Who Am I Wearing?: Clothes By Comfortable, Lack of Selfie Skills By Me

I'd like to thank the little people... the little person that made me the crown, that is...

I’d like to thank the little people… the little person that made me the crown, that is…

Yay!  It’s awards season!  I’m so excited because I can finally share my sexy wardrobe off to the whole world!  Let me tell you, my everyday fashion is about as hot as you can get.  Tie-dyed or purple, yoga pants or sweatpants, I’m pulled together like nobody’s business!

Now I must point out that while my fashion skills are impeccable, my selfie skills are only subpar.  I rarely take pictures of myself because I have this great talent of blinding myself with the flash.

IMG_0138-MIX (2)

I can assure you this whole outfit cost me less than $2. It’s a pity you can’t see my really cool brown sweatpants.

Sooner or later, as in the image below, I just give up and have my kids take my picture… technically not a “selfie” per se, but my “self” IS in the photo.

I like to call this one "Don't laugh at me or I will slap you with my freakishly big hand!"

I affectionately refer to this photo as “Don’t laugh at me or I will slap you with my freakishly big hand!”

Did I mention that I’m as graceful as an elephant?  Here I’m wearing an icepack by 3M.  (I’d suffered an unfortunate run-in with a paper cutter at work that very day….)

Even at work I'm a fashion plate.  I'm thinking that the no lipgloss of any kind look is going to be the in thing any day now.

See?  Even at work I’m a fashion plate. I’m thinking that the no lipgloss of any kind look is going to be the in thing any day now.

So to heck with glamour.  As you can see, I have none.  What are YOU wearing?  (And I don’t mean in a creepy and/or Jake from State Farm kind of way.)

More like this…

who-are-you-wearing-2Ahem, as I was saying-tell us who and/or what you’re wearing this awards season.  “We really want to know, #WhoAreYOUWearingMom ? Tweet it, share it on Instagram, or, if you’re a blogger, link up your own post by following the linky below – feel free to copy the graphic above. The linkup will be open until Sunday night. This Award Season, let’s celebrate real mom fashion!”  And don’t forget to see who everyone else is wearing by visiting them too!

Cohosted by the following extra stylish ladies:

Katia of I Am The Milk

Jen of My Skewed View

Jean at Mama, Schmama

Sarah at Left Brain Buddha

Stephanie at Mommy, For Real

Deb at Urban Moo Cow

Rachel at Tao of Poop

Jane at Nothing by the Book

Kristi at Finding Ninee

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Halloween Whine With Lots of (Cheap) Cheese

I happened to be on Facebook today (imagine that) and saw a costume that made me think “That’s awesome” and “How I miss those days when I actually got to dress up and have fun on Halloween!”

And of course I just had to share…

I don’t actually have permission to use the image, so I’m asking you to first pretend that I’m wearing this as a costume, then you can click on the link and see it for yourself…

Right?  Wine in a box?  Is that not brilliant?  You can bring your wine right with you!  And then you talk someone into dressing as cheese.  Get it?

Speaking of cheese, this got me to thinking about my post about cheap costumes from last year.  It was pretty good.  I even laughed as I read it.  I forgot that this is where “Tie-Dye Girl” came from, therefore it’s a classic.

I revamped it a little bit and decided to add it on right here so you don’t even have to leave this page to read it (even though you had to sort of leave the page to look at the wine in a box costume.) Isn’t that nice of me?

Halloween Costumes for The Broke, Lazy, And Uninspired

So it’s October, it’s almost Halloween, and you need (or even WANT) to dress up for Halloween.  But you’re broke, or busy, or lazy, or uninspired, or maybe even all of these things.  You’re in luck-I just happen to keep having all kinds of ideas for Halloween costumes!  These are one step above cutting holes in your white sheet and being a ghost (or a kleenex).  Aren’t you glad you have me to help you out?

Will you get rocks in your trick or treat bag if you dress as the Charlie Brown ghost for Halloween?

Will you get rocks in your trick or treat bag if you dress as the Charlie Brown ghost for Halloween?  If you really want to take the time to do it, the tutorial for this is also on Instructables.com

1.  Nudist-Take off all your clothes.  You can also do a variation of this and yell “We’re going streaking!” over and over like in Old School, and be a streaker.  Note:  This probably isn’t such a good idea in colder climates.  Or places where police will be patrolling.  Or places where children will be present.  Or other people will be present, period.

2.  Jack of All Trades-Find a bunch of hats.  Put them all on at once.  Get it?

3.  Person Who Just Got Up-Get out of bed.  Don’t comb your hair. Stay in your pjs.  May not work well for people who sleep in their undies or in the nude (then a different costume may be for you-see #1 or #6).

4.  Poop-Dress in head to toe brown.  Try to get people to guess who you are, like telling them you really stink.  I don’t advise trying to make it smell authentic, because that’s just gross.  Oh yeah, I guess you could be chocolate, too.  Feel free to add scent to that.

5.  Laundry-If you have one of those cheap round laundry baskets sitting around, cut a hole in the bottom just big enough to wiggle yourself in.  Stuff some laundry around yourself.  Now here’s the dilemna-are you clean laundry or dirty laundry?  Clean laundry is nice-you could add dryer sheets and smell extra good.  I think it would work especially well if you happen to have a fever, because it would be just like the laundry came out of the dryer, right?

