One Starship Captain, A Cat, And Some Fish Get Hung On A Tree (Among Other Things)

The Mediocre Christmas Tree

The Mediocre Christmas Tree

We were a day late getting the tree up and decorated this year, mainly because we hosted Thanksgiving.  Now that’s not as glamorous as it sounds.  Really as soon as I typed that I pictured Pat Sajak and Vanna White standing in my living room.  Since I don’t have letters on my tree, they aren’t necessary.

BUT I DIGRESS.  Focus lady, focus.  I’m fighting some sort of mutated alien respiratory virus that’s sure to keep me sick for awhile.  It’s hard to concentrate under these conditions.

As the kids decorated the tree and then for the next two weeks continued to undecorate and redecorate it, I found it very interesting what ornaments they thought were neat and which ones they barely paid attention to.  I thought it would be cool to take a closer look at some of these ornaments and their story.  This past week I read that Three Monkeys and a Martini is having a contest.  A favorite Christmas tree contest.  At first I wasn’t really interested because I don’t consider my tree to be very awesome.  It’s not very big.  It’s fake-because I am ALLERGIC.  I really am!  Evil Genius doesn’t believe me.  I figured the trip to the ER here a few years back would have been the kicker.

It’s just a Mediocre tree, but it’s full of memories and stories and that’s what really counts.  The more I thought about it, I decided it would be good to do the contest after all as well as do this post.  So here are some of the things you’ll find on our tree:

Plastic icicles and snowflakes-Totally cheesy.  But we had the icicles as a kid and I always thought they were cool.  Mom and I were at a thrift store and they had some.  They do look very sparkly on the tree.  And they must look good under the easy chair because that is where I keep finding them, every stinking night.

Bride and Groom Snowpeople– My Mom made these for me for our first Christmas as a married couple.  Another one that my daughter will  not leave alone.  She thinks they are so cute!  As I took the picture, I see the groom is MIA.  Typical.

One Fish, Two Fish-I love Dr Seuss.  I think I need a Green Eggs and Ham to go with it, don’t you?

Captain Picard-I actually had more than one Star Trek guy once upon a time.  We also had the doctor from Voyager.  First he lost his arm and then was seriously maimed beyond recognition.  This was a joint effort between a toddler boy and a very evil kitty cat.  Now I think the Borg are after Picard-he keeps trying to get out of his little doorway.

Celestial-I have a thing for the heavens, and celestial stuff.  Not as much as I used to, I mean I used to have a whole celestial bathroom for pete’s sake.  it was kind of scary.  I’ve toned it down, saving my celestial stuff for a few places here and there.  I’m more into mandalas and stuff like that now.  I guess it’s part of my lifelong search for peace and zen.

Starbucks-Oh yeah, I have two.  Probably the cheapest thing I’ve ever bought there!

Ms Thing keeps a close eye on things.

Ms Thing keeps a close eye on things.

Dough Ornaments-We used to make a lot of ornaments out of dough that my mom would mix up for us when we were kids.  After they were baked, we would paint them.  Unfortunately, between humidity and kids they don’t last as long as I would like them to.  The one in the picture is one my mom made of our family recently.

Cat Ornaments-I used to have a lot of cat ornaments.  Now I don’t.  Most have disappeared or have been physically destroyed.  This time I’m looking at the black kitty, who is trying to be the alpha kitty in the household…

Recycled-My very favorites.  I am into that kind of stuff.  I used to work at Eddie Bauer, and they would always have these neat recycled ornaments.  A couple of years I bought some to give and some to keep.  One is recycled glass and the other is some sort of recycled metal (probably made from cans and then painted to look like its copper).

The tree in a raindrop (or is it a teardrop)??-My daughter thinks this is the most beautiful thing on the face of the planet.  It’s a plastic teardrop with a little silver christmas tree inside of it.  She has taken the tree out of the teardrop about 3,000 times since we put the tree up.  I had to hide it to keep it from her.  That’s because it’s very old.  I had to call my Mom to ask about that one because I wasn’t sure of the story.  It was my grandmothers and her mothers before that.  Now of course this is the one I really wanted to take a picture of it, and it is missing.  Again.

