The Snowmaggedon That Wasn’t, and Other Unfortunate Events

They told us to expect feet of snow...

They told us to expect feet of snow…

They called it “Snowmaggedon”.  They told us to batten down the hatches.  We were going to get feet of snow.  Travel would be impossible.  We were all going to die.  For someone like me who only appreciates the first snow of the year and the potential to reenact Calvin and Hobbes “Snowman House of Horrors” when we have large amount of snow, I wasn’t looking forward to it.  Not only was I not gleefully anticipating the snow, I was fretting about the fact that this was the first year that I’ve had to drive to make it to work in snow AND figure out childcare arrangements for a kid in a long time.

But let’s back up a minute to what happened BEFORE the storm.  A storm of a different kind.  We had a series of unfortunate events that made me look like a total blithering idiot.

We had a snafu with my phone the day before the alleged storm.  Two days in a row, the sitter had tried to contact me and strange things had happened.  The first day I had not plugged the charger into the portal on my phone in all the way, so it shut off.  I discovered this that morning as I was getting ready to leave.  I grabbed it and plugged it into my car and let it charge, figuring I’d turn it on after it had a little juice, because it was deader than a doornail.  When we arrived, she asked me if we had got her message.  I felt so bad.  It was nothing at the time-her son had been sick and she was on alert just in case she had to cancel (like if he spiked a fever or got worse).  I went to work, and turned on the phone with a partial charge to see her message-she had texted me.  I meant to text her back and tell her that it had been an isolated weird thing, that I almost always get texts and that was the best way to reach me.  I must have started the message three times when I was on my break, but kept getting interrupted by phone calls.

The next morning, the day of the supposed superstorm, we arrived at her house and there was no one there.

(To clarify things, this time my phone was on…)

So here we were, 40 minutes before I had to be at work a half hour away, with two confused kids.  The Professor was freaking out-no so much because his routine had changed, but because he didn’t get to eat a second breakfast at the sitter’s house.  Princess Difficult was mad because we were in the car and not going anywhere.  After all, it was her fourth day of being the Shining Star at school and she was missing out on important time where everyone is focused on her!  There was whining and complaining and crying.  I pulled back into my driveway, turned around and told them sternly:  “No one is getting out of the car.  Everyone is going to be quiet while I try to FIGURE THIS OUT!!!!!”

And then there was silence.  Thank you.

I began the work as only an expert in miscommunication can do effectively:  1)  I texted my husband and asked him if she said anything the night before.  No.  2) I scrolled through my missed calls and found out that I was never informed by my phone of this missed call or message.  Stupid phone.  I am still not 100% sure of what happened, but obviously her son was pretty sick.  3)  I called work, explained what happened, and told them I would be in as soon as possible.  4) I emailed the school, and let them know that my son would be coming to and fro on a different bus.  5)  I texted the sitter, telling her I hoped everything was ok with her poor kid, and that texting really is the best way to get a hold of me.  FINALLY, I went in, got both of the kids a waffle, and we got to the school, parked,  and waited until The Professor could be dropped off.

Meanwhile, while I was panicking over this, everyone else was panicking over the giant storm coming to kill us all.

Ohhhhh nooooo... they're coming for us...

Ohhhhh nooooo… they’re coming for us…

The Professor went to the middle school to wait for his bus at 8 am sharp, the earliest time he could be dropped off.  The Princess and I went to preschool.  We were there a whole 3 and a half hours.  This was because the monster storm scared every school into closing early.  Our school, one that rarely closes early, rarely delays,  and rarely cancels decided to let the kids out at 1:15.  Since I have to take a break anyway and have to be home not long after that, I left at noon.  Besides, I’m scared of driving in snow.  When you drive a car into a ravine when you are young and total it in snowy weather, you tend to be a BIT leery of such weather.  But that’s another future post…

So we rushed home.  Princess Difficult was OBVIOUSLY in need of a nap-she was pretty impossible to deal with. I made her lay down on the couch and she slept for a very long time.  The Professor came home and is even quiet for a change (whispering is not one of his strong suits.)