6.  Superhero-If you have a blanket that can be a cape, tie it around your neck.  What you wear with it and use as props determines what superhero you are.  Don an apron and rubber gloves-you’re Super Dishwasher!  I personally like Captain Undergarments myself.  A mask just adds to the effect…

7.  Clean Person-Wrap a towel around yourself and put a shower cap on.  Carry a bottle of shower gel, a loofah, a shower poof, you get the picture.  Wearing stuff under the towel is optional, but make sure that towel is secure!  I just happen to have a new shower head that we haven’t installed yet-oh the possibilities are endless with this one!

IMG_0532

See? My kids already know the art of the cheap costume and they don’t even know it!

8.  Bag Lady-We all seem to have those reusable grocery bags laying around (if you don’t, I’m sending the environment police after you!)  Get a bunch.  Carry them.

9. Mom Like Me-Don’t sleep the night before.  Don’t do your hair.  Wear a wrinkled top and yoga pants.  Carry a coffee cup.  Talk in incoherent sentences.  Bonus if you can get a child to wrap themself around your leg.  (No offense to most parents who actually have their act together, this is just me on a normal day.)

10.  Target Employee-Have a red shirt?  Khaki pants?  You could probably find a nametag template somewhere, but again, remember that this may require a little work.  You’ll have to be really nice and helpful, because remember you work at Target, not Walmart.

11.  Art-Find a big picture frame.  Take out the glass and backing so you just have the frame.  Carry it with you and hold it up so you’re like someone in a painting.  It’s art, so you can do whatever you want.

12.  Fan Club-Find two small fans.  Make a sign that says something positive like “We’re you’re biggest fans” and attach it to yourself.  What would be even better?  Have a partner and you can follow them around as his or her very own fan club.  Unless it’s someone dressed as Charlie Sheen, I don’t think he has any fans anymore.

13.  Fashion Police-Find a whistle.  Dress in what you consider fashionable.  Make a badge of some sort.  Blow your whistle whenever you see things like people wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

So see, you’ll never be without ideas for costumes as long as I am around.  I’m the queen of lame costumes, as you can see…

Protecting the earth from evil by dying them hideous shades of tie-dye!  Look up in the sky, it's a peacock, it's a rainbow, it's TIE-DYE GIRL!

Protecting the earth from evil by dying them hideous shades of tie-dye! Look up in the sky, it’s a peacock, it’s a rainbow, it’s TIE-DYE GIRL!

The Totally Tubular Story Of Tie-Dye Girl and Her Amazing Rubber Chicken

secret

Welcome to this month’s edition of The Secret Subject Swap, Take 2!  Presented to you by the lovely Karen of Baking in a Tornado, it all begins with participating bloggers sending in top secret prompts ahead of time.  Each blogger is then assigned one of these prompts and the resulting posts are all shared at the same time!

My prompt:  You had a horrendous day with your family. You argued with everyone even after you got a call from your son’s principal regarding his bad behavior. After a couple of glasses of wine, you fall asleep ready to start over tomorrow.  The next morning, no one was home. Everyone gone. No note, just looks like they disappeared.  What do you do?

It was submitted by: http://www.100lbCountdown.com

So be afraid, be very afraid of what I’m about to do with this one:

I woke up that morning with a pounding headache, laying across my bed, still in my clothes from the night before.  It took me several minutes to fully realize that I was awake, and that I hadn’t even bothered to get under the covers.  I knew I was exhausted last night, and the wine didn’t help, but this was a bit extreme.

That wasn’t all that was amiss.  My husband wasn’t there either.

“That’s funny.”  I thought, “Usually he sleeps in on the weekend.”

I walked downstairs, fully expecting to see my husband sitting in the chair with his laptop and both kids watching Saturday morning cartoons.  But no one was around.  Not even the animals.  It was like the whole world had disappeared.

Just like in the movies.

Had the world ended and I missed it?

Was the world ending?  I should have realized the signs... The cats within feet of each other?  Apocalypse is nigh...

Was the world ending? I should have realized the signs:  The cats within feet of each other? Apocalypse is nigh…

I made my way to the back porch and opened the door.  The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I could hear the neighbor kids plain as day.

So much for that theory.  The world was still there.

I got a lump in my throat.  I tried to remember what exactly had started the argument the night before.  There was a phone call from the school.  The principal.  Something about a note.  The Professor was in serious trouble.  Evil Genius was livid.  And The Princess was not liking that someone else was taking the limelight from her.

I was upset, and the wine went down easily.  It was all blurry after that, and I barely remember going into the bedroom to lie down.

And now it was so hard to think… especially with that loud whirring sound.  Wait a minute-that whirring sound, WHERE WAS IT COMING FROM?

I followed it to the basement door.  The secret passage.  I had always wanted wanted a house with a secret passage.  Evil Genius had come through and made pantry shelves that swung open in place of the door. Being an old house, the uneven floor and plaster walls made it not quite so secret.  But it was stuck!

Pushing with all of my weight, I was able to slide the shelves aside.  I peered into the dark.  Dammit, the light wouldn’t work.  I grabbed the lantern and headed down into the darkness.

