How Mr Ed Could Interview for a Retail Job

It really has nothing to do with this post, but it made me smile.

It really has nothing to do with this post, but it made me smile.

I’ve had a recent uptick in readership, and this is very exciting for me!  I’ve gone from a handful of followers to over 500 in a little over half a year.  It’s wonderful and at the same time a little scary for me.  It just so happens that I have been having a period of a couple of weeks where the ideas just are not flowing like I would like them to be.  I don’t want to disappoint, especially people that are just starting to read my work.  At the same time, I’m trying not to be on the computer so much and focus on my family more.  I am on here a lot between applying for jobs, networking, writing, keeping up with this blog and others, and working on my web page.  You could say it’s a lot of work not having a job!  Ironic, isn’t it?

An explanation to those new to my blog: I’ve been unemployed for going on six months now, with the exception of a few contracted cpr jobs here and there.  It’s not something that I want to get into the details of because, well, I don’t wanna.  Though as you can imagine it weighs a bit on my mind.  Add to that the fact that I’ve been sick for what seems like forever.  And on top of it all, we are having very cold weather with “dangerous” windchills.  When I can’t get outside at all, I get reeeeeeally moody.  Therefore I’m not real inspired, at least not this week.  When I’m writing about my coffeemaker, I’m stretching it a bit.  Ok, a lot.

Anyway, back to the whole not working thing…  For those keeping track, I had a “group interview” two weeks ago for a job at a large discount clothing store opening in our area.   Anyone could walk in and be interviewed in a group. I could have been a talking horse or a plate of jello, but since I went to their website I was immediately invited to do the group thing (as in the interview, not as in that other “group” thing-get your mind out of the gutter!).  I didn’t have high hopes for it, as a matter of fact I almost cancelled, but figured I could use the interview experience and you just never know.  I’m an optimist-there’s some of that “hope” stuff left in me.

As I think back to all of the people that were in the interview and the ones I saw coming through for the next one, I wondered who the heck they would end up hiring (for the record, there were no talking horses present, at least not at the one I went to).  There was the guy who looked almost exactly like Jimmy from Raising Hope but said very little.  There was a girl who reminded me of Luna from Harry Potter. She may not have looked like her, but every time she spoke she sounded and acted freakishly like her. And then there was THIS girl: “OMG, I used to work at Hollister and it really sucked because it was dark and I fell asleep there EVERY freakin day!”  Yet somehow I think that was the girl they ended up hiring.

Obviously I was not one of the ones they hired.  It took them very little time to send that rejection letter.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they had already put it in the mail before I left the parking lot.  I shouldn’t even be remotely surprised.  After all, they did take anyone who applied.  If a talking horse actually had applied and shown up for the interview, we would have probably had equal chances.  Though I thought I had an in, considering the guy conducting the whole thing had been the one who did the last interview I had somewhere else.  Guess it wasn’t them, guess it WAS me.

sheldon suck

I’m not really upset because it was a retail job that paid minimum wage.  On the other hand, I would love to find any way to bring in some extra income at the moment, because of the lack of odd jobs and extra things that I’ve always done in the past!  It makes me wonder why I couldn’t at least be considered for that kind of work.  So I’m kind of bummed, and left wondering in that respect.  Although my husband is gainfully employed at a wonderful company, I really need a job or some sort of income (*ahem* paid writing jobs perhaps?) because we are behind on our bills and I’m not so good at this homemaker thing.  I can’t pay a lot of my bills because I don’t have a job.  Since I don’t have a job, I don’t have money.  Since I don’t have money, I DON’T HAVE MONEY!  😉

This reminds me of something, this from the movie Scrooged:

Frank Cross: You’re staying here with me. We’re working late.
Grace: But I have to take my son to the doctor.
Frank Cross: Grace! When I work late, You work late!
Grace: But I made the appointment two months ago!
Frank Cross: I care! We’re indivisible. If I’m working late, you gotta work late! If you can’t work late, I can’t work late! If I can’t work late, I CAN’T WORK LATE!

(It’s much better with the movie clip, but I couldn’t find one!)

If only I could get job offers from my command of movie quotes, I’d be living the high life.

Despite all the money worries, I am very happy to be able to spend so much time with my kids.  They are the reason WHY it’s such a big worry, but they are also the thing that drives me to try to find my niche.  I hope that all of the frustration, all of the rejection, all of the not hearing anything from some of these businesses is all part of my little journey of finding out what I’ve really been put here on this earth to do.  I’ve written about the fact that I feel like it should be coming to the denouement quite soon (the final resolution of the intricacies of a plot, as of a drama or novel-I had GREAT English teachers in high school which is why I know what this is).  If My Life Were A Movie I’d Hire Better Writers.  But like any good story, there are additional twists and turns in the plot that have to totally throw me off.  Like a mystery, except I’m not a big fan of mysteries…

It's a mystery.  I don't like mysteries.

It’s a mystery. I don’t like mysteries.

For other funny but disturbing stories about my job search, you can check these out:
What I Think Potential Employers Are REALLY Saying About Me
The Job Search:  How It’s Kind of Like Dating

You Like Me. You Really Like Me!

I feel like Sally Field because you really like me! Now I’m going to go watch “Smokey and the Bandit”.

The results are in.

On a day when I was feeling particularly empowered, and my husband was especially encouraging the night before, I invited people I knew to view my blog.  At least I think he was.  He said something about my blog.  That’s encouraging, right?  I sent him a link to it because he’d never seen it.  And the more I thought about it after he went to bed, the more I thought that maybe I don’t need to be totally anonymous.  I had already set up the page for total strangers.

The reason for my anonymity once again ties into my anxiety.  That someone somewhere that already knew me was going to tell someone else who used to know me that I ranted about them online or something like that.  And they’d come burn down my house.  Or that I’d accidentally offend someone. Then I realized that the only one I’m probably really going to offend is my husband (would he REALLY be offended about me talking about his zest for meat?)

It’s been a tough couple of years.  Social anxiety manifests itself in different ways in different people.  For awhile I felt like everyone I ran into was either judging me or hating me.  Lately I tend to run from people because I either don’t remember their name (I’m allowed because I’m ADD dammit!) or because it’s really hard to be upbeat when people ask me if I’ve found a full-time job yet.  Let me share how I feel about my job search as of late.  Imagine me saying this is in a sing songy voice with a great big Cheshire cat grin:  “Why no, as a matter of fact I’ve run out of jobs to apply for because I suck so much that jobs I’ve put my resume in for have been reposted so they can hire someone else.  Rejection is SO FUN!”  And then all my teeth break from forcing the smile.

So naturally when people say “Hey you should blog” I think “What the hell is so interesting about my life?”  But I AM good with the written word.  If it weren’t for my ability to write, I probably really would be sad and not wise because I would be good at NOTHING.  Writing has gotten me some places.  I do believe I can bs my way through just about anything if I can write it down.  The only reason I made it into the music education program at Lord Valdemort College (the one that shall not be named, of course.  See what I did there?)  was because I had to write a paper to get in.  If I could do that then there may really be something to it.

And my Facebook friends like my blog.  Some have even said it’s funny.  And also some people not related to me like it.  That’s good.  That’s very good.  It’s good to have something to feel good about.

You like me, you really like me.  So I’ll keep it up.  I started a notebook of ideas of things I can blog about.  Once I lose the notebook we’ll see what happens.  I do have stories.  And I have kids.  And I’m ADD, which I’m told is actually a sign of being creative or something.  So keep reading.  And I’ll try really hard to keep giving you something to read.