had a whole list of things I was going to do.  Why do I never get anything done?  Just for fun, I tried to keep track of what the heck happens at my house all day.  As I look back at this, it’s all starting to make a little more sense…

4:45 am-My husband’s alarm starts going off at 10 minute intervals until he finally gets up at 5:30.  I am semiconscious for this, thanks to the power of Ambien.  I didn’t actually get to sleep until probably 1:30 am, so I’m pretty out of it.

7 am-My alarm goes off.  I rouse the Professor out of bed.  Princess Early Riser was already up and at em.  I fell asleep on the couch while he was showering.  Why was I up so late you ask?  I was up until after 1 am trying to pick meat off of boiled chicken bones.  So I’m pretty tired.

7:30 am-The Professor is finally ready to eat breakfast.  He is a very slow eater, so the next half hour is spent reminding him that he is supposed to be eating, not staring off into space.  I’m so mean!

8 am-My son leaves for the bus.  Since I’m up anyway, I put laundry that’s in the washer into the dryer.  A new load of laundry started.  This is an accomplishment.

8:15 am-Both the Princess and I are dressed and out of our pajamas.  This is also an accomplishment this early.

8:30 am-I am shocked that Princess Early Riser wants to walk the dog early.  I am very happy about this.

9:15 am-We get back home and I go downstairs to get the fall stuff out of the basement.  The dog somehow gets the front door open and escapes while I am down there.

9:45 am-I get the dog back in the house.  Brat.

9:46 am-Princess Early Riser wants to paint her newest suncatcher-a Disney Princess one.

9:50 am-She’s done and bored.

9:51 am-She gets out toys to play with.

9:53 am-She’s bored with all of her toys.

10:00 am-I give in and work on my daughter’s “school” stuff.  She wants to learn.  I had bought some stuff from the Target dollar store for 30 cents on clearance. This included a nifty pocket chart that we hung on the wall.  I also put an old dry erase calendar and another extra board I had lying around the house on the wall.  My Mom is a former 2nd grade teacher-we inherited a lot of her stuff.  I found the box of sight words she had given us to use, and put some in the chart.  The little stinker actually knew quite a few of them.  We spent a lot of time working on reading these words, not because I think she has to but because she asked to.

I am happy that my children love to learn. This is my daughter working at the “school” I set up for her.

10:50 am-I excuse myself from our learning session to change the laundry.  Laundry out of dryer, more put in there, another load in the washer.

11:00 am-She seems pretty occupied now, so I try to exercise.  As I get my weights, BOSU, and mat out, it’s apparent that the Princess is not pleased.  I invite her to join me, she refuses.  I try to help her find something to do.  She doesn’t want to.  She wants me to PLAY WITH HER.  I keep trying to find things for her to do, and she vetoes everything.

11:15 am-I give up trying to find something to keep her occupied long enough for me to do my weightlifting.  I just try to exercise with her staring at me.  (“I don’t WANT to do anything!” she growls).  She is rolling around on the floor, the dog is trying to attack me because I’m on the floor.  I wonder why I’m pudgy.  This is why.  I offer to sell her on Facebook.  There are no takers.

11:20 am-The Princess lays on the floor and screams.  And screams.  She doesn’t want me to exercise.  She throws stuff at me.  I finally end up carrying her to her room.  She screams for a few minutes and then finally calms down and plays ponies.

12:00 pm-The worst show in the world that is one of her two favorites is on-Caillou.  Let the whining commence (0n the TV).  Now I can make lunch.  I did finally get to do (and finish) my workout.

12:30 pm-Her other favorite show is on-Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.  Oh good, it’s all about going on the potty-that will keep her busy.  I can work on some blogging.

1:00 pm-I shut the TV off and she immediately is bored again.  This isn’t terrific because I really need a shower.  I can smell myself.  I would like to be clean before my son gets home, not that he cares but it’s a nice goal.  I also need a nap-I didn’t sleep much last night.  Lurking in my midst as well is a mountainous pile of dishes that I should at least get started on.  My husband had almost every food container we own at work.  He finally brought them all home this past Friday.  Add that to the fact that I was one load behind (due to limited drying space and no one willing to help me dry or put stuff away) and a big meal that required lots of dishes last night (I roasted three chickens, Evil Genius and the kids helped make mashed potatoes, we also made gravy and creamed corn.  Then I boiled the chicken bones)  I really can’t bake until I do some of the dishes.  Looking at the dishes makes me really, really tired.  I can barely keep my eyes open.

