Last month I was taking the laundry out of the dryer. Now there’s nothing really unusual about that, I do that often (at least once a week). What WAS unusual about it was WHAT I found in that load of laundry. There were the usual socks with no mates, the jeans that didn’t get quite unbunched and had to be run through again because they weren’t quite dry, a receipt from Evil Genius’s pocket…
And there was poop.
Not just any poop, we’re talking a perfectly preserved petrified poop. Don’t you just love my use of consonance there?
Me being the poop detective, examined the evidence and quickly concluded that it belonged to The Princess. She had been very good about putting her laundry in the hamper, and bringing it down to the washer. I should have known that there was something fishy going on.
Of course upon confronting her (not with the actual evidence, I wasn’t about to carry that around the house) she at first denied it but then burst into tears. If it had been a crime show, she would have confessed “Yes it was I who pooped and put it in the washer.”
I got to thinking after the fact that I really hadn’t seen her poop much since I started work. When we were at home all the time she would make sure that I knew that she had pooped in the potty, the size, and sometimes even the consistency. This was because I had gotten in the very bad habit of rewarding her with a bit of candy when she did go. This started quite some time ago when she was so backed up that we had to put her on Miralax-the poor kid was afraid to go because she would hold it in until it hurt terribly to go. Anytime we could get her to poop in the potty was a small victory.
There, everything you ever wanted to know about my daughter’s poop but were afraid to ask.
Institutional food as a whole tends to not be real full of fiber rich foods, at least not in the way that she is used to eating them at home. This is no reflection on the quality of the food there. This preschool has the best cook on this side of the earth. She is amazing. I still make many of her recipes for the kids at home, and they gobble them up. I was pretty stoked to come back to work to eat her food, even though it would probably impact my waistline-it’s so good you reall can’t have just a little bit! However, despite how yummy it all was it was pretty obvious that we were going to make some changes to what Princess Constipation ate. After all, we already had her on the Miralax, and a pretty hefty dose at that. And every morning she asks for plain yogurt with honey and granola which we throw in a good amount of flaxseed.
What to do, what to do…I looked at the menu for the week, trying to decide what to do. The Princess came over to look at it alongside me and finally asked “Can I just take the fruits and vegetables like I eat at home to school?” Genius. We could start from there!
If you are a frequent Target shopper like me, you have seen the little bento boxes that they started carrying in their Circo line of kids stuff. They’re not bad pricewise, and having had children from Japan that brought their own food to school, they’re pretty authentic. I’m a sucker for that kind of thing-I’ve always wanted to have my own bento box. So naturally I bought one. I wasn’t sure how it would work, but I must say I was pleasantly surprised.
This is where Princess Constipation really surprised me. Not only did she want to bring her own fresh fruits and vegetables, she also wanted to bring her own whole grain main dishes. Whole wheat tortillas with hummus, whole wheat cheese quesadillas, whole grain pasta with cheese and tomatoes. Even on days when they had things that I thought she’d be all over, she still would rather eat her own food than eat the fare with the other kids. I couldn’t help but smile about this. I must be doing something right with this one.
Not to mention it was really cute to hear her say “I’m on a high fiber diet.”
She loved carrying the bento box to school in her Hello Kitty lunchbox. She got upset on the few days that they were having something like chili that she could eat that was high fiber and I hadn’t made any moves to pack her some food. I ended up putting stuff in it anyway, usually peppers and mandarin oranges.
She’s a little bummed now that she’s done with preschool, but is very excited to take her little bento box to school next year. One more plus for kindergarten!
We had kindergarten roundup yesterday, but that’s a story for another time…
OH, my! So many sad/exciting moments goin’ on over there!! Good luck, Mama! P.S. I need you to write titles for me 😉
Send stuff my way and I will wave my magic wand. SOmetimes I come up with some good ones!
Just having this talk about constipation in children yesterday with my cousin, because her older daughter had this issue and now she is trying to potty train her a=son and afraid he will go down the same path. I have been lucky in that my kids don’t have this issue from holding it, but poor Emma legitimately has issues with constipation and truly has always had a problem even as a newborn (she has issues with too much lactose from milk). So just like princess now she gets a high fiber and fruit diet. So yes I can totally relate there!
My poor kid is going to be the poster child for constipation by the time she’s in grade school.
I believe I’m now ready to write my dissertation and receive my PhD in your daughter’s poop habits.
😉 LOL! Are you saying I’m going to be losing readers? Oh well, let em leave.
I have to admit, I was a bit uneasy at your choice of subject–but you handled it well. All the poop that’s fit to print…..
I find it crazy that the washer didn’t break that down! My friend once found a whole corn dog in her washer. She thinks one of her kids stuffed it in their pocket from school!
A WHOLE corn dog??? LOL! How weird!
Oh my goodness – she was probably mortified. That’s one I can say I’ve never dealt with. Bless her heart. I love that she says she’s on a “high fiber diet”. One thing I don’t miss – poop issues!!
Have a great holiday weekend!
It all goes along with the territory of parenting!
LOL! Does this mean we can start sending you poop samples for your lab to analyze? 🙂
I’m like Bones… except I deal with a different body matter…
I’m boxing up some samples for you now. 😉
I’ll be looking for them in the mail… 😉 Or did you send them UPS?
I LOVE this post–but you already had me at “perfectly preserved petrified poop.” One more thing we have in common to talk about !!
I’m so glad you liked it. I’m feeling like I shouldn’t have posted it! Again, my weirdness doesn’t necessarily jive with the rest of the world!
Excited about eating healthy! You are doing something right. (I admit I skimmed the bowel movement section).
UGH we are at the stage where we’re still rewarding my son for even pooping in his diaper NEAR the bathroom. (he’s maybe autistic and is 3 1/2)
We’ve dealt with the BS that is “I can hold this in for DAYS dudes” and the aftermath that comes with it…
You are totally doing the right thing. Plus, funny as hell in telling us about it. Which maybe matters 50% anyway….
This is small potatoes to what we have dealt with-when the poop comes out she screams bloody murder because it’s so huge. The employees at Family Video are probably scarred for life after hearing her screaming her head off pooping in their bathroom!
Kids just never cease to amaze do they? Makes for great blog material, that’s for sure. You know what I realized though. I have “poop” in the title of my blog, yet I’ve never written about it. I come here to read about poop! And every time, I find the posts hilarious. I think I need to put my money where my mouth is and get to doing some writing about poop too. You have inspired me. I only hope to do it half as well as you! 🙂
I’m glad I’m inspiring in the area of writing about poop. Maybe we need to create an award for great writing about bodily functions! Ooooo-I need to get Menopausal Mother on that, we’ve been discussing needing new blog awards!
I can’t believe it came out of the wash preserved. Might have to run out & get me a bento box – so cute. Love the cat in the “hot tub.”
I was shocked too. I’ve found soiled underwear but never a whole turd!
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