Twisted Mixtape Tuesday Bathtub Time Machine: 90s Ear Worms and Eye Worms (Shut Up, Beavis!)

Jen Kehl

What is Twisted Mixtape Tuesday? ALL MUSIC.  ALL OF THE TIME.  And a few words to go along with it…  Join our lovely hostesses Jen from My Skewed View and Kristi from Finding Ninee in discovering all kind of different music to make your next mixtape with!

Sooooooo… the 90s…  We’ve moved from my list of favorites last week to songs that won’t leave your upper body alone.  Speaking of, what would the 90s be without a clip from this award winning show that changed the world as we know it…

So hop back in my bathtub and let’s ruin our auditory nerves together.  We start in the early 90s.  As a matter of fact, there were so many ear worms in that time period that apparently my ears had a difficult time moving on…

I’m Too Sexy-Right Said Fred (1991) Up

I’m too sexy for my cat, what do ya think about that?

Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover-Sophie B Hawkins (1992)  Tongues and Tails

DAMN!  I used to love this song.  The story behind it will remain mine and only mine forever and ever…

Baby Got Back-Sir Mixalot (1992)  Mack Daddy

“Oh my GAWD Becky, look at her butt.  It’s SO BIG!”  A man sings about butts, while standing on a butt.  Sounds like we need to watch some more Beavis and Butthead.

What is Love-Haddaway (1993) Haddaway

Anyone who watched SNL had this song stuck in their head pretty much for eternity… One of the dumbest skits in the history of the show, but for some reason it was pretty damn funny!

Loser-Beck (1993) Mellow Gold

You don’t find lyrics any better than this: “My time is a piece of wax, falling on a termite, it’s choking on the splinters…”

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm-Crash Test Dummies (1993) God Shuffled His Feet

This song gets all kinds of awards for uniqueness, among them is the only song title I know that is all the same letters.

Two Princes-Spin Doctors (1993)  Pocket Full of Kryptonite

This song has the same tune as Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind, but it’s more tolerable.  Right?  RIGHT????

Come Out and Play-The Offspring (1994) Smash

Just try.  Try really hard to get that one out of your brain!

One of Us-Joan Osborne (1995) Relish

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah… A song that I really love, but not quite enough to put on my favorites list.  So I put it here, because it does get stuck up in there with all of those rocks.

Lump-The Presidents of the United States of America (1995) The Presidents of the United States of America

But this video isn’t actually Lump, because I don’t actually remember the words of the “real” song.  Once again, thank you Weird Al.

Song 2-Blur (1997) Blur

WOO-HOO!  A song that makes absolutely no sense that you can’t get out of your noggin.

Dizzy? Sick to your stomach? I hope not, but if you are, the toilet is right over there…

I totally lost a ton of time that should have been spent on more productive things, simply because I kept coming back to watch the videos on here!  It’s so disturbing… But if you’re not totally scared away, tune in again next week, when we depart the 90s and enter the final leg of our Bathtub Time Machine journey.  *Sniff*  Don’t forget to click on the cassette tapes at the top of the post to see what other amazing stuff that people actually listened to way back then!

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I Want YOU! (But Not in a Gross Weird Way)

Not this kind of deal, though you could do it from the comfort of your bedroom...

Have I got a deal for you.  Not this kind of deal, though you could do it from the comfort of your own bedroom…

Hey you.  Yes, you.  You there who blogs.  Got ideas going through your head?  Do you want to expose some new people to your writing?  Did you accidentally find this blog just now and wonder if I am some sort of stalker/insane/creepy person?

For those who answered yes to the first two questions above, have I got a deal for you!

