The Weekend Update, Now With Girl Scout Cookie Therapy!

girl scout cookiesThis week has been a challenging one for me personally.  There are many things that are happening that I can’t share on here.  As you know quite well by now I have been terrifically busy and haven’t had a lot of time to devote to this blog.  When I have been on here I’ve been playing catch up.  I also tried to do such nonsense as to create and attempt to use a Google Analytics account, which resulted in sobbing.  I also bought Girl Scout cookies, which made me happy.

I have created a mathematical formula which should solve every crisis in the blogging world.
For every web frustration, eat one Girl Scout cookie.  Got that?  Web Frustration+Girl Scout cookies=happiness.

Monday  Tales From the Gym  Ironically, after I posted this one I had some stuff happened that prevented me from getting there much.  Next week will be better.

Tuesday  A Blog Identity Crisis:  Why Do I DO This?  I poured out my heart here, sharing my frustrations about blogging as of late.  I had lots of wonderful support and comments from my blogging friends on this one!

Wednesday  Wordless Wednesday  Snow, Snow, and MORE Snow!  Winter, just please please go away!

So ready for Spring...

So ready for Spring…

Thursday  Theme Thursday I tried to no avail to write a post for Theme Thursday that was controversial.  I like conflict about as much as I like getting my hair yanked out.  But I had a really good topic and it is partially finished.  I’m going to save it for another time.  But hey,at least check out the other posts that went up that day from the other ladies, or the “Themers” as I call them!

Friday  Cleavage and Kilts  My first guest blogger for my week off-Marcia from Menopausal Mother does the work for me.  She shows that what happens at a Renaissance Fair doesn’t always stay at a Renaissance Fair!

Saturday  Where’s Waldo?  Answer:  Creepytown  Guest blogger #2, Lisa from Ranting Seriously comes over to try to find Waldo.

TODAY  St Patrick’s Day and the Prom Date Snatcher  I wanted to make sure that I don’t take away from today’s guest blogger.  Ginger from the Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps is Guest blogger #3.  She reminds us all about high school and the friendships that sometimes change…

delicious leprechaunBest and Most Disturbing Search Engine Terms This Week

Leprechaun pin-ups  Leprechaun super models?  Little tiny people wearing nothing but their beards?  Oh never mind, I don’t want to know!

funny pictures of animals making fun of songs  Because that’s what animals do.

tube toilet evil tube An evil tube shaped toilet?  An evil tube top that looks like a toilet?  I want to know!

More Guest Bloggers and Flies

Tune in next week-I’m still on my brain break with guest bloggers filling in!  Darla from Mom’s World speaks of friendship, Jenn from Something Clever 2.0 shows us that she really has all the answers,  Denise from Go Cheap or Go Home blogs a bit about friendships with exes, and When Crazy Meets Exhaustion and Pen Paper Pad have subjects to be announced.  And don’t forget that this coming Friday is my favorite time of the month.  No not that, I’m talking about Fly on the Wall.  This month I will present  “The Michael Bolton Edition”.  You’ll just have to come back to see what THAT’S all about!

I so may be there by the time this week is over...

I so may be there by the time this week is over…

St Patrick’s Day and the Prom Date Snatcher

A leprechaun for St Paddy's day!

My little leprechaun. We made leprechaun hats at school!

Happy St Patrick’s Day!

Today’s post is by a blogger that I had to track down.  I had lovely comments by a gal known only as “Ginger” on my blog post.  Oh my, I know several bloggers that follow me that are named Ginger or have the name Ginger in their blogs.  We finally connected, and now she’s guest posting for me on St Patrick’s Day.  The truth is, I thought Thursday was St Patrick’s Day.  For some reason, I was thinking it was March 14th, not the 17th!  How funny is that?  I’m glad she’s so excited to blog about St Patrick’s Day!  Be sure to check out her blog-the link is down below.

A little bit about the lovely Ginger:

I am a 30 something, happy go lucky lil gal from West by God Virginia, with a wicked sense of humor. I am a stay at home mommy to the most adorable four year old, loving wife to the best hubby ever, and have two awesome step kids, who are twenty and eighteen. I quit Corporate America to explore domestic adventure! I love Harleys, and my passion is photography!  I love reading, but currently cannot find my Nook cord!  I used to be crafty until becoming  a mommy, now we enjoy painting and playgrounds! I see everyday mundane things as great blessings and awesome adventures! I find the humor in everything, especially parenting! I write about all the wild and wonderful, crazy happenings in my world, from my quirky lil, sometimes disgustingly positive, point of view, on my main blog, The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps.  I also have a second blog, The Grief Chronicles  , which is all about my journey in grief, after losing my mother, my best friend, 16 months ago next week.  SO don’t be a stranger, hop on over and say Hi! Tell me TSBWG sentcha’! -Ginger

