Every Christmas they always have the commercials where the wife or husband gives the husband or wife a new car. It’s sitting in the driveway or the garage, with one of those gigantic bows on it. I always have several thoughts when I see these ads: Where do you get such a big freaking bow? What do you do with the bow afterwards? How the hell can anyone afford to give their spouse a new car? Why would anyone give someone something they have to make payments on for the next several years?
Or there are ten billion commercials for jewelry, because apparently jewelry makes women happy. I own a couple of pieces of actual jewelry, and one of them is my wedding ring. Which I found, by the way. It was under my bed.
My husband and I have never been traditional gift givers. We tend to gravitate towards things that are less conventional. Often if we actually have money at the time, we go shopping or get something that we kind of need and enjoy. Our anniversary is coming up in two days. It’s #13-the “lace” anniversary. I suppose I’m supposed to give him a doily. The #13 to me is very superstitious, so I tend to refer to it as the Superstitious Anniversary.
I’m not one of those high maintenance girls. I honestly don’t really like jewelry all that much. I do make my own stuff, but it’s not diamond jewelry type stuff. It’s glass, wood, and metal beads. So no diamonds to shut me up. Which is good for him. What is annoying to him is that I am practical. I’d be much more likely to ask for something I can use when it comes to gifts. He is a typical guy in that he has kind of expensive tastes in some respects.
We’ve kind of already gone out. My Mom stayed with the kids, and we went out. We people watched, had a couple of drinks, tried out a couple of places we hadn’t been before, rented movies and came home. We’ve hoping to go to another football game this coming weekend as well. We’re not really exciting these days.
He tends to go either way on occasions. He won’t do anything, or he will do something pretty cool. For Valentine’s Day one year he gave me a Starbuck’s gift card and a gift card to the chocolate place downtown. Another time he gave me a gift certificate for a massage at the local spa. One year when we were strapped for cash he wrote me a very sweet letter, which of course I have kept and will keep forever.
What I WISH I could give my husband for our anniversary if money were no object:
1) A brand new motocross bike.
2) Tickets to an NFL game.
3) A man cave
4) A romantic weekend getaway
5) All of the Star Trek series, all six Star Wars movies, MASH, and Home Improvement on Blu-Ray.
What I am probably going to end up doing instead:
1) A card-maybe even storebought
2) A nice note
3) Dinner-as in home cooked. Not Kraft macaroni and cheese.
4) And it he’s really nice to me, maybe we’ll go buy the Avengers movie. It is meant to be, considering it comes out on Blu-Ray on our anniversary.
I honestly WOULD like him to be nice to me, and maybe coherent. And try not to insult me… He was trying to be funny and told me how he was comparing marriage to a wound. He didn’t understand why I was a little offended. He doesn’t do subtle, but I wasn’t going to yell at him right then… I hope he figures it out.
But really if money were no object, besides him being nice to me, what would I want?
1) Dinner at a restaurant. A not McDonald’s restaurant. But nothing too swanky or pretentious. My favorite restaurant is “Macaroni Grill”. Yummy.
2) Tickets to a musical. Do you know how badly I want to see another musical? We saw “Phantom of the Opera” before we had children. It was magical. I still don’t know why I didn’t take pictures. This was before digital cameras, and cell phone cameras.
3) An overnight stay at a hotel. I don’t think I need to elaborate much on why I want this one. We have only had a couple of overnights without children, and one of them was in a tent.
On the other hand there is what I am wanting that is realistic. As I said, I am not high maintenance. But most likely with his busy schedule, it’s probably all asking a lot.
1) My husband to hold me, hug me, kiss me, and tell me he loves me without acting like he was going to die.
2) A card-homemade or storebought.
3) A note detailing how much he loves me. It can be in Klingon. No wait, it can’t.
4) Dinner, with candles, and maybe the kids tied up in the basement. HA HA. How about just dinner…
5) A nice bottle of wine. Nothing expensive. A bottle of Relax riesling would be just fine.
6) Dessert. Chocolate.
7) Did I mention I want him to be nice to me?
So honey, I know you aren’t reading my blog. And that’s ok. But if you did take a little peek today… you can’t say you don’t know what I want. Not the actual product that is featured in the picture below. Even though I do like toilet paper.