You see, I’m going on vacation.  I’m not physically GOING anywhere.  With the sub job and life in general I’m wanting to take some time off.  The week of March 18th-22nd is Spring Break here, and it just may very well kill me.  I will not be posting my own blog posts that week.  Instead I want to offer up an opportunity to all of you.  I’m looking for a few people to guest blog that week.  I’ve done one guest post myself, but personally have never had a guest blogger before.  Unfortunately, I can’t offer any sort of compensation for this (what you think they PAY me to do this? HA HA HA HA)  I would be willing to send you a sucker through the mail, maybe even a gold star.  🙂

Let me know if you are interested, and we’ll set something up.  You can blog about whatever you wish, as long as it is funny and is relatively clean-I say this because as a Mom I want this blog to be one that kids can read over your shoulder and not spark any uncomfortable discussions.  After all, my son is the one who at age four saw an email from a friend and wanted to know what the f word meant!

So think about it.  You know where to find me!  Coming up this next week I’ll be blogging about my return to the gym, petrified poop, parenting, and the next installment of the Secret Subject Swap.  In addition, my husband is about to embark on a long project at work that is so involved  we may never see him again.  It’s going to be a busy week!

And just in case you don’t know what I’m referring to, here is the clip that the picture refers to.  Maybe I take back the whole being clean thing after all…

SNL Velvet Jones School of Technology

True story.

True story.

Dude, Where’s My Love? Oh THERE It Is…

Words to live by.

Words to live by.

I’ve shared several times that I’m the person that, well, never quite fits in.  Never have.  I’ve always been a bit odd.  I wish I could say that it doesn’t bother me because I’m older and wiser now and blah blah blah.  But more often than not it does bother me.  Which is too bad, because if I’m still having teenage angst at 38, that doesn’t bode well for my middle aged years.  What age is considered middle age these days, anyway?  I just read an article about Brad Pitt and how introspective he’s been as he approaches 50.  So maybe it’s 50?  I didn’t have the attention span to finish the whole article anyway…

I’ve tried to fit in, and it just never quite works out the way I’d like it to.  I tend to stick out like a sore thumb, which is interesting because that sure doesn’t stop people when I’m in groups of parents from pretending I’m totally not there.  Sometimes I want to turn to them and say, “You know, I may not be 100 pounds and have my hair perfectly styled and wearing the skinny jeans and the too tight sweater, but I’m a perfectly nice person.  You act like I’m going to wipe a booger on you.”  I really wouldn’t do that, but I certainly wouldn’t put it past my son.  I think I may have referred to good old Winona playing Lydia Dietz on Beetlejuice, which is still one of my favorite movies.  She comments:  “I too am strange and unusual.”  That’s for sure, I could probably win some prizes for strange and unusual!  I’ll take cash, please.

My whole life is a darkroom. One big dark room.

My whole life is a darkroom. One big dark room.

Being part of the whole blogging world has been pretty darn good for me.  Yesterday was EPIC!  I exceeded the number of people that are my “Fans” on Facebook.  I won’t tell you how many of them that are actually my family and friends, but I will say I about bet they are really getting tired of all the crap I have been posting.  I also managed to get the most page hits ever (AGAIN) on here.  This was due to two factors.  1)  I kept relentlessly peddling my story about peeing my pants at Wal-Mart.  I think people finally started reading it so maybe they wouldn’t have to see it, but then realized that it was actually pretty funny.  2)  I am technologically impaired, and spent two hours fighting with WordPress about images.  I almost burned my I ♥ WordPress shirt over the whole deal.  No I DON’T want to put all of my image at the top of my blog post.  Why?  Because I think it looks stupid.  The result was that I totally put everything on my blog post wrong.  Each picture got an individual hit when viewed that counted toward my total visits for the day.  Ooops.  I may accidentally make that mistake again…

I’ve been going through this whole glorious depression thing which in itself is not very interesting or much of a tale to tell.  Unless you like stories about people who cry at the organic grocery store.   But that’s not why I’m writing this.  This is my public service announcement to the world about just giving people a little bit of understanding.

Not that kind of pubic service announcement, but do you remember these guys?  "We're not candy!  Even though we may look fine and dandy..."