1:10 pm-Last load of laundry I am planning on doing today goes in the dryer.  I’m done.  I’ll do more tomorrow.

1:15 pm-Five hours of sleep is catching up with me.  I lay down and take a little nap.  Princess Entertain me has the Leapster out to play.  I am a very bad Mommy.  At least it’s educational.

1:30 pm-I may not be able to keep my eyes open, but I sure can’t fall asleep.  Might have something to do with the child chattering on and on five feet away from me.

1:50 pm-I give up on napping and do something more constructive-take a shower.  It’s a really quick one, as my daughter keepsrunning in and opening and closing the door yelling “Peek-a-boo Mommy!”

2:00 pm-In less than ten minutes, my daughter has managed to drag out half the toys in our house, even with the peek-a-boo in the shower.  Sigh…

2:30 pm-The dog gets out, again.  My fault.  I open the inside door to go out to get his lead and before I can react he runs into the screen door and opens it, running off into the yard.  I take the dog treats out again for a few minutes, then figure it’s not worth it.

2:45 pm-The dog comes back.  Stupid dog.  I take him out and put him on his chain. If he wants to be out that badly, he can be out.  He’s not happy with me.  I really don’t care.

2:50 pm-I spend the next 10 minutes trying to convince my daughter to drink her juice.  She has to have it-it has her medicine that makes her poop is in it.  She has been refusing to drink it all day.  Or anything for that matter.  She finally drinks it.

3:00 pm-I finally fold the laundry, all three overflowing baskets of it.  My daughter hides in it.

3:35 pm-My son arrives home. He forgot his lunchbox again, but he’s had a good day on his behavior sheet.  We talk, they eat snack.

4:00 pm-I watch “Wild Kratts” on PBS with the kids.  They love this show because it’s about animals. Shockingly it’s one I’ve never seen.  I fight the urge to fall asleep.

4:30 pm-CHORE TIME!  The kids are to go do their stuff they are supposed to do every day (feed pets, etc).  The Professor goes right to it without any fight.  The Princess fights like crazy, insisting that putting her laundry away IS NOT part of her chores.

4:45 pm-I finally get to put the grownups laundry away anyway.  She is still fighting with me.  Oh she is tired!

4:55 pm-I tackle the mountain of dishes.  Mainly food containers.  My son comes in and asks to play his DS as a reward for a super day at school. Sure!

5:30 pm-I sit down to glance at Facebook.  And write this.  And debate about supper.  Shrimp stir fry just does not sound good for dinner.  What to fix… what to fix…  I’m assuming my husband is alive since he sent me an email this morning.  Hopefully he is on his way home.  My daughter finally comes downstairs, done with what I asked her to do (put 8 pieces of clothing in her drawers and pick up the ponies.  Hard work…)

5:50 pm-I realize that I’m out of caffeinated pop.  I’m very sad.  We’re also almost out of American cheese.  We’re completely out of olive oil and peanut butter.  Almost out of healthy fats.  Not necessarily a good thing.

6:00 pm-It’s obvious that my husband is still at work, but hasn’t let me know this.  I text him and ask if he’s still there.  Yes. My kids are hungry.  Not like they’ll eat it, but I should start supper.  Chicken sandwiches and cheesy broccoli!

I stopped keeping track at this point.  I could go on with this until I finally go to bed, probably around 11:30 pm or later.  And I still need to do another load of dishes, pack lunches for tomorrow, make my husband supper whenever he gets home, walk the dog again, get kids ready for bed, etc, etc…  No wonder my days seem so long, and I seem to get so little done.  I did get some things accomplished, but not nearly as much as I wanted to!  Well perhaps tomorrow is another day… Of course I think that every night!