The whirring sound grew louder as I approached the brick wall.  But there was nothing there but the crawlspace.  That icky, gross place under the house where the basement stopped.  It was nothing but dirt and bugs.  But the sound was driving me crazy, and somehow I knew that it must have something to do with my family vanishing.

I crawled up on the freezer and put my hand upon the wood. Only it didn’t feel like wood.  It felt like… nothing.  I pushed my hand through until I could not see my arm any more. I pulled back in horror-what was going on?  Was this some sort of weird joke?  I pushed forward again, this time with both hands and the rest of my body. And I fell forward right into the nothingness.  And smacked my face hard against the floor.  Because putting my arms out to stop myself would make sense.

After a moment of lying there upon the cold floor, I sat up and opened my eyes.

Instead of that icky, dirty, buggy space there was a room.  Not just any room, like a command center.  Like a batcave.  Or that super secret room they won’t ever let you see at Target.

A voice boomed out of the shadows “Welcome back Tie-Dye Girl!  We thought you were going to sleep all day.”

I turned, very slowly, only to come face to face with…nothing.

“Huh?  I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  I replied.

The voice sounded very annoyed.  “Really?  Again?  Do we have to go over this EVERY TIME????”  Roger, we really need to quit using the brain eraser on our agents.”

“Ummmm… brain eraser?”  That would explain so very much about my life…

I heard a very loud sigh from, well, WHEREVER that voice was coming from.  Mumbling, angry whispering. “We’re giving you the short version.  We’re facing a world crisis and all reserve super agents have been activated.  That includes you and the agents assigned to you that also happen to be your family.”

“World crisis?” I inquired.

“A caffeine and chocolate shortage of massive proportions.  It seems that . Your son, The Professor, intercepted a message that was meant for the Evil Genius yesterday.”

“Wait a minute.  My husband is the Evil Genius.”

“No he’s actually the Not So Evil Genius.  The name just stuck.  The actual Evil Genius is somebody else.”

Suddenly things were starting to fall into place.  Sort of.  “So my family isn’t missing? They’re saving the world?”

” No ma’am they are assisting the people saving the world.”  The voice replied.

“I can’t say that I’m really understanding what you’re telling me.”

“You have a job to do. YOU have to stop the madness.  You’re our only hope.”

That’s when it hit me.  “Oh.My.God.  I’m an Avenger.”

I heard something that sounded like a forehead being smacked.  And then laughter.  Lots of laughter.  As a matter of fact, the laughter went on for about ten minutes.

“Actually, not quite.  Here’s the story.  Someone gave Tony Stark a magic mirror for his birthday, he’s so busy looking at himself that he won’t answer his phone. Thor had to attend some hair product convention because Fabio backed out at the last minute.  Captain America has been trying so hard to catch up to modern day technology that he discovered the internet and we can’t drag him away.  He muttered something about games called ‘Bejeweled Blitz’ and ‘Candy Crush’ when we talked to him.  The Hulk is in an anger management session.  Black Widow is nowhere to be found.  And nobody cares about Hawkeye.  So yeah, you’re it.  So get into uniform and await your instructions.”

“So I guess it’s up to me.”  After rummaging around for several minutes, I found my superhero outfit:

Protecting the earth from evil by dying them hideous shades of tie-dye!  Look up in the sky, it's a peacock, it's a rainbow, it's TIE-DYE GIRL!

Protecting the earth from evil by dying them hideous shades of tie-dye! Look up in the sky, it’s a peacock, it’s a rainbow, it’s TIE-DYE GIRL!

“Take this rubber chicken and place it at these coordinates.  This will disable the caffeine sucking machine and restore the world to its natural balance.”

“That’s it?  I was really hoping for something a bit more, um, interesting.”

“Dammit Tie-Dye Girl, do you really want to exist in a world where this is no caffeine OR chocolate?  We’re losing precious time!  Not to mention that the rest of your family would really like to be done with dishwashing duty.  You are welcome to switch places with one of them if you wish.”

“Okay”  I said quickly.  “Give me the rubber chicken.”

The next thing I knew I was transported to the most vile place on the face of the Earth.  A place where few venture into and even fewer make it out of alive. Yes, I was in the Wal-Mart bathroom.

From the middle stall emerged a man who looked remarkably like Dermot Mulrooney.  Or was it Dylan McDermott?  “Tie-dye Girl.  So we meet again.”

Again?  We’d met before?  I stood staring at the guy for a really long time.  A REALLY long time.  This was because I couldn’t remember his name.  Was it the memory eraser or was it just my brain?  Dang it he really looked familiar too.  And what was I supposed to do????

Then I heard a voice in my head “Remember the rubber chicken.  Use the rubber chicken…”

So I closed my eyes, and threw the chicken over his head.  Whatever force the was guiding me wedged that rubber chicken smack in the middle of the spinning caffeine sucking machine.  It stopped the machine dead.  Right there in the Wal-Mart bathroom…

The world rejoiced.  The Avengers were so thankful that they took me to the movies.  It was the dollar movie and I’d seen it before, but it was really cool getting to hang out with actual superheroes.  And Starbucks was so thrilled that they gave me a lifetime supply of free frappucinos.

