I have this recurring dream. I’m at a store, and all of the lights go out and I’m totally in the dark. This isn’t really a terrifying dream, unlike the ones I have where we have a tidal wave. Totally unlikely as we live in Iowa. If that ever happens, I’m moving. More realistically, I also have lots of dreams about tornadoes. And being naked, but never naked in a tornado. Or a tidal wave.
Something like that is coming our way… must go to the store!
Because we have yet ANOTHER snowstorm coming our way, I popped into Target quickly to pick up a few things in between work and the 3000 other important things I needed to do. As I have shared before, Target and all other civilization is in a nearby town. I was in kind of a hurry, but never in too much of a hurry to check out those fabulous end caps with 30% off, 50% off, 70% off, and NINETY PERCENT OFF!
As I was making my way from the Valentine’s clearance to the shampoo aisle, this happened:
That’s right, suddenly I was in complete darkness. The lights went out completely. This was followed by a few moments of awkwardness. Then a light, then two, then ten, because smartphones! Then the back up generators came on and were accompanied by… that’s right, the fire alarm.
What’s so amazing about that? People, that’s what. You’d think that 1) complete darkness followed by 2) a really loud fire alarm might get people moving. But people kept shopping.
No, no, go ahead. If there’s a fire you’ll burn up, that’s all.
This really, really bothered the former cashier in me (more than ten years in retail and no strange diseases contracted, thank you very much). Hellooooo…. no one will be able to ring up your stuff. Cash registers run on electricity people!
It wasn’t until some of the employees had to come around and assure people that while nothing seemed to be wrong other than the entire block shrouded in darkness and chaos, they would have to leave since the fire alarms were going off. They could put their names on their carts if they wanted to come back later.
I looked at my cart with a bottle of Miralax, a large bottle of ketchup, Craisins, my diet pop, and two Valentine items that were 90% off and asked myself if it was really worth it to try and come back in a little bit. It wasn’t. So I left.
My kids were fascinated by this tale. When I told them why I didn’t get anything in town today that was all they could think about. They must have asked 1000 questions.
“Why did the lights go out at Target?”
“Were you scared?”
“Was there a fire? Were the toys okay?”
“Did you die?”
That night I sat and looked at my dwindling supply of diet pop and flirted with the idea of driving all the way back to town to retrieve my precious Diet Sunkist Lemonade at the low low price of 3 for $10.
Nah…
Later on today when we are sitting at home in the middle of the next blizzardpocalypse I may very well regret that decision. I’m lucky though because t least I’ll have some entertainment this evening. Ironically, tonight at 8:30 pm EST there is a very special event going on. Got snow? Got kids? Want to gripe about the snow… and maybe the kids too? Click on the image below to be taken to a magical place-the Moms Who Write and Blog website!
PS-If there is some kind of award for writing posts with Target as the subject I so think I need it…
The Sadder But Wiser Girl 
Always find human behavior fascinating in these ‘out of the ordinary’ situations. I think if the lights went out in a store in some parts of the UK there would be a shoplifting frenzy!
People are so dumb. It’s like we’ve become immune to alarms and stuff which is NOT good. My diet drink is Orange Crush. I’d probably have gone back for it. Ok I would not have gone back for it, but I’d complain about not having it.
HAHA to “Did you die?”
“Did you die?” Bahahahaha!
Lol that kids questions were great. I was a Kmart cashier when the lights went out once. I can tell you that no – shopping actually doesn’t stop. I had to use a calculator and figure the tax – and this is probably why I was fired. I mean c’mon – tax? We don’t tax food, but we do tax everything else. I was all I’m just gonna add tax to the total because WTF KMART. Although, I have Target’s debit card and I’d want that 5% off, so…
When the lights went out in the store I worked in, the shoplifters had a heyday! We caught one enterprising lad sliding a fishing rod down his pant leg!
You totally deserve the Target award, at least you deserve to have your blog show up second in web searches for Target!
I love this story, it’s much better than how you told it last night 😉
I’m glad you didn’t die!
So, how much half price Valentine’s candy did you stuff in your bag when the lights went out? 🙂
“were the toys ok”? LOL!
I swear, the weirdest stuff only happens to you, Sarah…and it always seems to involve Target…
Yeah you’d think I’d figure out to NOT go there. I just can’t stay away!!!
Ummmmmm…your shenanigans in life crack me up. We’d be a good pair in life. Seriously. Shit always happens and the only ones to witness it are security cameras
I got a big smile about your decision to not have your name attached to the cart stuffed with Miralax and 90% off valentines – terrific awkward social moment. Enjoyed!
I totally wasn’t thinking of it that way… until now! HA HA-thanks John!