Not So Deep Thoughts By Me

Random, like this post.

Random, like this post.

I’ve been trying to piece together an actual blog post.  However I’m having some sort of severe anxiety attack tonight so I guess it’s not going to happen.  I’ve been trying to finish an award post and can’t.  Two other posts I would like to finish are sitting with random sentences.  The words are not flowing and the ideas are not forming the way I would like them.  On the other hand, my Fly on the Wall post for next month is already written.  Is that sad?  So instead of a regular post I present you with some random thoughts I have had recently.  And signs, because they’re funny:

I bought Secret deodorant.  Today I noticed that it was an “Invisible Solid”.  If it’s invisible then why can I see it?

Who made the decision that some of the boxes of Valentines should have only 16 cards in them?  How did they arrive at the number 16?  Or 32 for that matter?  I’d like to see the mathematical formula they used to come up with that.

Recently someone called The Opinionated Man started following my blog.  I had to check to make sure it wasn’t my husband.  It wasn’t.

funny-sign-3

I learned the hard way:  never, ever, ever try to save money by buying the basic Venus razor cartridges instead of the Venus Divine.  My legs feel like someone rubbed sandpaper all over them.

Who gets zits on their neck?  Apparently I do.

Am I really immature for laughing hysterically at Superhero Movie?  What’s worse is that I will never be able to attend a funeral now…

It’s very hard to feel sexy when you’re wearing a Hello Kitty band-aid on your finger.

The check engine light is on in my car.  Ok, there’s nothing funny about that…

funny sign 2

Have a great start to your week!  I hope to be writing actual posts again soon…

Truths of My Household: Random Observations of a Tired Mom

I find the following in my life to be true at the moment:

If a woman gets up at the crack of dawn to do any sort of exercise without distraction, the preschooler in the house knows it and will get up too.

There is no surface in the state of Iowa that my seven year old has not licked.

The state of my house is rapidly deteriorating.  I think there is a mathematical formula in there about the age of your children being inversely proportional to the cleanliness of the house.

If I would take the time to clean out my car, there would no longer be any starving children in China.  I believe there is enough uneaten food in the backseat to solve that problem.

The more I sleep, the more tired I am.  The less I sleep, well…

My children watch too much TV.  My seven year old son can tell you all about any drug they are currently marketing.  He wanted me to know that the shingles virus was already inside me.

No matter how clean your floor is your cat will puke on it.

If I recycled all the pop cans in my house and reused the aluminum from them, I think I could build a small car.

My children’s rooms are like a roach motel for everything.  It goes in but it never leaves.

If you are trying to get out of your house in a rush that is the day you will lose your keys.

The laundry hamper is five feet from the shower.   Why is that so hard to understand?

Why is it that we go through so much toilet paper, yet no one in this house actually seems to use it??

The more laundry I have to do, the more I admire nudists.

If you put your winter clothes away, it will get cold.  Then as soon as you pull them back out, it will ninety degrees.

The more I am away from my house, the less time I have to clean it.  The more I am home, the less motivation I have to clean it.

If it’s supposedly good for you, wait awhile, they’ll prove that it’s not.

My life is an endless string of dirtiness.  Dirty is the new clean.

The Barbie house is the melting pot of our household.  She turns away nobody.  Everything from My Little Ponies to plastic bugs go there to hang out.