And my family?  Back home and off of dirty dish duty. Until the next time I need to save the world.  I hear there may be a wine shortage.  Nooooooooooooooooooooooo…

IMG_1205

And of course in celebration I enjoyed some wine with my favorite superhero…

Now see what other talented bloggers have written!  Here are the other participants in this month’s swap take 2: 

http://www.menopausalmom.com                                Menopausal Mother

http://BakingInATornado.com                            Baking In A Tornado

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com             Evil Joy Speaks

http://www.100lbCountdown.com                      100lb Countdown

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                   Follow me home . .

http://dinoheromommy.com/                  Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/     Stacy Sews and Schools

http://thisisdiscoveringme.wordpress.com/              Discovering Me 

http://www.itsyummi.com                                      It’s Yummilicious

http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                         Dates 2 Diapers

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.com/     Confessions of a part-time working mom

Theme Thursday: Things I Love So Much I Want To Marry Them

Theme Thursday

It’s Theme Thursday!  Each week Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 selects a theme and we faithfully follow by writing a post about it.  This week’s theme is “Things I Love”, which is FABULOUS because I have already written such a post-naturally I figured why not repackage it into a Theme Thursday post!

Theme Thursday:  Kid tested, mother approved, or something like that.

I know what you’re thinking-Oh hell no, not THIS post again.  I just reblogged it not that long ago, but hey, it IS slightly different from the last two and I spelled “zinfandel” right this time!  I’m actually hoping you are a new follower and are reading this for the first time instead of the third as many (ok, a few people.  Really it’s probably only two people). Upon rewriting this post, I was bitterly disappointed that I couldn’t find a video clip of Pee-Wee Herman saying “If you love it, why don’t you marry it?  Heh heh!”  I actually despise Pee-Wee, but I can’t help but think of that whenever I hear that phrase.  There are a few things that I love, besides my husband, kids, and family, of course!  You could say that I love them so much I might marry them, only I am already married and that would be wrong…

Sooooo, you ask, what do I love?  Hang on, I’m going to tell you!

diet sunkist lemonade

Diet Sunkist Lemonade Mmmmmmm, I keep saying I’m going to quit, but I keep going back.  Some might say I am addicted.  I say I just like lemonade.

rainbath

Neutrogena Pear and Green Tea Body Wash  It’s like a little spa in my shower.  It smells so good, I look forward to showering so I can smell it.  Is that weird?

Dark-chocolate

Dark chocolate  It’s health food, right?  I like the really dark stuff, but not so dark it’s bitter.  Dove dark chocolate with almonds rocks.  Hershey’s used to make a very dark chocolate that had blueberries, cranberries, and some sort of nut in it.  In a pinch I’ll settle for milk chocolate, but I prefer the dark stuff.

ipod

My Ipod I have a 16 gig ipod.  My music is extremely important to me.  I don’t make big purchases very often, but this one was well worth it.  I like the fact that I still have room to put more of my favorite songs on it.  I have some pretty weird taste in music-it’s so nice to be able to listen to what I want when I want it.

tevas

Footwear:  Tevas for warm weather, Merrells in cold weather  Or as my husband calls them, weird shoes.  I don’t care!  I’m not a “shoe” person.  I’m all about comfort, and it’s very rare that I wear anything but highly comfortable footwear.  I own Tevas in three different colors, and Merrells in two.

tie dye

Tie-dye  It’s obvious that I love tie-dye, all you have to do is see the profile pic that I use virtually everywhere!  I don’t know what it is about it, I just love it.  Maybe it’s the uniqueness of each piece, no two are ever exactly alike, kind of like snowflakes.  Note:  I was wearing tie-dye long before it was considered in fashion.

method-detox-lg

Method products  All natural, non-toxic, and affordable!  I can’t stand to breathe in any kind of fumes when I clean.  I don’t exactly need excuses not to clean.  These smell so good-though my husband claims the green antibacterial cleaner smells like pee (I disagree).  The Lavender is my favorite.

neutrogena body lotion

Neutrogena Body Lotion  In addition to the great smelling body wash, we have the great smelling body lotion.  I don’t wear cologne, except once in a great while.  I don’t feel I have to-this stuff smells so good.  I buy the super duper giant bottle and it lasts me a very, very long time.

sutter home white zin

Sutter Home White Zinfandel  I have been spelling the word “zinfandel” incorrectly for years, which is sad since I love this kind of wine.  It’s my little weekend delight-at the end of every week I get to savor a glass or two of this good stuff.  I must admit it’s not my very favorite, but when I can buy a huge bottle at Target for $11 every few weeks I’ll take it!

I don't have cheese with my wine OR my whine.

I don’t have cheese with my wine OR my whine.

Relax Riesling  When I’m feeling wealthier this stuff is wonderful.  This is my very favorite wine.  Also, the bottle looks really cool on your table.  Win win.

scentsy_candle_wax

Incense/candles/scentsy/stuff that makes your house smell awesome  Self explanatory.

Yes I love some pretty incredible things.  What do you love?

Now that you are rolling your eyes at me, go to Something Clever 2.0 under Theme Thursday and check out what other people love.  Heck, maybe you want to be amazing and write a super quick post about the stuff that you love and link up before Thursday is over and done! Really, I’m not going to stop you.