Not that kind of pubic service announcement, but do you remember these guys? “We’re not candy! Even though we may look fine and dandy…”

I’m still new to the blogging world because, well, I just am.  I read a lot of different blogs.  One humor blog that I have recently started reading was having a hard time.  Bad decisions, bad luck.  She obviously needed someone to listen.  I commented and left her some real words of encouragement, and that I understood all too well how it feels when life sucks.  I didn’t offer advice, I just wanted to let her know that we are all human.  Every stinkin one of us, and that we are not perfect.  She was really touched.  I’m not writing to tell you all that I am a fabulous person that changed somebody’s life, because I didn’t, I just know how it feels to be there and no one seems to care. You just want some understanding.

I’ve been there, many times in my life, and I have felt very alone many of those times.  One great thing about this online world is that you aren’t ever really alone.  I haven’t exactly had a lot of support for this blog from the homefront.  It’s not that he doesn’t care.  He’s busy, the last thing he really wants to hear is that somebody commented on this or I have this many followers or whatever.  My daughter would rather I throw my computer out the window so I can spend more time doing nothing but cuddling with her.  Luckily I have had a lot of support from the others who do the same thing I do, and that has been wonderful.  I’ve had people help me fix up my blog, tell me where I need to go to get more exposure, and just let me know that they genuinely like how I write and are loyal followers.  Aw heck, this week I have even agreed to do some guest posts on some great blogs!  You have no idea how much that means to me.  The feeling that I am successful at doing something is huge.  Now if I can only get those people who do the “Freshly Pressed” page here at WordPress to get that (hint, hint folks, show me some loooooooove.)

This is to all of the people who've been so awesome to me in this here blogging world.

This is to all of the people who’ve been so awesome to me in this here blogging world.

One thing I’ve struggled with the last couple of years is exercising, and with the being an unemployed bum AND not being able to get out and move around I have really sunk into the depths of bummerdom.  I already don’t feel wonderful about other things, so the extra smooshiness around my middle (not a muffin top, more of a coffee cake) is certainly taking some of its toll on my self esteem.  One fabulous blogging friend reached out to me and let me know that she too has been there, and has been very supportive of me throughout the flab and the anxiety.  It made all the difference.  I’m not going to name her, but she knows who she is!  😉

It’s getting better.  I’m feeling a lot better the last few days.  I’ve gotten out, I’ve moved around, I’ve done some stuff.  Now I’m still unemployed and feel like a big losery loser, but I’ve got a lot more hope than I’ve had.  The candle is still flickering in there!

I’m thinking back to when I was employed, however, and working around toxic people all of the time, and thinking that in a way maybe I am better off NOT working.  One woman in particular had the nerve to tell all of my coworkers during an organization wide meeting in the room that I was weird.  ALOUD.  Right in front of me.  It had to be the most backhanded compliment I had ever had in my life.  If I wasn’t so nice, I would have thrown my pizza at her.  But I sat and took it.  People like that, well, I hope they get what they deserve.  Thhhhhhpt!

Are you wondering if I forgot what my point was?  No, I’m still doing my little public service announcement.  If you see someone who is usually pretty funny have a heartfelt blog post, and you can relate, just take a moment and share that with them.  It’s so good to know that you’re not alone.  Or maybe there’s a mom who is a little different and doesn’t seem too comfortable around other parents.  Take a moment and say hi, you may be glad you did.  People like to be approved!

We constantly quote this, I didn't even know what it was called until I accidentally found it.

We constantly quote this, I didn’t even know what it was called until I accidentally found it.  I was APPROVED!!!!

The Approval Center (Click to view)

So hey, it’s the holidays.  Share the love.  Come on people now, smile on your brother (or sister).  Just because I’m feeling pretty good about this, I’m going to share this classic commercial, because I can.  And because I REALLY want a Coke.  Peace man.

Coca-Cola Hilltop Commercial.

Again, my apologies for no image to go with this.  I only had the above images because I had this post almost done before they did whatever that they did that I am too ADD to figure out.  Anyhooooo….  Last minute additions have no visuals!

REBLOG: If My Life Were A Movie, I’d Hire Better Writers

This is my second REBLOG weekend. This is one of my better posts. Not too old but not too new. Just right, as baby bear would say.

