Weekly Wrap-Up: The Hurry Up and Get It Done So I Can Travel Edition

Funny-Happy-Saturday-GraphicI have company at the moment (my teenaged nephew has come up for a few days), and am trying to get packed to leave for a few days… so this is short and sweet.  Here’s what I did this last week.

Monday  Character Assassination Carousel: Bears on Wheels  Ever dislike a book that your kids LOVE!  Hence the Character Assassination Carousel, where folks take down books that they love to not love.  I had my turn this week.

Tuesday  Twisted Mixtape Tuesday Bathtub Time Machine:  The 70s!  My favorite tunes from the decade.

Wednesday  Wordless Wednesday: Imagination, Terry Cloth Style  My kids+towels=good imaginative fun.

Thursday  Theme Thursday:  I Wanna Rock (But Sadly Have Had Few Opportunities To Do So)  I’ve been to very few concerts in my day because I’m not cool.

Friday June 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Neck Boob Edition  Do you know what neck boobs are?  Apparently I have them…

Neck boobs.  You saw them here first.

Neck boobs. You saw them here first.

Things I Loved This Week

Interview Your Kids, Part I and Interview Your Kids, Part IIParenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures My friend Jenn, the Theme Thursday Jenn, was crappified for the whole world to see on part I.  I love it when parents interview kids-their answers are so funny!  I did the interview in part II, however my kids’ answers weren’t all that funny, except that The Princess said the meaning of life was flowers.  She should remind Evil Genius of that when he wants to do something nice for me…

Oh, and this happened on Twitter.  I about peed my pants.

Crappy Pictures

I think it’s one of the best things ever-Crappy Pictures is following me! (And Keith is pretty cool too, I don’t want him to feel left out…)

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

Ursula Sea Witch Cupcakes I’m not sure what would be scarier, these or the zombie batman cupcakes from last week’s search terms!

Monte Python have fun storming the castle  1) MonTY Python 2) That’s from The Princess Bride, people!

Buy fake fireplace without fire  It’s easier to carry that way because you won’t burn your hands.

blogs about peeing pants  Because that’s apparently ALL my blog is about.

cats washing machine Are the cats washing the machine or is it a machine that washes cats?

Eating chocolate makes me have to poop  Are you sure you’re eating chocolate and not chocolate ex-lax?  Just sayin…

Next Week

So yes it’s true- I’m going to be out of town.  Not a vacation per se, just a few days away from my home visiting my family, and a lot of being in the car.  Evil Genius will be left to his own devices.  I’m  a little bit scared about that.  I bet he eats all the cheese.  I also be he’ll enjoy the quiet!

It was all a bit last minute, and because of that I didn’t really get a chance to get much lined up.  I can say with certainty that I have a post all ready to go for Twisted Mixtape Tuesday.  If I find a picture to use for Wednesday you may see a Wordless Wednesday.  Thursday I shall be reblogging what may be the longest post I have ever written for the theme of road trips.  I’m pretty sure two people read it the last time, so it will be almost brand new.  Kind of like something you’d find at a consignment shop-we’ll call it a “gently read post”.

So here’s hoping your weekend is all you hoped it would be, and have a great next week!  I’m hoping to be back with a brand new post on Friday!

I'll be hearing this a million times...

I’ll be hearing this a million times…

May Secret Subject Swap: My Life Without Kids

secretWelcome to Take One of May’s Secret Subject Swaps. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My prompt is this:  Imagine yourself with no children, where would you be and what would you be doing? If you have no children, imagine yourself with children, how do you think life would be different?

It was submitted by: http://aworkingmomswhoas.blogspot.com/

If I had no children:

IMG_2307-001Eating would be much different.  I could eat grown up foods when I wanted, and no one would complain about it.  Or wear it.

I'm visiting today but no car rides with weird children...I would travel, and no one would be fighting in the backseat or complaining about the destination.  Or wearing Wal-Mart bags on their heads.

IMG_1591 (2)I would be fabulously in shape, since I would be able to work out and do things like take walks, take long bike rides, and do yoga without anyone protesting.

.My house would be clean.
(Though I must say my house, however messy that it is, doesn’t look like a drunken Barbie orgy took place. Oh poor Flynn Ryder-it must hurt to be passed out in that pose…)

IMG_1185I would sleep, perchance to dream and not be awakened by a little one at 6 am on a Saturday “Mommy you need to GET UP!”  (Some people are just too perky that early…)

But I would NOT have:

Bloggers in my Top 20 could receive this beautiful handmade, um, thing.  She says its a weapon...Original artwork for free.  Like this, um thing.

IMG_0460The experience of seeing the world as a child sees it.

IMG_0876Free comedic entertainment (I think he’s trying to read someone’s shirt while running those bases).

IMG_1225Infinite love.

The truth is, although there are times when I would like to just be able to have a day away, I was a very boring person before my kids came along.  I really don’t want to imagine a life without them.