Hi there! I am Ginger From The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps . I am excited to have been picked as a guest blogger for today of all days, St. Patricks Day! I had another idea all ready to go, when I realized I landed green beverage day! I am honored and just tickled pink to provide today’s St. Paddy’s Day entertainment! Thank you so much Miss Sarah!

happy st pattys

So we were having dinner out.  I had been wondering what to guest blog about here on The Sadder But Wiser Girl, for St. Patrick’s Day.  I had thought about doing a funny SPD traditions, and history of the holiday post, but then my hub said,” They like what you write, so stick to that!” Okay point to Hubbie the Dearest, I’ll abandon my boring SPD idea, and break it out for you! I have to admit, I was a bit intimidated and super duper excited when Miss Sarah called me Epic! Wow! What a complement! So no more freaking out about what to write, I am going to delve into my neuroses, and bring out possibly the oldest for you today!

So while sitting at our local Mexican restaurant the other day, all the above thoughts were swirling through my head, as I stuffed guacamole dipped cheese quesadilla into, my not wanting to eat, 4yo’s mouth, when I heard that voice. The voice from my past that I would never forget. The tinkling, girlie girl, flirty, self assured, dripping raw sex appeal, voice of the prom date snatcher.  Yes folks, she sat diagonal from us in the restaurant, and I was forced to cringe, but at the same time hang on every word that spilled forth from her mouth.  I heard a child whining, and turned around to find none other than, the prom date snatcher! She was looking at her child, and did not see me.  She has met my husband before, but I am guessing did not remember him, as he was sitting facing her, her husband, and child.  I was sitting with my back to her, so I had some semblance of privacy for my eavesdropping!

I immediately felt that same old feeling that I get every time I run into her.  A mixture of dread, heartbreak, betrayal, and the sense of wanting to escape my ex best friend’s presence as soon as humanly possible. Your ex best friend you ask? Yes. The one who stole my senior prom date. The one that effectively broke my heart. And no, I am not over it! I have forgiven her, but I just cannot bring myself to be friends with her again.  She betrayed me.

Now for a little history.  I was’ that girl’ in high school.  The good girl.  I didn’t drink, smoke, or have sex…then I went to college, but that is a story for another day! I had sleepovers with girlfriends, was involved in SADD and Safe Rides, and was deeply involved in a fraternal social service organization, community service, and fund raising.  I was, ‘in love’ with the next door neighbor that I had grown up with, even though it was, as I found out later, unreciprocated. He was my best guy friend. He flirted a good game, leading me on, all the while dating girls that put out from his Catholic High School.  As such, he was my first puppy love crush! I adored this fellow! He had a rough upbringing with a single mother who resented the fact his military father abandoned them.  He also did some, ahem, not so legal things on the side, to earn cash.  So of course the bad boy element added to his allure! Plus he was a latch key kid.  So when his mother kicked him out for a while, he stayed with my family for awhile.  Oh boy, did that ever fuel my adolescent illicit dreams! But alas, I was a good girl, and stayed put under the covers in my bedroom. He also went to private military school for a while.  He told me to write to him, that he would miss me terribly! During which time, I clung to the songs that represented us best in my mind! Hello by Lionel Ritchie, and Because I Love You(The Post Man Song) by Stevie B.  I sang them to him every single night before bed.  I wrote him letters, and dreamed of telling him “Hello, is it me your looking for….” as he passed outside my door.  I dreamed of singing ,” Because I love you, and I’d do anything…..” except, wait…I was a chicken.  I wouldn’t actually do anything, but I dreamed I would for this guy! Teenage melodrama at it’s best people! At it’s absolute best!

When he came back from military school, we resumed our little relationship, going to the movies, group teenage movie dates, sneaking out to hair gel and shaving creaming the house of the guy that stole my dad’s baby Jesus, from our nativity, in the middle of the night, him hanging out with my family, and then my senior year we hooked each other up with our best friends.  No I am actually not kidding about my dad’s baby Jesus. Or the best friend fix up.  A kid in the closed in community where we grew up, a lawyer’s kid who was Mr. Know It All, stole our baby Jesus, and was bragging about it at school!  Well my dad was furious, because you had to buy the whole nativity family, you could just go pick up a baby Jesus at Kmart! So this time, after buy another entire nativity set, my Dad chained baby Jesus down.  I. AM. NOT. KIDDING!  Then he hid in my bedroom window and peeked out to catch Mr. Know It All, trying to steal baby Jesus #2.  Yup, that was my good ‘ol country boy daddy, who by day was actually a doctor. Not all  uncivilized-like chaining, by choking him with a chain around his neck, but drilled holes in his feet, and ran it through.  Keep in mind, I am from West Virginia! Anyway, back to my disastrous prom story!