REBLOG: Things I Love So Much I Want To Marry Them (Sorry Honey…)

In the spirit of Christmas, here are a few of my favorite things! 😀

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

I thought it would be fun to do a post about some of the things I love, besides my family and friends of course!  I know that life is not about what you have.  But there are some things that if I had to live without them, while I would survive I would be very very sad.

Diet Sunkist Lemonade-A mysterious illness earlier this year robbed me of my ability to enjoy Diet Coke.  This other pop is the bomb.  I have loved it for a good portion of my adult life.  Unfortunately it’s very hard to find sometimes.  I’m addicted.  When I can’t have it I’m very sad.  But I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to, huh?

Neutrogena pear and green tea body wash-It’s like a little spa in my shower.  It smells so good, I look forward to showering so I can smell it. …

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Awards! I Got Awards!

Oh you meant “A-Wards”, not “Wards”…

I got an award!  Then I got another award!  All right, I’ll try it.  I’m never good at these thingies.  And as I have discovered, this is a LOT of work!  Let’s see here…

The Beautiful Blogger Award

First up we have the Beautiful Blogger Award. I’m assuming it refers to the blog itself, and not the writer?  What?  Yes to both?  Ok.

I was nominated for the Beautiful Blogger award by momtimes4, a blog that I thoroughly enjoy reading every day!  She takes all the little things that happen in her house and draws cute little illustrations to go with them.  If you’re a Mom, whether you have two or six, you’ll be able to relate to these little stories and pictures!

Beautiful Blogger Award Rules:

The idea behind the Beautiful Blogger Award is to recognize some of the bloggers we follow for their hard work and inspiration.

1. Copy the Beautiful Blogger Award logo and place it in your post.

2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.

3. Tell 7 things about yourself.

4. Nominate 7 other bloggers for their own Beautiful Blogger Award, and comment on their blogs to let them know.

7 things about myself (I hope they don’t have to be interesting!)

1.  I am the daughter of a Navy Submariner.  I grew up all over.  I was born in Maine and wound up in Iowa, where my parents are from.  We moved back here when I was 15.  I haven’t been able to get away since.  Somewhere there is a giant tractor beam holding me in here!

2.  I am a geek.  Challenge me to a game of Star Wars trivia and I will kick your behind.

3.  I have two children, ages 4 and 7.  I also have a husband and a black cat who both hate people.  And a dog that doesn’t hate people at all.

4.  If I had better fundage (is that a word?)  I would return to vegetarianism and buy all of my food at the local co-op that I’m a member of.  It is the best smelling place in the whole wide world.  I’m the one who shops there and cries because the only thing I can afford to buy there are spices and some of the bulk foods.  Someday…

5.  I don’t have a job at the moment due to no fault of my own (and it sounds like I’m not alone).  Since I already have a degree, the next step is naturally going to get my Masters in SOMETHING.  Naturally, I don’t have any clue what it would be in.  My interests lie in writing, wellness and health, nutrition, and all of that jazz.  Someday I hope to figure out what would best suit me.  And then win the lottery so I can afford to go to school.

6.  I love NASCAR.  I even got to go to a race this year.

7.  If it’s not chocolate or caffeinated, I probably don’t consume it regularly.  I’m trying to change that…

Ok, enough of that-now the best part is that I get to nominate seven other people whose blogs I thoroughly enjoy!  The only bad part of this is that I have to CHOOSE.  And I’m assuming that I can only choose WordPress blogs?  And I know how some of you feel about the awards on here (Becca at Lady Or Not, that’s why you’re not on this list or I would SOOOOO nominate you!)

Atlantamomofthree– She JUST got this award.  Now she’s getting it again, because she’s awesome.

Motherhood Is An Art-I love this blog.  One lovely Mommy to three lovely children.  Her son Bency cracks me up!

Adrea In Wonderland-This is one of the first blogs I followed on WordPress. She is just a neat person, and posts some really interesting stuff.  If you are a C.S. Lewis fan you’ll appreciate all of the Alice in Wonderland references.

My Brain on Kids-Funny Lady.  She is Adam Levine’s future girlfriend, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Cloudy, With A Chance of Wine-Funny Mom, fellow wine lover.

Highly Irritable Blog-Not only does she write the funny stuff, she writes some wonderful stories as well.

Marj Hatzell is The Domestic Goddess-She claims to give Stay-At-Home Moms a bad name.  She does anything but.

 

The Liebster Blog Award

This was awarded to me by Valerie over at Atlantamomofthree.  And I agree, I thought it said Lobster Award when I first saw it too.

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way of acknowledging each other and is for blogs with 200 or less followers. This is also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers!  When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer 11 questions from the person who nominated you. You pass the award onto 11 other blogs (make sure you tell them you nominated them!) and ask them 11 questions. You are not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated you!

11 Random Facts about Me:

I despise crunchy vegetables, except for sweet bell peppers.  See my next fact for why that is so ironic.

