This Mom’s Birthday List

bday 20001_edited-1On May 1st I will turn the ripe old age of 39.  I know, don’t I look young for my age?

I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I believe I will go the extra mile and think really hard about what I want for my birthday.  I know it’s not about the gifts, but I’ve been extra good this year.  I have even kept my house clean for almost a week straight.  I am kind beyond belief, even when I want to strangle other people that I live with.  I bathe the dog.  I spend hours planning out and then executing my plan of attack for grocery shopping to maximize what we get for the money.  I make lunch AND coffee every morning for my husband.  I send him thoughtful messages.  Although I am not a fabulous cook, I don’t let my family starve.  Did I mention I have two children???

1) Permission To Be An Adult  A night out where we have a sitter and my husband is not on the verge of falling asleep, where there is a movie on that we actually WANT to see and enough funds to catch dinner somewhere beforehand (a place where we could make *gasp* reservations??  Do they DO that in Iowa?) Not having to rush home, and maybe even some grown up fun when we GET home.  Hmmmm…I don’t ask for much, do I?

2)  BOOKS.  Not just any books.  Books by my favorite people.

I told a huge lie.  I didn’t mean to.  I told Amber Dusick that I had just bought her book. Technically I had.  It was sitting in my cart on Amazon. I was GOING to buy it.  Twice.  I wanted the free bookplate, because she’s my hero. And I said ‘penis’ on her blog comments.  Therefore it was the least I could do, right?  But then real life intervened and decided that groceries and gasoline were more important than me getting to read her book.  Sigh… For those of you living under a rock, I’m talking about the Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures book.  I’d also take any of the books from the Life Well Blogged series, because I like to support other fellow bloggers!

3)  Complaint Free Shopping. A shopping day alone or with a willing companion (who is not four years old).  I’m no shop-a-holic.  I do, however, like to have time to actually browse in stores that don’t have a toy or a dollar section.

It’s fun to go to stores without an eight year old declaring that it is the worst day of his life because I made him put the DS down and get out of the car.  To leave the house just once without Evil Genius declaring “Let’s get this over with before I vomit!” To go eat at a place that doesn’t have fries or chicken nuggets on the menu.  To be able to try on clothes without a child licking the mirror.  To go to a scrapbook store without a time limit or a little one dismembering a whole rack of stickers.  To not have to scramble to get back home to make supper.  To go to any place that sells anything without a little voice begging “Can I have that, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease????”  (For the record, Evil Genius does that too-he still won’t forgive me for telling him he couldn’t have a Lego Death Star). To have a highly caffeinated beverage without someone pouting.

Evil Genius at the Lego Store at the Mall of America.  He dreams of a Lego Death Star.  His mean wife keeps telling him no.

Evil Genius at the Lego Store at the Mall of America. He dreams of a Lego Death Star. His mean wife keeps telling him no.

(Truth:  I love my family, but sometimes I just need a day away.)

4)  Recharge  A massage or something relaxing…HA HA HA!  I DID actually get a certificate for a massage once.  It was very, very nice.

For the record, my husband has informed me multiple times that he does NOT do subtle.  I have to flat out tell him or smack him.  So honey, here’s my list…  I want to see Iron Man 3 and Star Trek: Into Darkness, for when you take me out.  Maybe we can even hold hands in public or something.  Ooooooooooooooo…

I’d be happy with a bottle of wine and a nice homecooked dinner, but let’s pretend for a minute that I could have those other things I want, k?

Today I also dumped my purse out for Kelley’s Breakroom on her Facebook page.  My husband thought that was really weird, but I thought it was kind of fun!  So come over and check it out!  Tomorrow catch me over at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, where I’ll be rambling about that special place where people understand me.  Also, don’t forget if you have a crazy question for Evil Genius, send it to me at thesadderbutwisergirlisme at gmail dot com with “Dear Dr Genius” in the subject line. 

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