Starbucks | The Sadder But Wiser Girl

This is me, except I can’t fit into a Diet Sunkist box.

It’s Saturday and I’m running out of caffeine. These are the days when I wonder why I drink the stuff in the first place? Oh yeah, because it ROCKS!

We had a little snafu with the bank this week and now are overdrawn until the middle of next week. Yikes! We’re not starving or anything, because I’m a darn good grocery shopper, but because of my addiction I am OUT OF MY DIET SUNKIST LEMONADE. Sniff. Yes I know, first world problems. Didn’t I say I was going to give that up? I tried, I REALLY tried!

My Mom came up the last couple of days, thus postponing my caffeine withdrawal a bit because she like caffeine too. I drank waaaaaay too much Coke. My other love is a big cup of Coke with crushed iced in it. When I was kid, that was what we used to get at the soda fountain on the military base we lived near, and at the little place that had a soda fountain in the tiny town in Maine we lived in. I can’t remember the name of the store, but it was across the street from the Five and Dime Store. Remember those????

I guess I need to go to PA-Popaholics Anonymous. Hi, I’m Sarah and it’s been three days since my last diet Sunkist. Or maybe that’s what you say when you go to confession?

I found an old bottle of Coke Zero in the back of my fridge and downed that. I know somewhere there is a two liter of Diet Coke lurking in my house. Not sure I want to go there, I think I’d rather have coffee. I like coffee, but the kind I make at home I have to really be in the mood for, and the iced coffee I love so much happens to be something I have to put a little forethought into. We all know how good I am at that!

I have just enough cash that I COULD go buy a twelve pack of Diet Sunkist Lemonade, two McDonald’s iced coffees, four 32 ounce refills of coke at Kum & Go, or a big jug of Lipton diet Citrus Green tea. I could also get a small Starbucks frappucino, but I’m not stupid enough to do that. I can only go to the next town though anyway, because I don’t have a lot of gas. Oh decisions, decisions. I will probably just stay here and suffer, head pounding.

I’ll let you know how it goes. I’ve never heard of anyone dying of caffeine withdrawal, but knowing my luck I’d be the first!

I may have to plan ahead for the next few days. This is a concoction that takes a bit of thinking ahead, but is awesome! Cold coffee+coconut milk+agave nectar=pretty darn good.

Ah, my little princess. Don’t grow up too fast. Being a grown up isn’t much fun a lot of the time.

A couple of times recently Princess Confident has announced, “When I grow up, I will get to do whatever I want!”

I replied to this, “Ok honey, you just keep thinking that.” And maybe she will, being the confident little thing that she is.

I sure can’t say that’s necessarily true for me. In the last year with all of this unemployment stuff, I had several people ask me what I really wanted to do. The truth is I don’t know. I have no idea what I really want to do when I grow up. I’m 38 years old, and let’s face it, I don’t feel like a grown-up.

I wanted to be a teacher most of my life. That didn’t pan out well, now did it? I guess being a published writer is my next goal. HA HA.

She has told me on several occasions that she wants to be a doctor when she grows up. Or a cowgirl. They’re so close, don’t you think? The Professor thinks he wants to be a baseball player. This is new, because up until this announcement he has wanted to be a racecar driver. But then again, he has also informed me that he will take over for one of the school’s fourth grade teachers when she gets too old to teach. Hmmmm… that easy, huh? I must admit that I admire my husband in the fact that he has always known he wanted to be an engineer, even though it took him a long time to get there. I guess that’s how you know you’re a grown up, you know what you want to do?

A lot of grown-ups have bucket lists. Someone recently asked me about my bucket list. I guess I really don’t have one. I have joked about taking pictures of different buckets and putting them on here. I guess I don’t really have one because the things that I really want to do seem so out of reach. I’m horribly, horribly practical. Lack of money can really do that to a person. No wonder I have been depressed. If you can’t have dreams, then what is worth reaching for?

Isn’t the bucket list what you want to do before you kick the bucket. Well I don’t necessarily have a bucket list. I just have some things that I would someday would like to do. Horribly impractical and probably will never happen. But here goes.

I would like to learn to play the cello. And the guitar. I’ve tried to play the guitar on my own, but I really need lessons for a grown-up.

I would like to see another Broadway musical. Or two.

I want to see mountains. I just want to drive to see mountains. I don’t have to stay. I just want to see them. But then again there are so many places I want to go. I want to see Seattle. I just want to go there. I think it would be cool. For that matter, I have never been west of Nebraska, and I have been in a lot of places! I would like to go back to Maine (where I am from) with my husband so he can see it too. I want to go back to Chicago (where I lived nearby for a short while as a child) and see all of the museums and Shedd Aquarium. I would love to go back to Disneyworld, but this time with the kids. I’ve been there several time, I just want to take them once. And the biggie-I want to go overseas. I have never been out of the country except for Canada. I want to go to Australia and China.

I want to go back to school. But of course, I have to figure out what I really want to do. Therein lies my problem…

So that’s really it. I don’t want much, do I? I’m hoping that once our little situation gets straightened out that perhaps we can start going places. Right now, I’d just like to be able to occasionally buy myself a frapuccino.