April Secret Subject Swap Take Two: When I Grow Up

Welcome to Take Two of March’s Secret Subject Swap. This week, 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

 My prompt was:  What did you want to be when you grew up and why, submitted by: dates2diapers2.blogspot.com

In case this sounds somewhat familiar to those of you who have been reading my blog all of this time (like there are so many of you, haha), much of the following is an excerpt along with a few additions from a post I wrote for The Getting to Know The Blogger Challenge, which I participated in through the blog A Little Unhinged way back when.  You know way back in the past in 2013.

As a kid I had big dreams.  There were so many things I wanted to do.  For example, one thing I wanted to was write science fiction like Robert Heinlein.  NOT books like Starship Troopers though.  Ick.

starship-trooper

Another thing that I wanted to do was work for Industrial Lights and Magic.  I grew up when George Lucas was putting out the first set of the Star Wars Trilogy.  You know, before Jar Jar Binks, when it was GOOD.  (Sorry George, I mean Walt…)  I watched a lot of movies.  Keep in mind that I also thought Clash of the Titans was one of the coolest movies on the face of the earth at that time.  The ORIGINAL Clash of the Titans.  Don’t judge me.

Release the Kraken!  Now it has so many connotations...

Release the Kraken! Now it has so many connotations…

I also wanted to be an astronaut, because I loved space that much.  Then I found out that you have to actually understand some of those science concepts and be good at math.  That was as far as that dream went.

space.1

No great view for me. Thanks, algebra.

When I was in high school and living in Florida I wanted to join the Air Force.  I’m sure this was thrilling news to my NAVY family.  This was because we lived on an Air Force base (Patrick Air Force Base, for anyone who was wondering).   Then our circumstances changed and we ended up moving away.  Not being around all of that stuff all the time made it less of a dream for me.  I also wanted to go to Florida State, but lack of money for my family at the time and that lovely out of state tuition you have to pay made that not work out either.

I hate the Gators.  And besides, FSU has glitter guys.

I hate the Gators. And besides, FSU has glitter guys.

And of course I wanted to be a teacher because I loved school and learning and all of that stuff.  For those of you that have been following my blog all know that didn’t work out so hot for me, huh?  If I had to do it all over again, I would have stuck with early childhood education and hoped for the best.  But, you can’t go back.  I have to deal with the hand that I’ve been dealt.

IT NEVER GETS OLD!  NEVER!

IT NEVER GETS OLD! NEVER!

Now that I am an adult, I have been married for more than thirteen years and have two very funny children.  It wasn’t something that I aspired to do, but it was nice that it turned out so nicely in that respect.

September 1999

September 1999.  Weren’t we just ADORABLE???

My kids.

My kids.  They are now the adorable ones.  Most of the time.

The truth is, I never really decided what I wanted to be when I grow up.  Even when I was in high school, although I knew I liked education, I wasn’t totally set on it.  In college, I was persuaded to go with the major that I then attempted as a career for a few years before it obviously wasn’t working out for me.  I still don’t know what I want to be.  These days I am a Stay At Home Mom who is trying to make it as a writer.  While I am hoping it works out, I’m still not totally set on that being the one and only thing I want to be.

I hope you enjoyed my post!  Be sure to check out the other posts in the Secret Subject Swap!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com

http://www.peanutlayne.com/

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/

https://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com/

www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com

www.theblacksheepmom.blogspot.com

www.homeonderanged.com

http://victoryrosevintage.wordpress.com

dates2diapers2.blogspot.com

http://badwordmama.blogspot.com/

http://mylifeaslucille.blogspot.com/

From Preschool to Kindergarten Cop: What I Got Out of Subbing

funny teacher gift

I don’t get gifts because I’m the sub.  Yet there are days when I would have said this. (Though I DO think a monogram out of crayons would be cool.)