Meanwhile, I kept looking outside the living room window, waiting for this massive snowfall to start.  It was supposed to come so fast and so suddenly that people would be stranded and not able to go anywhere.  I worried about Evil Genius getting home.  I worried about losing power.  I worried about having enough caffeine to get me through the next few days that we would be stranded.

There was not a flake.  I was getting mad at the weather.

Or something like that...

Or something like that…

Evil Genius came home around 4 pm.  Still no snow.  I kept checking.  Finally at almost 6 pm a gentle little snow shower started.  Not too terrible, just some snow.  Really?  You got us all worked up for this?  Surely some schools around the area are feeling REALLY stupid.

I should have listened to the meteorologist.  One of the children in the preschool has a father that works for the National Weather Service.  He had told me earlier in the week that he thought it wasn’t the big deal they were making out of it…  That night on the news, the weather guy seemed almost disappointed.  Crestfallen, he says “We have some light snow falling around the metro area.”

Yet the schools continued to be fooled.  They all delayed the next morning, compounding things for everyone.  Maybe it was a little tricky, but it really wasn’t what the soothsayers had foretold.

I’m not a big fan of winter, but COME ON!  Don’t tease us with tales of killer snow.

Another kind of killer...

Another kind of killer…

Gerard Butler Has Nice Abs…Oh, Here’s The Weekly Wrap-Up

300 Likes On Facebook

300 Likes On Facebook!

I only fell one short of my goal to have 300 Likes on Facebook by Valentine’s Day.  Saturday evening I got online and saw that I finally reached 300!  Yay!  So that means that 300 people follow me on Facebook, and 225 follow me on Twitter, and 176 people follow my blog, but some of them are the same people… Um, I don’t want to do the math to figure out how many followers I actually have.  I’m very grateful for all of the fans that I can get!

Monday  They Don’t Know That We Know They Know We Know About The Sadder But Wiser Girl  I was challenged by Menopausal Mother to answer a bunch of questions.  So I did.  This is the result.

Tuesday  Phones Behaving Badly, and The Armadillo Fairy Princess Rides Again  My phone is so smart that it runs itself down by thinking too much…

Wednesday  Wordless Wednesday:  The Real World  

Thursday Theme Thursday: Pet Peeves  It’s Valentines Day, and I celebrate by complaining about stuff that bothers me.

Friday  Fly on the Wall February 2013: The Professor Edition  Last month the princess got her fifteen minutes.  This month it’s the Professor’s turn to be quoted.  If you haven’t read the posts by other bloggers yet, you really should!  Follow the links at the bottom of the post and check them out.  Want to participate or just want to know more?  Click on the s Fly on the Wall button on my sidebar.

Saturday A well deserved day off, sort of.  I got to hang out with my Mom and had some great Chinese food.  Then she went home and I went grocery shopping.  I lead a pretty exciting life.

Besides these posts, I can’t say that I did too much with my blog this week.  It was a full week at work for me and Evil Genius.  Since The Professor had a no school day this week, Grandma came up to stay with him.  She kicked the adults out of the house on Friday so that Evil Genius and I could celebrate Valentine’s Day a day late.  We spent a lot of time driving around trying to find a place that didn’t have an hour long wait.  Apparently EVERYONE was celebrating VDay a day late!

My Valentines.

My Valentines.

Best search terms this week

Chad Knaus shirtless People, there are no naked or shirtless pictures of Chad on my blog!!!  Sheesh…

Pictures of little tornadoes in your hair  ?????

Don’t touch my elf girl  Remember that episode of Spongebob with the guy named Kevin?  “Touch!”  “Don’t touch!”  I am so, so very pathetic…

The cheapest iron man suit on the internet  You’re not going to find it here.

The five stages of pizza  There are stages?

I have no idea what’s to come this next week… you’ll just have to keep checking back to find out.  Bring some of your friends!  I may have gained more followers, but I’m sure not getting the page views!