This post is written for all the Moms out there.  Happy Mother’s Day ladies!

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com

http://chewylicious.wordpress.com/

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/

http://followmehome.shellybean.com

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/

http://aworkingmomswhoas.blogspot.com/

https://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com/

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/

dates2diapers2.blogspot.com

www.akashicwindow.blogspot.com

http://theycallmemummy.com

www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com

Theme Thursday: What I Did Not Do On My Summer Vacation

Theme ThursdayTheme Thursday is a weekly party where women get together and write their takes on a particular topic.  It is non fattening, good for your heart, and may actually reduce your bad cholesterol, kind of like Honey Nut Cheerios.

Today’s theme is summer vacation.

*Ahem*  This is my report on what I did on my summer vacation… nothing.

I remember when I was a kid-we always seemed to do something cool when we were on vacation.  Now that I am an adult, I am the queen of the Nonvacation Summer Vacation.  I long to go somewhere and do something without us getting seriously behind on our bills and then having to play catch up for the next year.  When you’re living on the edge, and not in the fun Aerosmith song way, then taking a vacation isn’t always an option.  Evil Genius and I have been married thirteen years and together almost fifteen.  We’ve never really taken a REAL vacation, though we both would like to very much.  I see different places that people go, and just wondering how the heck they can do it.  And EVERY year, even!  A little of it’s Facebook envy, a lot of it is just wanting to go somewhere, anywhere.

For example, where did I go for my honeymoon?  Nowhere.  I was teaching school at the time.  A job that I got after we planned our wedding, booked the church and so forth.  I got to have one day off, the day of my wedding rehearsal.  I had to be back the following Monday.  I believe I called in sick.  I remember one of my coworkers remarking “What kind of teacher gets married in September?”  Me.  Because our church was booked every weekend clear through midsummer, and we didn’t want to get married in 100 degree Iowa heat.  So there.  I WOULD have got married over my summer vacation, but I couldn’t.

As close as we have come to an actual vacation in the summer was the year we went to the zoo.  We took my adorable two year old son to the Omaha Zoo.  We had to drive over and back because we didn’t think we’d be able to foot the bill to stay over.  It was fun, but upon planning it I overlooked one very important detail: The Collegiate World Series happened to be that very day, and it was right across the street from the zoo.  We spent a lot of time waiting in traffic.  We did have a good time, though a good piece of advice for anyone thinking about doing this is to BRING YOUR OWN FOOD.  You are allowed to bring you own stuff in, which is pretty much a must considering a sandwich costs eight dollars.

100_1760

He was so little in this picture! So was I.

Speaking of expensive sandwiches, two years ago my husband took me to the Iowa State Fair so we could see Def Leppard and Heart live.  We camped overnight and my sister in law watched the kids so that we could make that happen (and even get some grown-up time together).  It was awesome-one of only two rock concerts I have ever attended.  What’s the expensive part?  If you have ever been to a State Fair, it is one gigantic money suck.  A corn dog is at least four dollars.  And it gets worse-often they jack the prices of stuff up later a night:  a beer after the concert cost eleven dollars.  I’m not kidding.  That beer my husband had afterwards will live in infamy, at least as long as I’m alive and can bring it up.

IMG_0915

Proof I was there, double chin and all.

This was also the famous weekend that my husband’s sister swore she’d never watch our children overnight again.  They weren’t bad, just needy.  They also needed to pee 50,000 times.

Our one and only time where we have really gone anywhere and stayed overnight as a family wasn’t technically over the summer.  A year ago this weekend we went to Kansas and attended the NASCAR Sprint Cup race at the Kansas Speedway.  It was fun but COLD.

IMG_0213

The world’s coldest NASCAR race. Except for maybe the one where Kurt Busch did a snow angel.

I worried a little about writing this post because I didn’t want to come off as whiny.  I’m not complaining.  I love my children and my husband, and I wouldn’t trade them for any old vacation.  I’m just talking as well as dreaming. Summer vacation the last few years has consisted of two kids resisting the outdoors and very hot weather.

So what do I WANT to do?  Drive somewhere.  I’d love to go to Chicago or Minneapolis or St Louis for a couple of days.  See mountains.  Go to the Grand Canyon.  See some ocean again.  Go to Seattle.  Go back to Maine. I’d go with my whole family, or even just a couple of days with Evil Genius (he won’t have his laptop, he’ll HAVE to pay attention to me).

Nothing expensive, nothing fancy, just something that isn’t the same old surroundings.  Are you one of the lucky ones that actually gets to travel over summer vacation or do you have to stick close to home?

This post has been brought to you courtesy of a cold cold Spring and cabin fever.

If you went on an a three month tour of Europe, took a long cruise through exotic locales, or bathed topless along the Riviera, just shut up already and DON’T comment.  Post your pictures on Facebook and then I can be plenty jealous. 

Be sure to check out all of the other Theme Thursday posts by clicking on the Theme Thursday icon at the top of this post.  Thanks for playing.