I’m winding down my sub job this week-two more days and I’m a free woman again.  It’s been good for me, but I must admit I’m ready for some time back home.  You know, being a horrible manager of my time, bored and broke again…

This whole job thing was much more challenging than I thought it would have been.  This didn’t necessarily have anything to do with the job itself.  This is because some other things happened.  First of all, about a month in, Evil Genius embarked upon a project at work that will probably last at least 4 more weeks and makes him work 500 hour weeks.  I know there aren’t 500 hours in a week, but to him (and me) it really feels like it.  He leaves long before most humans even think about getting up to go pee, and returns home at night with enough time to eat supper and go to bed. Naturally, my reaction to all of this is to tell him I’ll write a song about it, make him coffee when I remember, and kill him with kindness when he is in SUCH a good mood (I love you honey…)

Then the poor girl I was working with had a family tragedy and had to take some much needed time off.  With both of the regular classroom teachers having to be gone, I had to step up quickly and do stuff that I’m well capable of but just wasn’t expecting to have to do.  It made things very interesting, to say the least!  On the other hand, I think it worked out pretty well that I had been the one that was there instead of several people trying to fill in the hours.

Other things happened too, I’ll get to those in a minute…

Anyway, as I was working these last two months I definitely had some moments and I learned some things too:

Anyone who says that they are going to quit drinking diet pop upon returning to work are setting themselves up for epic failure.

Never hesitate to ask for help from your fellow bloggers.  They will RUN to your aid!

Don’t ask your husband to do anything non work related because you can’t.  He won’t remember.

Having your own child in your classroom means you are basically working two full-time jobs, teacher AND Mommy.

Oh she's cute, but it was a challenge having her in the same classroom sometimes!

Oh she’s cute, but it was a challenge having her in the same classroom sometimes!

Upon deciding to work a job in another town, you are guaranteeing there will be at least one winter storm per week, and one to two snow days per pay period.

Anyone who says they are going to quit eating sugar when they go back to work are setting themselves up for epic failure.  Especially when Valentines and Easter are in that time frame.

Guest bloggers are the way to go when you need to be busy doing something, or are tired, or just don’t want to blog.  I just wish I had done that sooner!

When things change, your ADD son will miss getting off the bus at the right place at least once.

No matter how good your dog seems, when he’s left to his own devices for days on end, he will poop on your floor.  AND tear stuff up.  AND be a general pain in your rear.  It’s a good thing he’s cute.

This didn't happen-but other messes were made.

This didn’t actually happen-but other messes were made.

Anyone who says they are going to quit taking Ambien to help them sleep when they go back to work are setting themselves up for epic failure.

Apple Jacks are never a good idea for breakfast when you have to last from 5:30 am until lunch.

If glasses are to be broken with no hope of repair, it will be the expensive ones, not the free ones.

No matter how nice the weather is, if you choose to leave your dog outside all day (because he poops on the floor and tears stuff up) the temperature will drop to negative numbers and there will be a blizzard.

Never in my life have I wanted to quote Kindergarten Cop so much.  You don’t know how many times I wanted to yell “There is no BATHROOM!”  I can even think of a couple of Arnold moments that I had.  But what happens in preschool stays in preschool.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Certain little girls who hold in their poop will find new ways to keep it in.  No matter how much fiber you give her.  Add to the fact that you don’t really know when the last time she actually went was, it’s kind of a “poop roulette”.

It’s nice to have an excuse to be on Pinterest-I have to find art ideas for work!

Never ever make plans when you are a substitute teacher.

Things usually work out-you just have to give them time.  This has nothing to do with the noncompliant pooper, it has everything to do with life in general.

Sleep.  I knew it well once.  And I’m an insomniac-that’s not saying much.

I’ll be back with actual posts hopefully later this week.  In the meantime… tomorrow:  toodle on over to Go Cheap or Go Home to visit me.  I’m posting an oldie but a goodie-the poor girl wanted some time off! 

I really won't be a pah-ty poop-ah.  I will be baaaack!

I really won’t be a pah-ty poop-ah. I will be baaaack!

I Broke Into a Building With Milo Ventimiglia

This guy helped me break into a building.  Not for real, of course.  How weird and random.

This guy helped me break into a building. Not for real, of course. How weird and random.

Happy Monday morning!  It’s been awhile since I’ve had a really bizarre “where the heck did that come from” dream.  A couple of nights ago I had one.  It was weird.  Really weird.  And I wasn’t even sitting on a toilet this time.  For your Monday morning displeasure, I thought I’d share.

The place where I taught preschool when my son was little is considering adding a teacher if their enrollment goes up.  So it’s been on my mind.