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

I keep thinking lately that if my life were a movie we should almost be at the point where something wonderful happens.  You know, things just seem like they are so bad and then that great thing happens that miraculously turns things around.  It of course results in a happy ending.  The “It’s always darkest before the dawn” type thing.

So obviously this is real life and although I’m sure there’s a plan for me somewhere, I don’t see it happening.  But this brought up a very good bunch of stuff for my blog.  What IF my life WERE like a movie?  What would happen?

I’d get some sort of anonymous donor all of a sudden paying to send me to school.  Then I could follow my dreams.  If this were a movie, I’d know what those dreams were…

I’d have a trainer preparing me for my first triathlon using…

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If My Life Were A Movie, I’d Hire Better Writers

If my life were a movie… there’d be great refreshments at reasonable prices.

I keep thinking lately that if my life were a movie we should almost be at the point where something wonderful happens.  You know, things just seem like they are so bad and then that great thing happens that miraculously turns things around.  It of course results in a happy ending.  The “It’s always darkest before the dawn” type thing.

So obviously this is real life and although I’m sure there’s a plan for me somewhere, I don’t see it happening.  But this brought up a very good bunch of stuff for my blog.  What IF my life WERE like a movie?  What would happen?

I’d get some sort of anonymous donor all of a sudden paying to send me to school.  Then I could follow my dreams.  If this were a movie, I’d know what those dreams were…

I’d get to go back to school with really smart fun people…

I’d have a trainer preparing me for my first triathlon using ordinary things.  I’d be weightlifting family sized cans of vegetable beef soup and full containers of cat litter. I’d be running through an obstacle course made of hula hoops, carefully arranged dog poop, empty Cheerios boxes, and leftover siding.  I’d be pulling a wagon loaded with all of the uneaten food from my house, which would be REALLY heavy (great training potential).  I’d be forced to run up and down the playground equipment at the park over and over.

Just as I’d just given up forever on finding a job and threw myself into something else (most likely the chest high mountain of laundry on the back porch), the dream job would happen to come up on the job website.  I’d decide to apply for one last job and get an interview.  They wouldn’t offer me the job at first, but something miraculous would happen and I would end up getting an even better job because I impressed someone there… because they would think I’m awesome.

We’d break out into song at the most interesting moments.  My daughter going poop in the potty would rate a huge song and dance number.  I would finally get a job interview, and there would be dancers following me as I sang all the way there about how I was going to change my life.  Dinnertime-you bet there’d be some sort of production.  And everyone would like and eat the food too.

“Myyyyyyy husband mowed the laaaaaawn!” Everything would be cause for a musical number if my life were a movie.

Somehow my schedule would miraculously allow me to do all kinds of work to prove the naysayers wrong.  I’d be out there, pounding the pavement, doing something to make everyone who ever doubted me have faith in me again.  Not sure what that would be, but I’d be proving them wrong.

My husband would be very romantic. You know, random flowers and stuff like that.  I bet he’d be conscious too, unless it was a comedy relief type of thing, because unconsciousness can be very funny.

I’d have a better wardrobe (does the HD camera also add ten pounds?)  And better hair.  Much better hair.

I have pretty cute children anyway.  I suppose they would be just as cute, and would say much of the same stuff they say in real life.  Except my daughter wouldn’t poop her pants at the most inopportune moments, and my son wouldn’t eat his boogers.

I’d be giving up my blog just about the time a famous editor would read it.  He would make great strides to try to find me and hire me to come to work for his company.  Also, my fans would rally around my house begging me to return to what inspired their life:  My blog.  Oh yes, and I would have a lot of fans.

I’d have a lightsaber.  I’d also have some sort of superpowers.  And I’d be able to do that slow motion floating and turning in the air thing like on The Matrix movies.  There’d be some sort of epic battle in my backyard.  I’d win.

It would have an awesome, though eclectic, soundtrack.

Yes my life is definitely not a movie.  If you’re willing to buy my story, however, we’ll talk.

Would my life story have the elements that Nicholas Cage looks for in a movie? Would he wonder how he wasn’t in my movie? I’m sure that 1) all of the dialogue probably would be whispered or screamed and 2) food would be served in the movie.