I was a vegetarian for many years, and a vegan for a year while they tried to figure out why I was covered with an eczema type rash, why certain types of food made me sick, and why I was doubled over with stomach pain (nothing was ever figured out, other than the rash)

I have a famous friend, Marcus Collins of the Texas Tenors (The gorgeous blonde).  We went to college together. He is the sweetest person in the whole world, and he IS as genuine as he seems.  If you didn’t watch America’s Got Talent the season they went to the finals, you should take some time and check them out.  What they do is unique, and great stuff to listen to!  I also shook Ana Gasteyer’s hand once, but we’re not friends.

I went to school to be a music teacher-I have had to at least learn the basics for every basic band/orchestra instrument there is.  I found out that it was NOT my lot in life to be a brass player (I guess I kind of knew that already).  It sounds more like a dying cow than music…

People I hope to meet someday: Ellen Degeneres!  I am a huge fan of hers!  I’d also like to meet Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, Seth McFarlane, George Lucas, Demetri Martin, and Michelle Obama.  And a lot of the bloggers I follow I’d love to meet in person for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.  Contact me if you’re interested.  *wink*

I don’t sleep.  At least not without assistance.

When I was in 4th grade, the band teacher told my mother I had no musical talent whatsoever.

I am so allergic to certain plants that my eyes swell shut if I smell them. I know one of them is a type of evergreen, but there are other mystery plants.

I wear tie-dye most days of the week.  I don’t know why.  I just like it.  I also have lots of things with mandalas and yoga-type stuff on them.

As a child, I was such a picky eater that I would only take pb&j sandwiches in my lunches.

When I had my daughter, I couldn’t walk for a long time because somehow my pelvis was out of alignment,  and still to this day I do not have full range of motion in my neck.  So you can say that she is a pain in the neck, literally.

The 11 Nominees (Please don’t be offended if you have more than 200 followers! Not everyone shows the number of followers on their blog, and I still think you deserve an award even if you have more than 200!!) :D  I tried and tried to find 11 blogs that I follow on WordPress that had less than 200 and I was wildly unsuccessful.  That says something for the blogs on here, that you all are AWESOME!  And if I nominated you and you’re not into this type of thing, just ignore this and go on with your life.  So here are the ones that I nominated:

MomTimes4-One of the bestest blogs outs there!  Illustrations of everyday family life.  Funny!  If you’re a parent you’ll find something that you can relate to here!

Front Range Scribbles-A blog that everyone can relate to because it’s about a little of everything.  Plus fantastic photos!

Sky Blue With Daisies– Check out her art.  I think she’s great!

Dancing In The Rain-Living life with chronic illness and a fabulous attitude!

ADDadultstrategies-If you’re ADD this blog is a great resource.

Bug Bytes-Another fun blog from a Mom!

Naptime WritingMoms unite!!!

The Flat Broke Blog-Show this girl some love.  She’s back on the cheese line.

11 Questions for me

~Would you rather live where they have mild winters and very hot summers, or have freezing winters and mild summers?

Freezing winters and mild summers.  I hate to be hot.  And you can always put more clothes/blankets on when you’re cold, but you can only take so much off when you’re hot!

~If you had to choose a different decade to live in for one month from 1900-1990, which would you choose? Why?

The 1960s.  I am very interested in that time period!

~Do you have children? How many?

Yes, I have two.

~Where you live are there more cars than bikes? Do you own a bike?

Cars.  I do own a bike.  I used to bike everywhere.  Another unfortunate side effect of having children.

~What is one thing you are really proud of that you’ve learned how to do as an adult? (Mine is juggling!!)

How to make good food out of a few cheap ingredients.

~What is your favorite fiction book?

The Princess Bride by William Goldman.  And I read it BEFORE I saw the movie, thank you very much!

~If you found $1000 cash on a ride at an amusement park, what would you do?

Take it to the lost and found, of course!

~What is your favorite kind of music to listen to?

Ooooo… I’m probably on a special list.  I don’t really have just one favorite.  If you were to somehow hack into my Ipod, you’d find a little of everything.

~What do you think is the best way to spend a Saturday night?

A long walk under a full moon, then watch a good movie

~Would you rather spend a week in the mountains or on a beach? Why?

In the mountains.  Quiet, many hiking opportunities, and you can’t beat that scenery!

~Do you do Pinterest? Want to share your link?

Yes I do.  And yes I will!

11 Questions for the Nominees:

-What is the neatest place you have ever visited and why?

-Favorite kind of pet?

-If you could only eat one food for a whole year, what would it be?

-Who is (or was) your celebrity crush?

-What genre of movie do you enjoy the most?

-If there was one thing that you could do that you can’t right now, what would it be and why?  (I would go back to school, and take cello lessons)

-Do you have a hobby that you enjoy?

-If you could invite influential, famous, or just people you admire over for dinner, who would you invite?

-What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

-If you were given $10,000 and were told you had to give away half of it to help someone, who would you give it to?

-What led you to start blogging?

Ok, that’s all I’ve got!  Happy reading/answering and so forth!!!!

The Fair… Fair or Unfair?

We’ve had a lot going on in our little world the last couple of weeks.  I probably have enough blog material to keep me busy for quite some time.  We all survived my husband’s first overnight business trip.  We went to the Science Center.  My son started second grade.  The dog is still alive (for now).  My husband downloaded a really cool game that you can play online for free.