There are many other notable ornaments on my tree. Like the ornament I got my first year of teaching from one student who made me tear my hair out.  As crazy as he drove me, that kid could sing, and I convinced him to try out for a local music group.  He made it, and has been singing ever since.  There are ornaments from my childhood.  And many others that tell a story.  I really don’t want this post to take ten hours to read, do you?

There are a few things that you WILL NOT see on my tree.  Like anything breakable. If I had anything breakable it’s long gone.  Again due to Evil Kitty, my kids, and this year a dog with a big lethal tail.  Also I have yet to really have any ornaments made for me by my kids.  One is not inclined to do it, the other whisks her creations away to be found later.  And really only ONE Star Wars ornament, and it’s not a Death Star that lights up.  Some day I WILL HAVE ONE!

My tree may not be the grandest, but it is definitely our tree because we have made it our own.  Do you have any ornaments on your tree that are special?

Advertisements

It’s My First Blog Post! Truths About Me, Scary or Otherwise

I am not a cat… but I like this picture…

Apparently, I amuse people.  I find this quite hard to believe, but at least in print I have been told I am somewhat entertaining.  Not just me, necessarily, but me and the combination my two children, who are as unique as they come.  Somehow the mix here just works.  Time and time again I keep being told I need to blog.  Things that are true about me:

1-I am a Mom.  I guess I just said that.  I have two children, a boy and a girl, ages 7 and 4.  I also have a husband who can be a child.

This is not my family.  But we are very strange.

2-I used to have a life.  Ok, not much of a life, but I used to frequent places that didn’t feature groceries and one stop shopping in them.

There are usually two children crying when I am at the store.  Yes they belong to me.

3-I used to be a teacher.  I even went to school to be one.  The kids were great, it was the grown-ups who sucked.  I think the teacher choice was correct, it was the field that I chose to teach.  Hence the name of the blog, The Sadder But Wiser Girl. A gold star for you if you know what movie had a song in it of the same name.  Currently I am a KOSAHM (not to be confused with KOSAMA)-A kind of stay at home mom.  I work some, my hours and where I work vary greatly from week to week.  I don’t make much therefore I must take my kids to work with me when I work outside the house and attempt to work while I am home with them.  As a start this blog my elementary aged child has been out of school for a week, and I am already nearly nuts.

No this wasn’t me when I was teaching.  I didn’t really have a desk…

4-I live in a very small town in the Midwest.  One of those towns where the streets literally had no name until recently.  One of those towns where every event is done on the same date, at the same time, at the same place.  I am not from this town, not even from anywhere around here.  Therefore, I do not know what is going on.  Ever.

These are all everyday images for me.

5-I would like to be one of those moms who bakes everything from scratch, sews and makes all her own clothes, grows all her own food, and uses only all natural and organic products.  You know, I’d open my windows and start singing and small animals and birds would gather and join in.  Guess what, I am NOT that person.  Instead I am an anxiety ridden, ADD mom who makes a lot of food from a box that people in this house don’t eat, loves the organic grocery store but can’t really afford to buy anything there, and has a garden planted by my husband that I know the location of but really can’t tell you where anything is in it.  I also spend a lot of time clipping coupons and looking at those blogs that the frugal thrifty people have that I never actually use much of the advice on there-mainly because I lose the coupons before I get to the store or the recipe before I make it.  But I try.  What were we talking about again?

This isn’t me by the way.  That isn’t either.  But I’d kill for that hair.

6-Which leads me to this-I’m looking for something.  Really I am.  Most of my time is spent looking for something.  Keys, my son’s glasses, the remote, the box of pasta I KNOW I bought last week.  I’m also REALLY looking for something.  Purpose.  What I want to be when I grow up.  Inner peace. A good nights sleep.

And with these truths I start my blog.  Remember when reading it some important advice-enjoy it if you like it, stop reading if you don’t, and if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all!