Fly on the Wall May 2014: The Second Breakfast Edition

Welcome to the May 2014 edition of the Fly on the Wall! This month we are still abuzz at our house. Where have I been? Interestingly enough, my boss was called for jury duty. No big deal, right? Wrong! The poor lady ended up being at justice’s beck and call for THREE WEEKS! I was barely staying in the blogging game before that happened. The good news is that I have several things that occurred over the past month that should give me plenty of fodder for posts, if I would only WRITE THEM!!!!

As of publication of this edition, my kids will be out of school for the year at 11:15 Central Time. Today. Yes you saw that right. This is starting on May 23rd and out until August 14th. Can you believe that????

While you’re pondering that, read below what has occurred in my place of residence this past month. Then afterwards visit some of the other participants in this month’s fly post by following the links at the bottom of the post.

First things first. Will insomnia render someone completely crazy or just mildly insane?
Asking for a friend.

The Princess: “You’re my favorite Mommy that I’ve ever had.”
Me: “I’m the only Mommy that you’ve ever had. Unless you have one stashed under your bed somewhere.”
The Princess: “I wouldn’t feed her so no.”

Words uttered in my house this past month: “Do you have the sound remote? I can’t hear the TV over the chicken.”

Evil Cheesecake Version #4. White Chocolate Raspberry. I at least got to have some of the batter. I didn’t get any cheesecake.

Evil Genius (to the kids): What are you two talking about?
The Professor: Onions.
Me: Onions?
The Professor: The Princess thought the Memorial Union was the Memorial Onion.
Yeah I always get those two mixed up too…

We have something known as experimental music at our house. This is when my children experiment playing the piano using various parts of their body.
“Use your feet! Play the piano with your head! Play it with your BUTT!”
How about not.

The cat kept sampling Evil Genius’s Diet Dr Pepper. I wasn’t sure if I should take it away or keep watching to see what it does to him…

The Princess made her own scrapbook with her own pictures in it as reasonable fascimiles to real life. Can you tell what she wrote as the caption on this one?

Keep in mind that there are some very important questions to ask in life.
Like what kind of wine best compliments microwaveable macaroni and cheese?

The Professor spies me eating nutrigrain waffles. His reaction?
The Professor: Are you eating breakfast AGAIN????
I had to think about this for awhile. Then it dawned on me that I had indeed eaten breakfast earlier that morning. I had just forgotten.
Ah…Second breakfast.

The Princess played soccer this Spring. Unfortunately, the silly weather we’ve had this spring has really mucked it up for some of us parents. I got to attend one game the whole season.
I went and peed my pants from coughing so much.
The end.

Signs that maybe I need to NOT be on Facebook at all hours of the night when I can’t sleep: At some point I put Jay and Silent Bob on my list of inspirational people.

I just never know who is going to be waiting for me after school…

A few weeks ago they had themed days at school. One of the days the kids were supposed to dress as a career that they wanted to pursue someday. The Princess announces that she is going to dress like a Princess.
Me: “A Princess is not a career, pick something else. A career is like a job.”
The Princess: “Oh yes it is. A Princess’s job is to take care of her castle. AND her people.”
She set me straight, yes she did.

Childhood Myth #491: If the dog pees on it, as soon as it’s dry it’s ok to play with.

I picked up the kids at school for The Princess’s six year old checkup. As we were walking to my car, The Professor points to an apartment building and says “That is where my friend from school lives. She lives in apartment 3D.”
He knows me too well, before I could even say anything he quickly added with a sigh “No mom, they do not do everything in 3D there.”
Fine, ruin all my fun.

I got the ultimate nerd compliments this past month.
1) I was asked to list all of the Marvel movies in correct viewing order.
2) I was asked all about the phone booth at the edge of town by several people assuming that I would know why there was a Tardis in rural Iowa.