Theme Thursday: Kids (Mine, Yours, Theirs…)

Theme Thursday

Theme Thursday is a weekly happening where bloggers come together and link up their takes on a theme chosen by Jenn at Something Clever 2.0.  This week’s theme is Other People’s Kids. 

I readily admit that I had a lot of trouble doing this week’s theme post.  It wasn’t necessarily the topic.  After all, I work with kids.  I went to school to work with kids.  I like kids a lot!  After playing around with a lot of different things, I finally just started writing what came out of my head easiest.  I don’t think this post is really about other people’s kids anymore.  Oh well, I’m ADD, remember?  And my throat is really sore.  And my own kid won’t poop.  I’m a little distracted.

Sometimes I can’t help but shake my head at some of the stuff I’ve seen.  Don’t worry, my kids are the cause of some of the head shaking.

This one has raised an eyebrow or two.

This one has raised an eyebrow or two.

My kids certainly aren’t perfect.  I’m sure that people that don’t know me have passed judgement on my kids and/or me on a number of occasions.  I feel like I’m not qualified to judge on other kids and how that kid is acting at that particular time.  I don’t know what their situation is, or if their children have special needs, or if maybe the kid just needs a nap really badly.

I never miss an opportunity to use this picture!!!!

I never miss an opportunity to use this picture!!!!

I’m sure that people wonder what the hell is going on when my kids are throwing a tantrum in Target.  The truth is I probably told them no and they aren’t getting their way.  Imagine that!  Sometimes though, there is stuff I see that just screams to be made fun of.  Like this:

The sad thing is that I've seen this in real life.  More than once.

The sad thing is that I’ve seen this in real life. More than once.

After all, we do live in an era where shows like “Toddlers and Tiaras” has viewership.  All I can think when I see references to it is “What are you people smoking???” Never seen the show, never will.  My daughter is referred to in this blog as Princess Whatever-We-Are Calling-Her-That-Day.  We strive to make sure she believes that she is NOT a princess.

There is no royalty in our house, though she thinks she is the queen.

There is no royalty in our house, though she thinks she is the queen.

Today Princess It’s-All-About-Me announced to me that she no longer likes princesses.  She likes kitties.  That is fine with me, other than the fact that I have now had to sit through Aristocats four times in the last month.

My daughter.  She thinks she is all that...

My daughter. She thinks she is all that… I may call her Princess here, but we don’t let her think she’s one!

We really try to make our kids NOT be spoiled brats.  Sometimes they can be very trying.  We have to have a sense of humor about this stuff.

I can't imagine where they get it from...

I can’t imagine where they get it from… Evil Genius in the fort he made.

But really, when you think about it, there are some pretty historically bad parents.  These parents make some of today’s parents pale in comparison.  Like Joan Crawford.  Or Darth Vader…  Think about how their kids turned out.

parent darth

The truth is, no matter how good of a parent you are, no matter what you are doing, there is going to be someone who is going to disagree and tell you that your are totally raising your kids wrong.  I was born in the seventies.  We grew knowing the Bill Cosby style of parenting.  Now that’s probably considered wrong!  You can’t yell “Let the beatings commence!” or say “Let me describe the brain damage.”anymore without getting some seriously judgemental looks.

I'm not judging.

I’m not judging.

So in summary… unless it’s something totally, utterly wrong, I’m not going to be openly judging you, or your kids.  I’m nice like that.

Be sure to check out all of the posts at the Theme Thursday link up.

Princess Contrary and the Chocolate Controversy

GIVE ME A CHOCOLATE KISS!  I WANT A HERSHEY’S KISS!  My daughter is my very own Veruca Salt!

This actually happened last week while I was dying.  As a matter of fact, SO much stuff has happened lately that I could probably write a pretty thick novel…

It was inevitable.  Sooner or later, she was gonna crack.

I’ve been sick.  Not just the sniffles but some sort of stomach thing that I can’t even eat saltines without feeling lousy.  Which is too bad, because I LOVE saltines.  My kids have been as good as gold for the first two days of this thing, but as it drags on longer and longer there was no doubt in my mind that my daughter was going to revert to her normal devious ways.

Now remember, we have the potty issues.  Not today, she actually pooped on the potty like a good girl without a fight.  This was AFTER we spent time in the bathroom removing the remaining streaks of poop from all bathroom surfaces from the first day I was sick (when I was truly not even able to get off the couch).  She cleaned it all up like a trooper.  This was when I started feeling woozy and had to head for the couch and my big glass of water.  Not too long afterwards she went #2, and invited me up to see.  I went up, investigated, and started back downstairs, saying, “I suppose you can have a Hershey’s kiss for that.”

“How about a Hershey’s nugget?”  She hollered.  I had bought nuggets instead of almond kisses for myself.  I convinced myself that I got an extra ounce for the price-12 oz for $2.50 instead of 11 oz.  They are ok, but sickeningly sweet.  I opened the big glass pumpkin and grabbed a nugget, which was probably a good choice since we were almost out of the kisses.  As in my husband’s caramel kisses, which lasted about two days.  Don’t mess with his caramel kisses!  I put it on the table for her and went back to the couch.

She came down, saw the nugget, and turned to me, “I want a Hershey’s kiss.”  Seriously kid?

“No, eat the nugget.”  Did you know those are the very words that cause a child to morph into a demon?

She does this to us CONSTANTLY.  She will change her mind seventy three times a day.  I just get tired of it.  We started putting our foot down a while ago, because we’re trying to get her to stop doing this.  If you think I’m being petty, that’s your opinion.  You don’t have to live with her.  I’m not sure which age has been the most interesting to deal with-the terrible twos, the trying threes, or the frustrating fours.

“I want a kiss.” she said snottily.  “NO.”  I said firmly.  She continued to yell at me.  This stretched into several minutes of her screaming and crying.  At one point she threw the nugget.  I grabbed it and took it away, partly because she had thrown it, partly because I didn’t want the dog eating it.  I told her not once, but several times that she could either live with it or go to her room until she calmed down.

The screaming and crying dissipated, but after a time she walked up to me and said her meanest voice:  “If you EVER give me a Hershey’s nugget again, I will get rid of you FOREVER!”

My literary contribution to this story is that right then I flashed to the scene from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” (that’s also a book by Roald Dahl, by the way, which is why I mentioned “literary”).  I pictured Veruca Salt, right before she falls into the chocolate river.  I don’t have any rivers of chocolate in my house as punishment, so I did the next best thing.  I carried her back up to her room and closed the door.  After a time, the screaming stopped, the door was opened and she decided to be civil even without chocolate.

I have to say that although I am a girl and I lived with one as a sister, I’m rather unprepared for the drama that comes with this one.  I hear it’s only going to get worse…

Behold the power of Hersheys.

PS-I don’t think a chocolate river would be punishment to me.  I’d give almost anything to be immersed in chocolate, except on that particular day when the very thought of chocolate made me want to hurl.  I must have really been sick!