What I Learned in 2012: An Introverts Introspective Retrospective

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Hey it’s almost 2013!  Did you know I actually LEARNED stuff this year?  I honestly can say this year was an extremely valuable learning experience!  I’m gritting my teeth and grinning like an idiot as I say this, because some of the lessons weren’t so fun.  And they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.  They are wrong.

1)  Never ever use the following words in your blog, lest ye have weirdos, pervs, and pornographic spam:  Penis, naked, sparkly boobs, poop, pee, Chad Knaus.  The others make sense, not so sure about the last one.  On a related note, any time I want a laugh, I just go look at the search engine terms that people used to find my blog.  Which ones were the best, well that’s another post (in other words, stay tuned)!

He probably reads my blog.  Must be a Chad Knaus fan.

He probably reads my blog. Must be a Chad Knaus fan.

2)  You can pour your heart and soul into a job, but in the end it don’t mean a thing.  Especially if it ain’t got that swing.  (Doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop…) We love you and all, but your position is being taken over by a taco.  It happened to me.  And I’m learning it’s not the end of the world.

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3)  You can lead a man to underwear, but you can’t make him find it.  Ok, so I was a LITTLE behind on the laundry, but I did manage to get a couple of pairs clean.  I then laid out some of the clean clothes.  I even made SIGNS!

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Some guys just don’t pay any attention!

4)  Twitter is where it’s at.  Mainly because Facebook is a total douche for the blogging population.  Pay for people to see my posts?  No thanks.

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Why cats don’t use social media.

5)  Need friends?  Blog.  The ladies I have met in the blogging universe are the most wonderful, supportive community one could ever ask to be a part of.  I get all verklempt just thinking about it.  There are too many to name, but you know who you are!

What would we do without the internets?

What would we do without the internets?

6)  Underwear and butt are the funniest words in the universe. At least in my house.  Knock knock!  Who’s there?  Underwear! Underwear who?  Underwear Pajama Butt Pants!  Funny stuff, man.

The book the kids had to get for their little cousin for his birthday?  They think it's the funniest book ever.

The book the kids had to get for their little cousin for his birthday? They think it’s the funniest book ever.

7)  Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you need medication.  I probably still need it, I just can’t afford it.  Blogging IS terrific therapy, however.

Crazy ideas, crazy lady.

Crazy ideas, crazy lady.

8)  Four year olds only appreciate chores that have an element of danger to them.  Combined with seven year olds and grumpy genius husbands, ideas for stories on here are always an imminent possibility.

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This chore did not have enough danger in it.  We put in her charge of cups, therefore she tried to make us rue the day.  You can see I’m REALLY upset about this.

9) Just like in everyday life, your blog will have ups and downs.  Some days people will make you feel like you’re on top of the world, other days you’re as popular as a booger.  You just have to roll with it, just like in real life.  Oh wait, this IS real life.  Or IS it???

Amen.

Amen.

I know I learned more than that, but these were the best and most interesting things I’ve learned this year.  (WHAT? Uninteresting things are in my head?  Believe it or not, I’m afraid so!)  I realize that we still have a handful of days left in 2012, but with it being almost the weekend and then a holiday, I’d rather assume that I’ve learned everything I’m going to learn this year.  Have you learned anything valuable this year?  Feel free to share!

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Family. They’re important!  But I already knew that…Isn’t my family good looking?

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Resuscitation Successful! Items that didn’t work before now do. Wheee!

So shiny!

So shiny!

What looks like just a sink to you is something more to me.  After the sprayer/aerator thingie broke off the sink the other day I was going to give up on ever washing dishes again.  Evil Genius had enough of this things not working (ie wife has another excuse to stay away from dishes) nonsense.  Not only did he get a garbage disposal unjammer thingie and fixed it, he also replaced the faucet.  It’s shiny.  We have a sprayer that actually works.  AND everything is hooked up correctly now.  We do live in a house where we have yet to find any plumbing that is actually hooked up right.  Our shower is actually the exact opposite of what it says.  You turn it to cold to make it hot, and hot to make it cold.  Makes sense, right?  THAT was a lot of fun when we first moved in (not).

He so deserves praise. This week I’ll be sure to wash all of his underwear.  Now, let’s do the dance of joy!

Dare I say that this blog drove him to it?  Perhaps.  He gave me a REEAAAAAALLY hard time about a certain blog post that I made a while back. It took me a long time to figure out as to which one he was referring.  I finally realized that he was talking about Living With A Evil Genius (Or Two).  Honey, in my defense I was not complaining, or bitching, or whining.  It’s called humor.  I can point that stuff out from time to time.

Now if it had been the semi naked Thor picture that drove him to it, I was going to start posting shirtless superheroes with comments about broken household items more regularly.  Like this one:

He did point out to me that he had done quite a few things, all in one day.  Not being one to discredit my wonderful husband, here is what he did yesterday-1) Got up. 2) Put on pants. 3) Greeted people at church, wearing a nametag that had his real name and therefore people knew it was him greeting them!  4) Helped decorate the church for Christmas (I originally typed Easter in there for some reason). 5) Got a haircut. 6)  Hung Christmas lights outside. 7) Made two trips to Lowes in one day. 8) Fixed the garbage disposal. 9) Replaced the sink faucet. 10) Let both children live another day.  Not too shabby honey.

I like them.

I like them.

Greeting the members of the congregation was quite funny.  We weren’t funny, but our kids were.  My son greeted everyone by greeting their navel, my daughter shook hands in her own nonconformist way-she is left handed, and WILL NOT shake hands with her right hand.  They shook so many hands that by the time it was time to share the peace Princess Christmas seriously looked at me as if to say “AGAIN? REALLY?”  Then she proceeded to try to make off with one of the apron dresses they were dedicating.  The fact that she is so cute makes her very, very dangerous.  She knows this too-she wields her power whenever possible.  Her poor brother.  She’s got him doing whatever she wants, and I’m sure this is only the beginning of her world takeover.

While I’m talking about church, keep in mind that if I don’t publish any more blog posts after Saturday, it’s because I’m dead.  I have to sing a solo with the choir backing me up next Sunday.  I can’t get through the darn song without panic setting in, and I just may very well have a heart attack and die.  I haven’t done a solo in years.  As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve done one since I’ve had children.  And I used to do this stuff daily.  I used to hire myself out to sing at weddings.  I USED TO TEACH MUSIC.  Hello Panic Disorder.

Despite worries of impending death by participation in music I think this week is starting out pretty well!  If I could do a cartwheel, I’d probably do one.  Except knowing me I’d probably pee my pants!  Check back in tomorrow to see what mirth and merriment we’re going to be getting into!