The big thing in our neck of the woods this time of year is fair time.  The previous month is when the different counties have their own county fairs.  Then in August, we have the state fair.  This will be the first time that we have actually gone consecutive years to the event.  Last year just the adults went, and even got to camp overnight.  This year we took the kids.

If you have never in your life attended a State Fair in the Midwest, there are some things you need to know:

1)  There is no dieting at Fair Time.  There is nothing healthy at the fair.  Except maybe salad on a stick.  Everything else is fried.  They have everything from fried oreos to fried vegetables to fried butter.  Yes, fried butter.

2)  Everything is on a stick.  Everything.  See Post #1.  Except for maybe this:

3)  You must amass a small fortune to be able to attend.  It costs to park.  It costs to get in.  It REALLY costs to eat all that stuff on a stick.  I’m sure if we give it a couple of years, they’ll figure out how to charge to breathe the air there.

4)  Your kids will hate you because you won’t let them do every single thing they want to do unless you have that fortune referred to in #3, because you won’t be able to afford it.

5)  You will walk the equivalent of a half marathon. I’m not kidding.  You make up for this by ingesting a week’s worth of calories, however.

That being said, we pooled our resources to be able to go to the fair-I mean afford stuff at the fair.  My husband’s work actually reimburses for the tickets-which was why we decided to go.  We saved half of our money that we made from putting the stuff none of us can actually fit into anymore into my parent’s annual rummage sale.  We took cans back-never before did I realize just how much you can fit into a Nissan Altima with two children and their car seats.  We tried really really really hard to NOT spend money beforehand.  I researched to find all the best deals.  We packed water bottles.  Then my husband took over and we ended up abandoning all my great creative cost cutting ideas.

I started off the morning trying to put myself into a diabetic coma.  Pop tarts for breakfast.  Mmmmm.  I must have been figuring that if I actually went into a coma that we wouldn’t go spend all that money at the fair.  We actually got out of the house on time-that NEVER happens.  My husband disagreed with my idea to go park for free and take the shuttle bus for $1 each.  We instead paid the $10 for parking.

I had two goals while I was at the fair:  get some free stuff and buy another tie-dyed t-shirt.  There is a lady who does beautiful tie-dye at the fair each year.  Last year I finally bought a long-sleeved shirt from her after admiring them for years and years.  I know that I could do my own tie-dye.  As a matter of fact, I have an overflowing box of white clothing  all ready to go for everyone in the family along with three different tie-dye kits.  I can’t find the package of soda ash.  Apparently that is really really important or your tie-dying will mutate.  So instead I resort to purchasing my tie-dyed items.  I really need to find a place that sells soda ash.

I got my t-shirt.  I didn’t get anything for free.  I even went to the wine tent-I swear the wine samples were free.  No.  They were $1.  I guess that’s close to free.  It was actually the cheapest thing we found all day-$1 for a thimble sized amount of wine.

We also ate some food.  Lunch was an entree apiece.  My son and I had a corn dog.  My daughter had a hot dog on a stick.  This alone cost us almost as much as the three of us eating at McDonalds, which by the way was there too-apparently no place in the world is safe from McDonalds.  We drank water from our water bottles instead of actually buying something to drink. Supposedly there were to be places to refill your reusable water bottles, but I think they lied to us.  Later on we had ice cream.  It was really good ice cream-I surmise it must be made from gold considering the price.  We got a human sized bag of kettle corn on the way out.  At least my kids will have something for snacks for a few days.

My daughter wanted to go on every thrilling ride she saw.  My husband and I get sick on rides, and she is four so that just wasn’t going to happen.  She begged to go on everything from the double ferris wheel to the ride that is a giant cylinder that spins around-I have no idea what it’s called but someone always pukes on it.  We settled for “Ye Olde Mill”.  This is a ride that is little boats that go through what looks like an old saw mill that advertises everything you can pay money to eat at the fair inside.  It’s nice and cool and very dark in there.  It’s also fairly quiet except for my daughter shrieking in delight the whole way. We managed to convince her that this was as thrilling as it gets.  I’m glad she’s still young enough to believe it.

My son spent a good amount of time counting how many things were in other things-we saw an end table in the art building that was glass and filled with golf balls.  Kind of like those guessing things in grade school.  No wonder he was trying to figure it out, he thought there was a prize.  Then there was The Drowning Machine.  Yes you saw that right.  There was actually a display about how you can get sucked under by current when you’re boating.  Oh he couldn’t get away from it.  He must have asked the people there a hundred questions.  We had to basically pick him up and carry him away from it.  I feel sorry for whomever is his swim instructor next summer.

We did have fun.  The kids saw a lot of different animals-both your traditional farm animals and some more exotic ones at the petting zoo.  They got to milk a fake cow.  They both got to make spin art.  I took lots of pictures-which is important to me as a scrapbooker.  And we got to see a life sized moose carved out of chocolate.  To hell with the famous butter cow, this is my dream.  I was hauled away before I could jump over the rope and take a bite.

I was surprised to find that I still had money in my purse.  It turns out that was because my husband didn’t eat a thing while we were there.  Last year when the two of us went he got in a lot of trouble for getting a beer.  Not just any beer, a beer that cost $11.  Every time the subject of the fair comes up, I have to point out the $11 beer.  So he refrained from consuming anything.  Wow, he must really love me.  To help keep him from succumbing to hunger, we stopped on the way home and picked up a gourmet meal of Jack’s pizzas.