In my dream I had agreed to work afternoons for them.  From 2-5 or something.  Where were my children?  I’m not sure.  On this particular day in my dream I had to go do this for the first time.  Then for some reason I couldn’t make it.  But I had their van.  Why did I have their van?  So I couldn’t make it to work, but I could go return their van.  Makes sense, right?

For some reason it was nighttime the entire dream.  All day long.

dream kitty

So I set out to take their van back. When I worked for this daycare we would take the kiddos out on field trips in these great big vans.  Putting in and taking out all the car seats was a nightmare, pun intended.  But why would I take the van home?  I must have been thinking of my LAST job.  Since I was expected to go all over the world to teach these classes, in order to not use my own gas I had to take one of their huge gas guzzling vehicles.  This makes so much sense for an organization that is one the brink of financial disaster.  ANYHOO-sometimes if I was teaching a class three hours away I would swap my vehicle with theirs the night before since I lived out of town.  Then I could get at 5 am and hop in and drive.

It was enormous inside (the van in my dream, not the one in real life).  There was a tv, and a refrigerator, and furniture.  Before I could go take the van back to the daycare center, first I had to go get a key from some business downtown.  Only I didn’t have a key to this building that I had to get the key out of.  So naturally I had to break in.

This is where Milo Ventimiglia comes in.  I love the last name, try saying it three times fast.  If you are a Gilmore Girls fan, you know him as Jess, the bad boy nephew that Rory dumps Dean for.  Or you may also know him as the guy who usurped other people’s powers on Heroes.  Or if you saw That’s My Boy he was the brother who was sleeping with his sister because “good-looking people” are just supposed to do that…  I’m not like a huge fan or anything, it was quite a random person.  If I had chosen a break in buddy, surely Robert Downey Jr would have helped me.  After all, he does have an Iron Man suit.

Not really Iron Man...

Not really Iron Man…

So anyway, regardless of what show he was in or why he was in this dream he helped me break into this building.  And we got the key.  But we didn’t leave.  We stayed and ate snacks and watched tv.  This is because isn’t that what you always do after you break and enter into a building, you eat snacks?  Later on I eventually got the van back to the school.  No one was there except for the weird janitor guy who vacuums in the dark.  That part is true-when I worked there we really did have a guy that vacuumed in the dark!  Then my alarm went off.  I got up thinking “huh?”  I was relieved it was just a dream, because I really hate missing or being late to work, and breaking and entering too (I figured I’d better clarify that).

It’s certainly not one of the weirdest dreams I’ve had.  I’m happy that I kept my clothes on throughout the whole dream.  Usually there’s nakedness on my part that I have to hide in strange ways.  I’ve said before that anyone who analyzes dreams would have quite a heyday talking to me about the weird stuff I dream about.

Have you ever had one of those weird dreams that make you go huh?

dream meaning

Oh yeah, and don’t forget to vote for me in the 25 Top Funny Mom Blogs at Circle of Moms… You can vote once every 24 hours until February 13th when the whole thing ends.  I think I’m still pending this morning, but later today will be under the Top Blogs tab, probably way at the bottom!  Vote Here:  Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms

January Secret Subject Swap: Like Mother, Like Daughter, Except When We’re Not

secret

Welcome to Round Two of the January Secret Subject Swap. 17 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.  At the end of the post is the list of ALL the people who participated this month!

This is my second time participating!  Here is my prompt, submitted by Denise at Go Cheap or Go Home:  I knew I had turned into my mother when…

But she is my real mom. And I bet she likes this just as much as I do.

She IS my real mom, and I bet she loves this just as much as I do.  This is one of my favorite pictures!

Well, I haven’t actually had that exact moment yet where I thought I was turning into my Mom.  There are lots of ways that we are similar, and ways that I wish I could be more like her!  I will now attempt to list some of these things-keep in mind my mind is a bit fuzzy from what they say is bronchitis, but I’m beginning to think there is some sort of brain eating virus accompanying it.

Ways I Wish I Was More Like My Mom:

My Mom is a pretty crafty person-to have her craft skills would be awesome!  I’m good at scrapbooking, but have never been much at the other stuff.  Remember, you all saw my cakes.

We've had kitty ribbon shredders, why have I never thought of this?

Eureka!  Forget those fancy edge trimmers, I have a cat!