 So of course I asked my teenage drama love interest, who went to a different school, to my senior prom.  Of course he said yes.  My parents had to pay for his tuxedo, I drove to prom, etc.  It was pre-destined to be a fabulous night! So my best friend at the time and I decided to double date.  She and my guy bff were both a year younger than me, so they were juniors.  She was the best friend for 2 years, that knew all my secrets.  She and I had slumber parties, hung out at school together, made up dance routines to Boyz to Men songs, did karaoke on a regular basis, were in the same SADD and Safe Rides group, talked about all the boys that we had crushes on, and had a ball together.  Were were , to quote Forrest Gump,” like peas and carrots.” And she knew all about X, which what we will call my prom date.
So we all met at my house, she and her date, as well as me and X.  I am in plaid, she is in red.
My momma and daddy took pictures, my grandparents were there, and as we were getting pinned with corsages in my front driveway, it started.  She started flirting with X.  My dad caught it on camera. I will show you.


See.  Told you so!  So we get to the prom, and as soon as she had an opportunity, she asked him to dance with her.  I was upset.  I told him sure, go on, I don’t care.  But deep down inside I did care.  This was my night with him, mine all mine.  And she had to go and flirt with him, and dance with him!  And how dare he! He wasn’t impervious to her charms! ARGH! So finally I danced with my senior girlfriends, and prom ended up being okay.  As he walked around the dance floor, I ignored him.  So once prom was over, one of my younger, junior class friends was having a prom lock-in, which the prom date snatcher’s older , 19 yr old date did not want to attend.  So what do you think she did? Flirted with mine! Leaned over the pool table and wiggled her bewbies in his face!  She pretended she did not know how to play pool, to let him snuggle up to her derriere, and lean over behind her, to “show her.” Yeah right!  I was so pissed off and upset! I had pinned so much on this night, and now it was ruined!  She followed him outside to watch him smoke.  She followed him around like a baby cougar in charge.  See, she had started  to hang out with other girls, ones that slept around.  She tried to talk me into it, but I was sticking to my guns, and was still far too innocent.

I still had yet to go to college, join a sorority, learn how to flirt, learn the unwritten rules of the male-female dynamic, and definitely had not learned how to be a player.  All that came a little later!  She had been learning already, and was ready to snatch my prom date.  She and several others had teased me about him being pretend, and I don’t know if it was pure fascination, or what, but she, my bff, had to go to work on that which was already known as my territory? Why? What bff does that to her supposed best friend? A prom snatching gutter queen tramp ho, that’s who. She broke my heart. So she effectively lost her best friend, did not really ever gain X, and made sure I had a terrifically craptastic one and only prom.  I was so distraught, not having mastered the art of in your face sarcasm yet, that I feigned illness and retreated to the extra bathroom floor, and curled up under the sink, with my pillow, to cry myself to sleep.  I couldn’t stand to watch the betrayal. When morning came, I left, took X home, and ripped him a new one.  Effectively ending our friendship, and whatever else it was or might have been.  I was crying and heartbroken!

So you ask why I still try to avoid her, unless I am forced to be around her? My husband tells me to get over it, it was 21 years ago! Because it brings up memories of what happened, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  That a teenage girl could do that to another girl, supposedly her bff, disgusts me. Plus I remember the double whammy heartbreak. Add that to 2 kids getting shot at my senior skip day, and the last month of my senior year was really, really hard! I did a lot of forced growing up that May, thanks to others!  And the balls! SHe did this all while wearing my mother’s borrowed jewelry! HMPH! The nerve!

So the other night, she actually left after I had to take my daughter to the bathroom.  I was actually going to speak, but she left before I had the chance.  They say karma is a , well you know….and she ended up being a single mom to 5 kids.  She is divorced from my husband’s friend’s bff.  I have heard many stories, and none sound like they were fun nor easy.  She is remarried, with a small child.  She lives near me, but I cannot bring myself to call her.  EVER.  I have no use for someone who steps all over people intentionally.  I now have the best girlfriends that a girl could ask for.  They would do anything for me, just like I would do for them.  I love fiercely and deeply, just as any of my bff’s will tell you.  I have forgiven, but I will never forget.


She was put in my life for a reason.  So I could live and learn.  But beware, this is what a prom date snatcher look like! See the gleam in her eye?

Hope you have enjoyed my little story! Thanks again to Miss Sarah for picking me to guest blog! Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!

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