When Warranty Gods Are Smiling

I doubt my guardian angel is like Nicholas Cage, but I had to insert the “City of Angels” referential picture somewhere. Awesome movie that ended oh so very terribly… how many Nicholas Cage references can we have in one blog anyway?

Today I feel as though maybe someone is watching over us.  At least the warranty deities are.  I’m sure the guardian angel is in on it too.

Remember the phone?  I dropped my awesome Galaxy S Cheap yet terrific smartphone in the toilet for a millisecond.  The part you talk into would not function.  I could hear people on the other end but they thought it was a prank call because it was like noone was there on my end.  I could use it on speakerphone, but that’s nearly impossible when you have two kids sitting nearby, trying to see who could make who laugh first by saying different sentences with the word “underwear” over and over.

This wasn’t the first time this quit working.  It also had some other issues that I just ignored.  I finally decided to go over to my cell phone provider to see what they could do for me.  I just neglected to tell them about the toilet part. I mean, there was no visible water damage anywhere.  As it turns out, the phone was still under warranty, so they could fix it and I wouldn’t be charged.  Unless of course they got inside there and found all kinds of water damage.  I decided to take my chances, and off to the shop my phone went.  I was given the option to have an exact duplicate of the phone overnighted to me for $35 that I could use while it was being repaired, or I could take the crappy loaner phone they had.  I opted for the crappy loaner.

Yesterday I went to pick it up.  The guy got everything put back on the phone, and I left, happy as a clam to have my phone back.  It worked better than it ever has.  It wasn’t taking screenshots while it was supposed to be in screen lock mode.  It actually responded when I did stuff.  Maybe they were mean to it at the repair place?  Or maybe it really missed me.

Today as I was sitting in my car, I noticed something.  It’s not the same phone.  I know this because it got flung across the room when I first got it and one of the corners got just slightly banged up.  It wasn’t real noticeable, but it was permanent.  I realized that it was no longer damaged.  That would be because it’s a BRAND NEW PHONE.  They must have just swapped it and called it good.  I am beyond thrilled!  All of the other stuff works on this one.  Wheeee!

Thank you, Samsung.

I really just wanted an excuse to use this picture. It really has nothing whatsoever to do with this post, other than it has phones in it.

Yesterday my son came home with broken glasses.  Keep in mind this used to be an almost weekly occurrence.  These are the good glasses.  The eyeglasses people have already replaced the frames once, deciding that glasses that were supposed to be that sturdy shouldn’t bend or break so easily.  He’s done pretty good since we got them back.  He’s gone several months without incident other than losing a nose pad.

He said he accidentally walked into someone’s football game at recess.  I’m not surprised, I’ve seen him walk into many walls in his lifetime.  Apparently he was tackled when he walked into the game.  The frames were a little bent, and one of the earpieces had snapped off completely.  Someone had done a pretty good job of taping them together for him.  Luckily, we still have the pair of glasses he got originally, the ones that break if you look at them wrong.  I think Medicaid doesn’t take durability into account when deciding which frames kids can have.  Which is weird, come on, kids are really hard on stuff.  And you’d think that they’d realize that when kids like my son have to come in to get them fixed almost weekly.

Today I took the glasses in to eyeglass people.  The lady looked us up and said “Oh boy, it looks like your warranty expired… YESTERDAY!”

Maybe it was the look on my face, or maybe it was the sound my wallet made when it screamed.  She smiled and said, “It’s ok, we can still get them fixed under warranty.”  I thanked her about a billion times.

A good couple of days indeed.  Things fixed for free.  Found lots of bargains at the store.  We have free tickets for the game on Saturday.  Perhaps the garbage disposal will come back to life now?  Maybe there is a way out of this pothole after all.  Just to be safe I won’t hold my breath.

I rather imagine my guardian angel would be more like the Ghost of Christmas Present in Scrooged, except maybe without the toaster. That would explain a lot of my injuries.