She’s also great at being thrifty. I used to be.  Now that I have no control over my money situation not so much.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed for financial security…  When I was a kid she would do little things like do rebates or work part-time here and there so that we had money for little things like music lessons.  When my son was little I still was able to do those things, but since then all of the various ways I managed to bring in extra money have gone the way of the dinosaur.  All but one of the places I have picked up extra CPR classes have shut down or quit offering services, people were not interested in sending their kids to my preschool music classes, and I can’t even hired for ONE job these days let alone an extra job for cash.  I’m hoping I can start bringing in something with my writing here soon.  That would be swell!

This was too funny not to share!

This was too funny not to share!

My Mom had to go it alone often when my sister and I were little. My Dad was often out at “sea”, what they call it when Navy guys go out on their tour of duty.  Often he was gone for months at a time.  Not only that, we moved a lot!  She made sure we had a fun time wherever we lived.  I don’t think I am nearly as good or as patient a parent as she was with us when we were kids.  I’m hoping I get better as time goes on.

moms that do everything

I’ll include my address if anyone wants to come over and take me up on this.

She’s really good about remembering those all important things like birthdays and anniversaries.  She always remembers and I always look forward to getting a nice card in the mail for special occasions.  I now have calendars with reminders on both my computer AND my phone, and I STILL forget.  I guess I do remember them, just never in time to get something into the mail.  I suppose if the calendars were to slap me across the face with the card and then push me out the door to the post office with it in my hand, they might be more useful!  For the record, I do remember the things in the house I live in.  Beyond my little ADD world, forget it…

The Ways That I See That We Are Alike:

There’s definitely the sense of humor.  The weird sense of humor that I have runs in the family.  A little morbid and maybe a little bit different than what other people might consider funny.  But when we get together we all just get each other.

Because I too am strange and unusual.

Because I too am strange and unusual.

Growing up, movies were something that we watched together as a family on a regular basis.  Therefore we can quote most of the same movies and tv shows. We quote so many movies and shows on a daily basis at our house that awhile back I even wrote about it. My Mom and I have a lot of the same movies on our favorites list.  I’ve branched out a little since I’ve married my husband, but the old stand-bys are still the best!

I bet you can name that movie...

I bet you can name that movie… one of our very favorites.

We have this thing that we call the recessive gene.  No it’s not a disease or a birth defect.  It’s this thing that happens to some members of our family.  You can be anywhere, anytime, and hear someone say something or even just see something and you automatically break into song.  I can’t control myself any time anyone says anything that remotely resembles a line from a song.  And neither can she.  For example, if someone says the word “so” or “sew” or “sow”-I have to go there. I have to follow up with singing “… a needle pulling thread”.  Sad…but true…

genetics

We both enjoy working with kids, because kids are funny (though oftentimes it’s the adults that suck).  She was a second grade teacher for years, and now is a school librarian-both at the same school I started out teaching at.  I taught preschool for a long time.  Neither of us went insane doing it.  Seriously though, much like me she hasn’t decided what she wants to be when she grows up either.

commas

We like punctuation. If you’d like, I can even sing you the song from the original “Electric Company”.

There’s a few other things too:  One in particular is the annual tradition of the lost gift.  Every year Mom misplaces a gift for someone.  This is due to the fact that she starts her shopping early and spreads it out.  Guess what, I’ve done the same thing a few times, just in a different way.  I have bought things for people and totally forgotten them until I accidentally happen upon them.  (The thing, not the person.)  And it has recently come to light that this was passed down from her mother to her, and now to me.  I just had to change it up a bit.

Perhaps as I get older I’ll be more like my mom in the ways that I want to be.  Like when I grow up?  Oh I forgot, I refuse to grow up, just get old.

The '70s are a long way down there anymore...

The ’70s are a long way down there anymore…

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                     

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/

http://lifeonthesonnyside.blogspot.com/

http://suburbiainterrupted.com/                             

http://www.bigaandlittlea.com                       

http://ibddaddyandme.blogspot.com

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/

http://www.3monkeysandamartini.com

http://www.somethingclever2point0.com/

http://www.themommyref.blogspot.com/

http://rushingforbagels.blogspot.com

http://gocheapgohome.com

http://www.rebekaches.com

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/

http://slackermomof4.blogspot.com/

http://www.mommyunmuted.com/