All in all a good day.  We were exhausted from all the walking but glad we went.

This morning my son got out of bed and remarked “Hey Mom I remember when we went to the Iowa State Fair.”  “Yes honey I hope so,” I replied, “That was yesterday”.

It’s Summer Vacation and No One Is Dead Yet

I didn’t die.  I’m still here.

Today is Friday the 13th.  I’m not superstitious.  Not really.  Ok maybe a little. It IS raining today.

I think maybe my Friday the 13th might have actually started yesterday.  It’s what I call a “Charlie Brown” kind of day.  Perhaps I have mentioned those on here before.  It’s when everything you touch gets ruined!  We had one corelle cereal bowl and one wineglass break all over the kitchen floor.  Add the kamikaze bottle of Catalina dressing that jumped out of the refrigerator as I was trying to fill my water bottle.  The lid broke-there was red dressing EVERYWHERE!  They do call it the “everything” dressing-but I don’t think the floor was in that category.

On top of that, my son almost missed t-ball because I was distracted by my husband’s extraction.  (See what I did there?)  He had THREE teeth pulled.  You know it hurts when my dear husband is taking painkillers.  He has some sort of strange belief that you should be tough and endure the pain.  Needless to say, he has been pretty floaty.

Meanwhile I am enjoying some of the perks of not working.  I never admitted to being Happy Susie Homemaker, but I’ve actually done a decent job of getting my house to the point of if someone were to actually want to come to our house that I think they wouldn’t throw up at the sight of it.  Obviously the kitchen floor isn’t part of that-I’m hoping to get it to the point that my shoes don’t stick slightly to the floor where the dressing was.  It’s amazing what you get done in your house when you have the time.

And then we have the “Mom I’m Bored” summer crisis.  My children are not normal children.  Or maybe they are normal modern day children.  Not sure there.  My daughter apparently was maliciously attacked by a fly at some point earlier this summer.  She’s terrified.  I don’t mean she gets a little upset when a “buggy” (as she calls them) comes around.  No, instead, we get the ear splitting breaking the sound barrier windows are going to break scream every time she spies any sort of insect or arachnid.  I’m sure the neighbors think we’re torturing her.  It’s to the point that she will barely play outside, and when I am actually able to get her out there she tries to use my body as a shield.  Not cool.  She doesn’t understand why I don’t use my Mom superpowers for good-somehow I am supposed to go out there and somehow eradicate every insect in the yard.

Then there is my son-he would rather sit on the couch and stare at a blank tv than do ANYTHING else.  Playing outside is something he rarely wants to do unless there is water involved.  Otherwise the best we can muster is letting him bring his stack of books outside and let him read them at the table on the deck.  He does that while my daughter clings to me for dear life because a bug might get her.

I’ve tried to at least give them some reasons to want to stay outside (without screaming).  We have a pool.  The top is deflated (slow leak-can’t find it) and the water turns green after a day because it’s been so hot.  I bought two different sprinkler heads at Kmart-one that rotates around and one that is a circle with holes in it.  I was really proud of that-most of the kids sprinklers are at least $10 and the two together cost around $7.  My son is scared of the one that goes around-he says he gets water in his eyes.  My daughter wants the “spinny” sprinkler every time, because she likes the power of trying to stop it from going around.  Earlier this week I made them sit out there until they compromised on which one they wanted to use.  Luckily my son figured out that if he put something on his face that would take care of the water issue (mini scientist that he is).  Since then he has run through the sprinklers wearing either safety glasses, his mask without the snorkel, or swim goggles.  It’s kind of funny, really.  And apparently the bugs must leave my daughter alone while the sprinkler is on.

And then there were the homemade bubbles.  We tried to make them.  I found a recipe online for the “World’s Greatest Bubbles” and tried it.  There are great recipes for them online but many use glycerin.  My aunt swears by it, so do many other people but I could not find glycerin anywhere I went.  And I went EVERYWHERE.  So we used good old fashioned corn syrup (same idea, right?)  We even shelled out the money for the neat looking sun tea jar as mentioned on Pinterest.  What we learned from this:  1)  The bubbles have to sit overnight or they don’t work as well as you would like.  2) Do not let toddlers come over to try the bubbles, they will eat them 3)  Don’t try to pick up the jar full of bubbles and move it without checking that the lid is on securely on.  What happened?  The jar fell and the part where the bubbles come out broke off.  My garage never has been so clean. We are going to try the bubbles again now that Wal-mart has the jars on clearance-I got one for $2.  I just need to get off of my butt and make the solution.

I tried to add the link to where I found the recipe because I think the girl that does it does a beautiful job on her site, but I sure can’t find where it is, so I’ll copy and paste:  http://ashleyannphotography.com/blog/2010/05/06/diy-the-worlds-best-bubbles/

We have some other random things, such as tie-dying, that I just need to get them excited enough to go out and do it.

I came to the realization that hey, school starts in almost exactly one month… We go back REALLY early here in corn country.  My kids may not realize it but they should be having a ball.  It will be over before they know it.  Poor poor tormented children whose mother won’t let them sit in front of the tv…